


Poison & Wine

by queenslvy



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock BBC
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 22:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 57,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenslvy/pseuds/queenslvy
Summary: It is important people know that this is not my work. I should not received any credit from this. However, I enjoyed reading this but sadly the owner has deactivated her account. Therefore, to honour her work from her brilliant mind, I decided to post it here rather than leaving it. If you happens to know the owner, feel free to tell her. Again, I do not claim this work as mine. It is 100% belongs to h0neyimholmes.





	1. Breath of Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [h0neyimholmes](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=h0neyimholmes).



> It is important people know that this is not my work. I should not received any credit from this. However, I enjoyed reading this but sadly the owner has deactivated her account. Therefore, to honour her work from her brilliant mind, I decided to post it here rather than leaving it. If you happens to know the owner, feel free to tell her. Again, I do not claim this work as mine. It is 100% belongs to h0neyimholmes.

You pushed your sunglasses to the top of your head as you rubbed your eyes. The plane ride had really done a work on you. Picking your suitcase up, you walked along the airplane corridor, eyes searching for a blonde-haired woman. Standing on the top of your toes, you continued to scan the crowd. With no luck of seeing your friend, you fished your phone out of your purse. Scrolling down to her name, you tapped on it, sending a message.

I’ve landed. Can’t seem to find you… Standing next to a row of chairs and a pillar.

You leaned against the gray pillar, looking out at the airfield through the floor-to-ceiling window. The sky was gray and looked threatening of rain. You felt your phone buzz in your hand, looking down you swiped the message with your thumb.

We’re walking in right now. John’s fault. We see you now. – MW

Just as you were about to look up, you met the face of Mary Watson. Grinning, you walked quickly over to her and enveloped her in a hug.

“I’m so happy to see you, A- Mary!” You quickly fixed your name slip as Mary hugged you back. Laughing at your mistake, she patted your back.

“Takes a bit of getting used to. (Y/N), you look lovely.” Mary had pushed you back to get a full look of you.

You rolled your eyes, grinning. You were only wearing jeans, a sweater, and tennis shoes, after all. Your eyes landed on John next, who stood a bit away from both you and Mary.

“John! It’s so nice to finally see you in the flesh.” You laugh.

“You too, (Y/N). I’m just happy we could arrange it all.” John smiles, giving you a hug as well. “I was beginning to think that you’d never be able to.” John picked up your suitcase, and gestured that the three of you should begin to leave. “Come along, ladies. Let’s go get lunch.” The three of you left the airport and went to John and Mary’s car, taking your respective seats in the car. Driving onto the streets of London, you couldn’t help but let out a bit of a laugh.

“It’s been ages since I’ve been here. I forgot how beautiful the city was..” Everything was just as it had been the last time you were there. Granted that you had only seen the tourist attractions (that’s all the time you were given due to your assignment at the time), but the city still seemed just as beautiful.

Mary turned in her seat, looking back at you. “Maybe you should stay for longer this time. You could stay until the baby comes!” Mary smiled. “It’d be nice to have a girl to talk to.”

“Well, I can try, dear, but I can’t guarantee anything. I’d need a place to stay and a job…” You trailed off; fingers tapping your chin as you turned your attention back to the outside surroundings.

John spoke up, clearing his throat a bit, “There’s an opening up at Bart’s. And with the experience that Mary told me you have, we could always use you. Extra hands are forever welcome.”

“Oh, John, she could stay with..”

John didn’t even let her finish, “Absolutely not, Mary. He’d lose it.”

“Come on now, John, she could handle him. And he’s in need of another mate, too..” Mary trailed off, giving her husband an expectant look. Your attention had turned back to their conversation.

“I’m sorry, who is this?” You asked. Judging by John’s immediate reaction, you knew it had to be someone close to him.

“My best friend.” John stated, ignoring Mary’s gaze.

“Yes, and he’s got an open room,” Mary continued, looking back at you again, “I think you’d like him, (Y/N).” John snorted and Mary smacked his arm. “Oh, you hush.”

There was silence then for a bit. Turning down onto a road, John slowed down the car until pulling off into a parking place. After stepping out of the car and helping Mary out, you linked her arm through yours. “Mary, what’d you mean when you said that you thought I could keep up with him?”

“He’s smart, (Y/N). Very smart, and he tends to use it obnoxiously on occasion; however, once you get used to him, he’s very lovable.” Mary patted your arm, guiding you slightly to the restaurant.

“What she’s saying is that he’s an arse. And I would know that since he’s my best friend.” John interjected, and shrugged it off when Mary gave him a look. “I’m just telling her the truth.” Your pace of walk slowed as Mary’s did in front of a restaurant called Speedy’s.

You all walked into Speedy’s, ordered your food, and sat down in a booth. Mary and John sat on one side, and you on the other. You each shared in conversation about what you had been up to, and what they had been up to. You explained to Mary and John exactly why you had left the job the both of you shared before she had left. Mary and John told you what color they had decided to paint the nursery for their baby. When you pointed out that colors couldn’t possibly be the most interesting thing in their lives, they quietly told you about Magnussen, a man who had threatened the lot of them.

When they finished telling you of the threats he had against Mary, you asked a question. “Where’s this man now?”

“Dead. He was shot.” John stated, leaning back in his chair. You nodded slowly and looked over at Mary.

“Wasn’t me.” Was all she had said.

“Ah, it was your friend, wasn’t it?” John’s eyebrows rose, clearly he had not expected you to put the pieces together. Mary only smiled, nodding, and then she looked over at John.

“She could absolutely keep up with him.”

You really had listened intently to the entire lunch conversation, but your mind was stuck on the idea of this friend. If he was such an intellect, it’d be nice to have some sort of challenge on your brain. It had been ages since there was any need to challenge you, and the thought of a challenge seemed very exciting.

“I want to meet him.” You stated and John sighed, balling up his napkin and throwing it onto his plate.

“Of course you do. Look what you’ve done, Mary.” He picked up the table’s trash, taking it up to the can.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to do.” Mary called after him, grinning. She turned to you, “Alright, time to prove a point to John. All else that we’re going to tell you about his friend is his name. It’s Sherlock. Sherlock Holmes.” You nodded and stood up as Mary did. “He lives right next door, so we’ll pop over there right now.”

“Excellent.” You smiled. John sighed, frowning at the pair of you before leading you all next door with 221B in golden letters on it. John opened the door, and gestured for you and Mary to walk through it.

An older woman walked out from a room beside the stairs that took up most of the opening room. “Oh, hello John! Hello Mary! It’s wonderful to see you again. He’s upstairs, I believe. Haven’t heard a thing from him all day.”

“Alright, Mrs. Hudson, thank you.” John smiled warmly at the woman, leading the way up the stairs. You followed him first, and then Mary followed him. The door at the top of the stairs was wide open, and the three of you walked right into the flat.

The living room appeared to be most certainly lived in. There were papers thrown everywhere. Two chairs were sat across from each other in front of the fireplace, two desks and two chairs were against the far wall, and a man occupied a couch in the far right against the wall. At first glance, the man appeared to be asleep, but upon further inspection, you could see that he wasn’t asleep at all. His eyes were moving wild about even though his eyelids were closed.

“Sherlock.” John called out, kicking the couch with his foot. The man, Sherlock, didn’t even budge. John sighed, “He’s in his ‘mind palace,’ and he does this. Every time. Sherlock!” John called out again, kicking the couch harder.

“What, John?” Sherlock bolted straight up, eyes focusing on John. “I’m very busy right n- Oh, hello Mary. Lovely to see you.” Sherlock nodded at her. “Now, what is going on, John?” He seemed to not even notice your presence, which caused you to let out a bit of a laugh. Then his eyes trailed over to you, and he grinned. “Did you get me a case?”

“No, Sherlock. This is (Y/N), Mary’s friend. Potential roommate for you.” John introduced.

Sherlock didn’t give you another glance; he stood up, pressing his robe around him tighter, “Not interested. Thank you for the inquiry though, Mary.” John gave Mary a look as if it was an I-Told-You-So.

“You’re Sherlock Holmes. You’re smart, and you know it. The only people that you really believe in are yourself and the two people standing in front of you.” Sherlock had turned back to look at you, eyes narrowed, Mary was smirking, and John had a dumbfounded look on his face. You continued on, “And really, you don’t even believe in Mary that much. This is mostly because Mary had lied to John, but also because she had shot you. Now let’s go back to your brain. Judging by your ‘mind palace,’ you have a job that requires you to remember a lot. I’d say that you were a doctor of some kind, but why would you be that when you have your own personal one as a best friend? You’re not. You’re a detective, and you’re on a case right now. By the lack of sleep shown under your eyes and the drained color of your face, I’d say that you’re having a bit of trouble figuring it out. You don’t sleep, you don’t eat, and you don’t drink because it’d take your attention away from the case that your.. What is it? Brother?” You sat down on the black chair’s arm, looking at Sherlock. He merely pursed his lips, causing you to smile. “Ah, it’s your big brother. Interesting. He gave you a case, and you can’t have him bothering you about it again. You really can’t have him bothering you about it because then you would become even more stressed which could lead you to falling back on the nicotine patches you use. But you can’t fall back on them because you’re out of them, and you can’t leave the flat to buy more because that’d mean that your attention would be away from the case.” You finished your sentence and then looked at Mary, smiling. “That felt great.”

“That would have been a fairly decent deduction if it wasn’t filled with the information that John and Mary had told you about me.” Sherlock spoke first, still sitting on the couch.

“Sherlock, we didn’t tell her any of that.” John let out a breath and a bit of a laugh.

Sherlock waved John off, “Of course you did. No one could be that clever to figure it all out, except me.”

“That’s the great thing about this though, Sherlock. She is that clever.” Mary smiled at you, taking a seat next to Sherlock. Sherlock’s eyes trailed over to you again. He stared at you and you matched his gaze. His eyes began to shift across your body then, and you moved, falling back into the chair, thus breaking his concentration. He looked back up at your face.

You smirked, deciding to flirt a bit, “Deduce me out loud, Mr. Holmes.”


	2. Drumming Song

Sherlock rolled his eyes at your remark, standing up from his seat on the couch. “If you want to play the game, you’re going to lose.”

“I’m not counting on that. In fact, let’s make it a bit more interesting, this game,” you sat up properly in the black chair, crossing your legs, “if you’re able to make more deductions about me than I you, you don’t have to live in the flat. If you don’t, I do get to live here, no questions asked.” Sherlock took off his robe, throwing it so it landed on the back of the desk chair next to you. He rolled up his white dress shirtsleeves, considering his options.

Mary let out a quiet sigh, “Oh, come off it, Sherlock. You need to play the game.” John took a seat next to Mary on the couch, crossing his legs and leaning back. Sherlock glanced over at John, seeing what he thought.

John shrugged, “Don’t have much to lose. Go on and play.” John chuckled a bit at the smirk on your face as you stared at Sherlock’s back. And the smirk stayed on your face as Sherlock stood in front of you, surveying you entirely. He leaned onto the black chair’s arms, keeping his distance from you, but staring at you with intensity that you didn’t dare match. You simply just continued to look at his eyes as they swept over you, collecting as much information as they could. Then, Sherlock’s eyes met yours as he began to speak.

“(Y/N), is it? Well, due to your employment history with Mary, you were some kind of assassin. Your shoes are worn down, meaning that you’ve done an awful lot of work in them. The fact that they’re mostly worn down by the balls of your feet means that you’ve done a lot of running with them. Perhaps because you wore them while you were at your job. Your outfit further suggests that you were on an airplane for a very long time before coming here.” Sherlock’s fingers went under your chin, tilting your head closer to the light so he could further inspect you. “Let’s not forget to mention that your own face is pale as well, meaning that you came from somewhere where sun isn’t out of abundance. With this, we both know that you were coming over from somewhere in the United States, New York, by the look of how tired you are. Now, if you don’t mind, we’ll go back around to your job with Mary. Your ability to deduce means that you were fairly good at your job, and the fact that John suggested you work with him at Bart’s means that you had something to do with medicine. Wait, how do you know that, Sherlock?” The man leaning over you mimicked your voice before continuing, “Because you’re obvious to figure out, and it was actually quite boring. I win.” Sherlock began to straighten himself up, looking a bit smug and pleased with himself. Quickly, you reached up and grabbed his arms, pulling him back down to you.

You leaned your face to the ear away from John and Mary, and began to whisper, “Your pupils gave you away, Sherlock. You’re interested in me. You’re wondering how I was able to deduce you down so much. You’re wondering why I’m here. You’re wondering why I am interested in you. You were trying to show off to your friends just then, but you and I both know that you didn’t play the game well enough. I win.” You released Sherlock’s arms, allowing him to straighten up as he looked down at you, his facial expression guarded. You stood up from the chair, patting Sherlock’s chest as you looked at Mary, smiling, “Mary, would you unlock your car so I can get my luggage, please? I need to bring it in.”

Mary nodded her head, opening her hand to John so he would give her the keys, which he did with a dumbfounded look on his face. Mary led the both of you out of the above apartment and onto the sidewalk outside the house.

Once outside, Mary let out a laugh, and you followed in suit. “You crushed him, (Y/N). That was brilliant. Simply amazing.”

You nodded your head, shrugging a bit as you opened the back of the car, “I do what I can.”

Sherlock’s POV

As soon as the ladies left the apartment, John pounced on me, asking questions.

“Sherlock, what did she say to you? How is she moving in? You said that you won.” John left an emphasis on the last word, and I pursed my lips, walking to the window. Pulling the curtain away to look at Mary and (Y/N) on the street. They were sharing a laugh behind Mary and John’s automobile. “Sherlock, answer me.”

“John, it happened again.”

“What happened?”

“I couldn’t read her. I was only able to tell those things based on her clothes and what had already been said. I don’t understand why, it doesn’t make sense.” The words rushed out as my mind began to work even faster.

John had stood up now too, looking at the information behind the couch now, “Well, maybe it’s because of the case, or the withdrawal from the patches..” He mumbled the last bit.

I shook my head, “No. It isn’t that.”

“The Woman. That’s what you meant.” John finally had caught on to what I said earlier.

“Obviously. Now,” I walked back over to my black chair across from John’s old one and sat down on it. The heat from (Y/N)’s body was still there, and it ruined my concentration for a moment. Tapping my fingers against the arms, “Well, I think it’s necessary to open the door to your old room now, seeing as to (Y/N) is going to be occupying it now.” I stood up, walking towards the room.

“What? You’re actually going to let her stay?” John asked, clearly surprised. He had followed me, pausing in the kitchen.

I opened the door, turning back to John and shrugging, “Seems I have to, since she won the game. Anyways, I could do with a bit of entertainment now… Not to mention, I’ve go to figure her out.” I mumbled the last bit so that way John wouldn’t be able to hear me. Walking back into the kitchen, I picked up the kettle, “Will you and Mary be staying a bit longer for tea?”

John sighed, nodding, and sitting at the head of the table, “Probably. I’m sure she’ll want to help (Y/N) put away her things..” I put the kettle on the stove once I had filled it with water, turning on the stove, I heard John begin to laugh.

“What is it?” I asked, turning back to him.

John sighed, looking up at me, “There’s going to be two sociopaths living under the same roof. God help England.”

“Well, I can’t say about that happening, but I’m sure Mycroft might help.” I smiled a bit as John laughed.

Mary walked into the room, carrying a small bag, “Well, I’m glad you two are laughing and aren’t hurt over your loss.” Mary smiled; ruffling my hair as she walked by me and into (Y/N)’s new room. (Y/N) followed in quietly, nodding and smiling a bit to both John and I as she walked by, carrying two suitcases into the room. “Oh John, will you tell (Y/N) that I am most certainly able to carry a large suitcase a short distance, even though I’m pregnant?”

“No, Mary, because you’re not supposed to carry heavy things this late in your pregnancy.” John stated, and (Y/N)’s voice carried out into the kitchen, an “I told you so.” As the kettle began to whistle, I walked over to my violin, picking its bow and itself up. “Oh sure, Sherlock, I’ve got it.” John said it sarcastically as he picked the mugs out of cabinet, taking the kettle off its burner. Mary and (Y/N) walked out into the kitchen, taking a seat around the table. I stood in front of the window and began to play, looking out onto the London streets.

—-  
Normal POV

As night approached Baker’s Street, you had taken a seat in, what John told you, was his old seat and began reading a novel that Sherlock had laying around the flat. John and Mary had left nearly two hours ago now, and Sherlock was still continuing to play his violin. With the warmth of the fire coming from the fireplace and the soft music coming from Sherlock’s violin, you could feel yourself begin to drift off to sleep. Just as you were about to sleep, Sherlock spoke and startled you.

“Where did John and Mary go?” He asked, lowering his violin from his chin and peering down at you. The fire reflected in his eyes and you smiled a bit, closing your book and stretching.

“They said you did that, when they left two hours ago.”

“Ah, so they’ve left already…” Sherlock narrowed his eyes at you, “Why are you wearing my jumper?”

You looked down at the blue jumper you were wearing; it almost nearly covered your hands. “Oh, I couldn’t find one of my own, and this one was hanging in the “bathroom, so…” You trailed off, feeling that further explanation was unnecessary. Sherlock nodded, murmuring a quiet ‘oh.’ “Yes, and I used a bit of your shampoo too, but tomorrow I’ll be going to the store to get my own.”

“I will accompany you then. You pointed out earlier that I’m in need of nicotine patches, and there will be a case tomorrow that you will accompany on. Since you wore my jumper.” Sherlock attempted to play his violin again, but then noticed your raised eyebrow at him. He rolled his eyes, groaning, “What is it?”

“You really expect me to just go and help you tomorrow?”

“Well, if you’re going to wear my jumper and use my soaps, yes.” The detective said, exasperated.

It was your turn to roll your eyes, standing up with the blankets wrapped around your shoulders. “Good night, Sherlock.” You walked into your new room, crawling into the bed.

Meanwhile, Sherlock began to play his violin again as he watched your door close. He waited a few moments until he was sure that you were staying in your room, before putting his violin down again and sitting at his computer. He wiggled his fingers, entered his password, and then pulled up the internet.

“Time to solve your mystery, (Y/N).”


	3. The First Time

When you awoke the following morning, you shuffled into the kitchen, filling the kettle and putting it on the stove. Yawning, you looked out into the living room, expecting to see Sherlock walking about and rambling about missing body pieces or God knows what; however, there was no sign of his presence. Stepping out into the empty room, you discovered that Sherlock’s coat was gone from where it had been yesterday.

“Hopefully he went to see John,” you murmured to yourself as you poured the hot water from the kettle into your mug, watching it turn a darker color, “and then maybe he’ll forget about wanting me on some case.” You perked up a bit as that realization hit you. Taking a drink of your tea, you walked back into your room and opened your suitcase containing most of your clothes.

You set your mug down at your bedside, and started to put the clothes into drawers and your closet.

Once you had finished, you walked into your closet once again. Tapping your fingers on your lips, you contemplated what you were going to do today, therefore thinking of what you were going to wear.

“Well, I’m going to need more clothes.” You stated out loud, fingers tracing over the small amount of clothing you had in your possession. “However, in order to get more clothes, I’m going to have to go over to Bart’s.. Talk to John about that job. I still need to go to the store as well,” you looked down at yourself; rubbing Sherlock’s jumper sleeves in between your fingers, “don’t need everyone I meet today to think I’m shagging Sherlock. Don’t need to smell like him.” To make a good impression at Bart’s, you decided on wearing a combination of layers: a purple jumper over a white collared shirt, allowing the collar to show over the top of the jumper. You simply wore a pair of dark jeans and stuck with tennis shoes to complete your outfit.

After you had really completed getting ready (brushing your teeth, hair), you grabbed your coat and purse, and then left the flat. A faint drizzle of rain had just begun, so you pulled the cloth hood over your head, walking down the street to head into the nearest store. You stopped when you had reached the store you were looking for, walking in, you began searching for new pieces of clothing that you could add to your wardrobe.

Once you had decided on a couple of blouses and a blue lace dress (you didn’t have any real reason to wear it, but when in London…), you bought the pieces and then moved on to the next shop to purchase your shampoos and soaps. You knew exactly what you were looking for, so this part of the trip had not taken all that much of your time. Halfway through the processing of actually purchasing those things, you received a call from Sherlock. Slightly confused, you answered your mobile.

“Sherlock? How’d you get your number into my phone?” You asked, knowing that he wouldn’t be offended by you not saying a hello.

“I did it while you were sleeping last night. That detail is unimportant. I need you to come to a crime scene. I’ll send you the add-“ Sherlock spoke quickly, and you had to talk loudly to interject him as you walked back out onto the sidewalk.

“I told you that I wasn’t going to be helping you. I precisely remember saying that.”

“Once again, unimportant details. Please stop wasting my time, (Y/N).”

“No, Sherlock, I need you to not waste my time. I’m going over to Bart’s to be hired.”

“The body is going to be transported there anyway. I’ll just speed up the process of it getting there. I’ll talk to Lestrade.”

“You couldn’t get John to consult for you?”

“Obviously not if I’m bothering myself with talking to you.”

You rolled your eyes and wished that he were standing in front of you to see it. Sensing that you were getting nowhere, you reluctantly agreed, “Fine then. I’ll be there soon. You better hope it’s interesting.”

“Once again: obvious. If I’m interested, I’m sure you will be too.” With that, Sherlock hung up his phone, leaving you to let out a sigh of frustration. Stepping out closer to the street, you raised an arm to get the attention of a cab driver. A black cab stopped by you, and you stepped in.

“St. Bart’s Hospital, please.” You stated, the cab driver made a slight grunt and pulled away from the curb in the direction of the hospital.

A few minutes in the cab passed, and then the cab stopped in front of the hospital. You paid the cab driver, took up your bags again, and exited the cab. The sky above the hospital still looked fairly bleak, as if it the floodgates of the Heaven would open at any second. You pulled your collar closer to your neck and walked quickly into the hospital.

You smiled at the receptionist, a middle aged, brown haired woman, “Hello, could you point me in the directio-“ You were cut off as a arm slipped through yours, pulling you away from the woman.

“Your assistance will not be necessary, Leslie.” A deep voice carried out, pulling you towards a door leading to an empty hallway.

“It’s Lisa.” Was all the receptionist, Lisa, said in response.

You looked up at Sherlock, noticing that his curls were askew and he had even darker patches underneath his eyes. “You really should get some sleep sometime.”

“It’s unnecessary. Distracts me.” Sherlock said as he pushed the double doors of the empty hallway. There was a deep chill in the hallway that made you shiver a bit, and you unconsciously leaned into the detective a bit more. “What’re you doing?”

Noticing your closeness to the man, you backed off a bit, “’S cold.”

“Typically when you’re in the morgue it is.”

“Well, I knew that. I was just sa- I’m not going to argue.”

“Probably for the best.”

You ignored his comment, continuing on, “Why’d you need me?”

“Need to see if you’re really clever as you say you are.” Sherlock pushed open the door to the actual morgue where a brunette haired woman stood next to a human body on a metal slab. “He’s just been brought in. Murdered, no murder weapon.”

You smiled a bit, excited to get to work. You slipped your arm out of Sherlock’s grasp, taking your coat off and tossing it to him. He caught it and raised an eyebrow at you.

“Well hang it up then!” You exclaimed, clapping your hands together once and rolling up your sleeves. Sherlock muttered something under his breath, clearly frustrated with your attitude. You looked to the other woman in the room, raising a hand out for her to shake, “Hello, I’m (Y/N).”

The woman smiled, shaking your hand, “Pleasure, (Y/N). I’m Molly. Molly Hooper. I usually help Sherlock with his cases.” You nodded, turning to the body now.

“Alright, Molly, Sherl, - oo, I like that nickname, sounds a bit like the girl which is fairly fitting to you.” You smirked at Sherlock to where he stood across the metal slab. Once again he rolled his eyes.

“Hilarious. Will you get started now?”

“Obviously.” You mimicked his tone from earlier, earning a snicker from Molly. You smiled at her, “I appreciate your humor, Molly. Someone’s got to have one. Now, let’s get started. I need you to back up, please.” Sherlock and Molly both listened, backing up and allowing you to walk around the body, inspecting it.

The victim was a young male, perhaps in his mid twenties. There were no signs of obvious trauma nor struggle. You checked his abdomen to see if had swelled any, and discovered that it had not swelled at all. You then checked his neck to ensure it was all still intact, which the bottom was, but the top had not been.

“Sherlock, will you help me turn him on his side?” You didn’t look up from the man, your fingers tracing his hairline. Sherlock approached the body, put his hands on the side closest to you, and adjusted the victim to lay on his side. Sherlock and Molly were both watching you intently to see your next move. You pushed the male’s hairline up slightly, when you noticed a very small wound. Pushing the hair that covered it away, you further inspected it. Looking closely, you realized what had happened and looked up at Sherlock, saying simply, “His spinal cord was cut. The reason why you couldn’t find the murder weapon was because it was the size of a pin.” You helped Sherlock ease the body back to lie flat down. You frowned a bit, taking off your gloves, “What case does it have to do with?”

“This man was found in the university library. There was nothing around him, no entirely obvious details that related to the case. He simply was a university student.” Sherlock rattled off the facts, looking off into nothing.

“Well how do you know it was a murder then?”

“Someone had left a note.”

“May I see it?”

“It’s at the police station.”

“Well, we better catch a cab then.” You walked over to the coat rack, slipping it on. Sherlock looked up at you, confused. “You need to sleep, Sherlock. Two pairs of eyes can help you get to that faster.” You nodded to Molly, smiling a bit, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Molly.” Sherlock grabbed his coat as well, already leaving the room.

“Likewise, (Y/N).” Molly reflected your smile, eyes trailing after Sherlock.

“I’ll be saying goodbye for the both of us then.” You laughed a bit, and Molly nodded, beginning to put the body back into its holder. You followed behind Sherlock, eager to get to the police station to inspect the evidence left behind.


	4. Have Faith In Me

You murmured a quiet thank you to Sherlock as he held the entrance door to the police station for you. He merely nodded in response, following behind you, then leading you down the hallway you hoped would take you to the evidence locker. Sherlock had been oddly quiet the whole way there, but you figured it was just because he was still trying to piece together the case. At the end of the hall, a man in a black jacket with a black striped white-collar shirt stood to greet you and Holmes.

When you and Sherlock were closer, Sherlock gestured behind him to you, “Geoff Lestrade the DI, (Y/N). (Y/N), Geoff Lestrade the DI.” With that, Sherlock pushed into the evidence room, allowing the door to shut behind him.

“It’s actually Greg, and you’re actually much nicer to look at than him.” Greg grinned at you, opening the door for you. You laughed quietly, nodding thanks as you passed Greg into the room. Lying before you was a table full of photographs, papers, and pieces of “evidence” that had been taken from the library. Sherlock had put on black leather gloves, and he was inspecting something in his hand. Notcing that you were now in the room, he held the narrow object out to you once you had put on a pair of rubber gloves. You took the object, inspecting it yourself. It was the pin.

“You were right. Murder weapon.” Sherlock stated, moving around the table to now look at the stacks of papers.

You nodded, “I know I was. You’re just the one who had to make sure. Have a little faith, Holmes.”

You placed the pin onto the table. Noticing the chalkboard with pictures of potential suspects, you stepped closer, inspecting each person. “Greg, what was the roommate studying?”

“Medicine. He was in his third year. Why?” Greg asked, standing beside you now.

“Because he’s the one who murdered him.” You began taking off your gloves, fairly pleased with yourself. Sherlock then came to stand next to you now, looking at the murderer.

“How do you figure?” He asked.

“The roommate knows where the victim’s hairline is because of he is the one who had to see the victim everyday. Not only that, but he is the one who would cut the victim’s hair. Steady hands, steady doctor, steady hairdresser.” You tossed your gloves into the waste bin, continuing, “’But why does it matter if he’s studying medicine?’ Med students are taught how to save a life, they are taught where not to cut in order to not kill their patients.”

Sherlock picked up where you had left off, “And since he was a med student, he knew that issuing the wound in the hairline would not only splice the cord, it wouldn’t make a mess. Not only would the cut not make a mess, it would make it look like he had died of a heart defect or something similar. He’d be able to get away with the murder..” Sherlock trailed off, turning around to you, nodding his approval, “Nice work.”

“Thank you,” You grinned, “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

Sherlock turned to Lestrade next; “I trust that you won’t be needing our assistance any longer tonight. I’m sure you can handle the arrest.” Lestrade only nodded, beginning to pick up his cellphone to call the squad to make the arrest. “Very well then, goodnight, Gabe.”

You smiled sympathetically at Greg as Sherlock walked out of the room, “We’ll work on it.” You jogged a bit to catch up to Sherlock, who had already made it outside and held a cab door open for you. You climbed in, Sherlock closed the door, and went around to the other side to get in. Once had slid in, you asked, “So, Speedy’s for dinner?”

Sherlock grinned slightly, “John told you of my eating habits?”

You nodded, “Oh yes. He made sure I knew, since he isn’t around as much to save you from accidentally starving yourself.” You mimicked John’s voice, “’Now (Y/N), Sherlock doesn’t tend to eat during cases, so you’re going to have to force him like a child.”

“That’s fairly accurate.”

“That’s because it was what he said. So, Speedy’s? I’m a bit of a rubbish cook as of now, but I’m very good at getting low prices.”

“What? They didn’t give you cooking classes while you were becoming an assassin?”

“’Fraid not.” The two of you shared a grin before getting out of the cab in front of 221B. As you paid the cab driver, you heard a groan from Sherlock. “What is it, Holmes?”

“My brother’s here.” He muttered, misaligning the knocker as he led the way through the doorstep.

“Oh God, there are two of you?” You asked, climbing the stairs after Sherlock.

“Yes. Mother stopped after me, knowing that another would bring down the entirety of England and that I would be the best.” He smiled a bit behind you before walking into the living room.

“Oh brother mine, you know that is no where near being the truth.” A voice sauntered into your ears, making your eyebrows raise a bit. Sherlock only rolled his eyes. Standing before the two of you was a man in a tan suit, leaning against a black umbrella.

“(Y/N), this is Mycroft Holmes, my brother.” Sherlock gestured to the man, “Mycroft, this is (Y/N), my flatmate. Play nice –“

“Oh, I fully intend to.” Mycroft stated, looking smug.

“I was talking to her.” Sherlock nodded to you, taking off his coat and throwing it across the back of the couch before going to sit down in his black leather chair.

“I control the entirety of England,” Mycroft spoke, spinning his umbrella on its head, “And I think it’s time you left.”

You raised your eyebrows up higher, scoffing a bit, “Is that supposed to scare me?” As you gave him a once over, you took off your coat, pressed it into Mycroft’s hands, and sat on your side of the desk, opening your laptop and busying yourself with that. Glancing up once, you saw the amused look on Sherlock’s face, and you leaned back in your chair, getting comfortable.

“You really need to work on your choice of companionship, Sherlock.” You could practically hear the glare the older Holmes was giving you as he tossed your coat off to the side, “You couldn’t find anyone better to replace John?”

“Don’t just throw (Y/N)’s coat like that Mycroft, that’s rude. Mother would be horrified at your manners toward such a brilliant woman.” Sherlock scolded his brother, picking up his violin and plucking at its strings. You smiled a bit at your screen as Sherlock defended you (somewhat, but still, he did defend you).

“Speaking of mother, she and father will just absolutely love hearing this, that you’re living with a woman again. Of course, there was Jeanine, but I don’t believe she counts since it was all fake.”

“I reckon she counts just as much as any of the women that you have made an attempt to woo.”

“Ah, but at least I was able to woo them, little brother. Have you even appreciated a woman yet in her full glory?”

You felt your eyes widen as Mycroft asked his question, and as you glanced up at Sherlock, you saw that he didn’t even appear to be phased by the question. This made your cheeks heat up a bit more as your eyes moved back to your screen.

“(Y/N), why don’t you run and grab dinner now?” Sherlock’s soft voice penetrated your eardrums.

You nodded immediately, grabbing your purse and making your exit, “Yeah, ‘course.” You quickly rushed down the stairs, desperate to put distance between you and that conversation. Pulling the door closed to 221B, and turning a bit to walk into Speedy’s, you began to calm down.

Meanwhile, Sherlock and Mycroft completely changed their conversation as soon as they heard the door shut.

“Did you get anything off of her?” Sherlock asked, standing up to look out the window at you as you entered the restaurant.

“Nothing other than a strong repulse towards me.” Mycroft stated, bemused himself, but amused nonetheless, “You always get the best toys to play with, little brother.“

“And you, big brother, are always proving to be a lack of help.”

“When have you ever asked me for assistance?”

“Never. Thank you for reminding me why I don’t.” Sherlock turned back to his brother, “So you’ll look into her more?”

Mycroft nodded, heading towards the door, “I will begin the research as soon as I return to my office. If I learn anything, I will be sure to know. And Sherlock,” he turned back to his brother, meeting his eyes, “do tell me that you’re going to keep (Y/N) around. She’s very entertaining.”

“I’ll do my best. Goodbye, now.”

“Goodbye, Sherlock.” The older Holmes exited the flat, and the younger Holmes watched as he climbed into a black car that darted away from Bakers Street. Sitting back down in his chair, he placed his hands together in a prayer position, and closed his eyes, entering his mind palace.

A few minutes later, you reentered the flat, carrying two white foam boxes of food.

“Holmes, you should’ve seen this man at the restaurant. The saddest thing, he tried to flirt, and dear God, I couldn’t get the food fast enough. He kept hinting towards going back to his place to share the meal, and I just about had to say that I were getting this food for a boyfriend until he got distracted by an absolute blonde bim- Why are you staring at me like that?” You asked, realizing Sherlock had been staring at you with the utmost concentration as you laid out the silverware.

“Would you like to solve crimes with me?” He asked, standing up to take a seat in front of his laptop, and then proceeded to open the box of food.

You squinted at the detective, “That’s why you were staring at me?” “I needed to get your attention somehow. You were just rambling about that idiot.”

“And you weren’t listening to me.”

“I listened a bit; I got the gist of it – idiot trying to lure you back to his flat. Would’ve been dreadful. You didn’t give me an answer.”

You contemplated your options, sitting across from Sherlock and opening your own box. You shrugged, “Sure, why not.”

“I can think of plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t.”

“Oh, shut up and eat, you sociopath.”

"Don’t tell me what to do, woman.” Sherlock responded, eating a chip. You looked up at him, amused. “Yeah, I couldn’t think of anything better. Don’t say anything, I’m eating.” You rolled your eyes at how childish he sounded, a smile on your face as you began to eat as well.

Your conversation drifted to the cases he had seen, and you both read the things he and John had witnessed on his blog, both enjoying the meal (and the company, though neither one of you would actually admit to that) that the two of you shared.


	5. Down

You cracked your neck, sighing a bit as the relief of the hot water washed over your body. You and Sherlock had just returned back to the flat from a case hours ago, and you decided to take the opportunity to take a moment to relax. It had been nearly three weeks since you agreed to solve cases with Sherlock, and you had begun to feel the strain of it on your body. Just as you began rubbing at the kinks in your shoulder, you heard the bathroom door open and close.

You let out a groan and put your head against the shower wall, “Sherlock, we’ve talked about this.”

“Did we? I don’t remember, anyways,” You heard the soft clink that came when someone sat on the toilet seat, “I’m bored, (Y/N).”

“We honestly just finished a case, Sherlock. How can you be bored already?”

“The mind of a sociopath never rests.”

“Probably doesn’t help that you’re going through withdrawals, either.”

“I prefer not to talk of that aspect. Now, let’s play murder.”

You rolled your eyes, turning off the water. You put your hand outside of the curtain, shaking it a bit, “Towel, please.”

“You just got into the shower, why are you already getting out?” Sherlock asked, puzzled.

“Because it seems that I’m not going to be able to relax as I originally planned. Now,” you shook your hand again, “Towel.” Sherlock tossed a towel to you, and you grabbed it, wrapping it tightly around your body before stepping out into the bathroom. “Now, do you want to go first?”

Sherlock had changed into his blue pyjama bottoms and a white shirt, his blue dressing gown hanging around himself loosely as he leaned forward. He nodded towards you, “Ladies first.”

“Easy. You.” Sherlock looked a bit confused as you spoke, but you continued to stand in front of him, “While you were in your mind palace, because you only pay attention to your,” you tapped on his temples as you said the words, “in your pretty little mind.” Sherlock nodded, contemplating.

“Well done.” Sherlock finally spoke, looking up at you. You nodded as a way of saying thank you, making your way out and into your bedroom. You heard Sherlock following behind you, so you closed the door as soon as you crossed the threshold to your room. Sherlock began to open the door, but you pressed it closed firmly.

“Just give me a couple seconds, Holmes.” You felt Sherlock move away from the door as you spoke, “It’s your turn anyways.” Putting on the clothes you had laid out on your bed (dark blue jeans, a yellow blouse), you listened to Sherlock’s suggestion.

“Molly Hooper. Poison. Give her a kiss.” You heard Sherlock chuckle a bit, quietly, “She’d die happy then, wouldn’t she?”

You pulled open your door, frowning at him, “That’s terrible.”

His eyebrows rose, “Is it? I forget that can happen.” You watched as Sherlock’s eyes browsed over you, he rolled his eyes, “What are you wearing? You said you wanted to relax.” When you picked up your purse, Sherlock sighed, “Another one? Another date? You’re clearly not interested.”

“I am interested.”

“That’s not what your outfit of choice says.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. Your jeans say that it’s casual; however, you’ve been on casual dates before and you’ve always worn at least black pants. A blouse? No, you wear sweaters, or when you do wear a blouse, you wear a cardigan over it.” You watched as Sherlock then turned and walked down the hallway to the living room, and then you followed him, narrowing your eyes.

“Since when do you pay attention to what I wear?”

“Oh, please, (Y/N),” Sherlock sat down in his chair, placing his hands underneath his chin in a prayer-posture, “I’m a detective. It’s what I do. You’re a great distraction.”

You shook your head, sitting on the opposite chair’s arm, staring at Sherlock, “There’s something else.”

“There is nothing else. You’re just a distraction, nothing more.” Sherlock’s eyes moved away from you, clearly finished talking; however, you pressed on.

“Do you miss John? I can call him and Mary over here before I le-“

“I do not miss John.”

“I think you do, here, I’ll call him.” You took out your phone, beginning to type in John’s number.

“(Y/N), I do not miss John!” Sherlock shouted, standing up from his seat. The outburst did frighten you a bit, but you didn’t dare show it. Sherlock moved to the window, putting his arms behind his back as he looked out the window.

Looking over at the detective, you raised an eyebrow, talking quietly, “Where are they?”

“I’m sorry?” Sherlock asked incredulously, turning to face you.

“Sherlock, don’t do that. Don’t try and act all innocent or completely oblivious. You know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m afraid I really don’t. I can’t think of what you’re thinking of.”

You went and stood in front of Sherlock, narrowing your eyes once again as you began to make your deductions, “First of all, you are the one who made it clear that we do not walk into the bathroom while the other is in the shower. Second, I’ve walked around in a towel in the flat dozens of times before, every normal time, you have scolded or freaked out on me for doing so. Third, you have never, ever cared about me going on a date before. And last,” you sighed, brushing Sherlock’s hair from his ice blue eyes, “your pupils are dilated and your eyes are red. You can’t do this to yourself, Sherlock. You’re too good at what you do to hurt your mind.”

Sherlock then took your face in his hands, eyes refocusing on a new piece of your face every second. You felt your face flush as he began to speak, “And yet, this mind can’t figure you out. How beautiful or wonderful could my mind be if it can’t figure out one single woman? And yet,” Sherlock’s faced moved closer to yours, “Your mind is able to do so much. Your mind is beautiful, (Y/N). Absolutely, undoubtedly beautiful. You realized that all in a manner of minutes; you had me figured out in less than that. I knew that you were going on a date because of your outfit, yes, and I said that you weren’t interested because I don’t want to share your mind with anyone else. I don’t want you to waste your time on others, because it’s wonderful knowing someone who’s brain works at the same pace as mine.” Sherlock’s face began to move closer to yours, and you could feel his hot breath fall across your lips.

You put your hand against his jaw to stop him from moving closer. “You’re just saying this because you’re high.” You smiled a bit, slightly amused.

“There’s a good probability that’s the reason, yes.”

“You are such an arse when you’re high, dear God.” You turned his head to the side slightly, reaching up to kiss his cheek once. You then pulled back from Sherlock, walking down the hallway and dialing a number on your phone.

“What are you doing?” Sherlock called.

“Well, Mr. Holmes, it would see that I’m going to have to wait for you to come back down and rejoin the world. We’re going to have to have a bit of a talk about what you just tried to do, if you can even remember it.” You turned, smiling at him as you opened the door to your room, your phone pressed against your ear. “I’ll have to cancel my date and change into some pyjama pants.” Sherlock had a slight smile on his face, and you laughed a bit, “Oh, don’t look so happy, Mr. Holmes. I’m calling a doctor; you’re going to have a bit of explaining to do.” You laughed again as Sherlock’s face fell and he curled up in his chair, resting his head on the arm of it and obviously pouting. You walked into your room then, mind whirling, only one though running through your mind.

Sherlock Holmes was going to kiss me.


	6. Look After You

“Are you serious, Sherlock? You are the most ridiculous, most.. most.. “ John couldn’t seem to find the correct word to describe his best friend, so he continued on, “Why did you do it, Sherlock? Why?”

Sherlock had been staring off into the kitchen, watching as Molly and Lestrade pulled apart the kitchen in search of Sherlock’s dru gs. “Do not touch that, Lestrade!” Sherlock exclaimed as Lestrade began to move a jar of pinkies.

Lestrade put his hands up in a surrender, “Pinky promise I won’t.” Overhearing Lestrade’s joke, you and Mary both snorted. Sherlock’s glare fell upon you then.

“What? It was funny!” Mary grinned at Sherlock, and you stuck your tongue out at him. Sherlock made a face at you, turning his attention back to the flustered doctor in front of him.

“What were you saying, John?” Sherlock’s movements were becoming a bit more frantic as his high began to waver. His fingers were now drumming against his armchair. “Ah yes, you should accompany me to my bedroom now.” Sherlock then quickly left his chair, walking down to his room. John looked dumbfounded and glanced over at Mary and yourself, his finger pointing after Sherlock. “John, hurry along now!” The detective’s voice called from his room, and John rolled his eyes, walking into Sherlock’s room.

Mary then turned to you, “So you didn’t see him when he took the drugs?”

You shook your head, “No, I didn’t. I was in the shower when he must’ve done it, because he was just fine before I went in there.”

Mary nodded a bit, her hand absently rubbing over her belly, “And you two had just gotten back from a case?”

You nodded your head, “Yeah, just a few hours before. He seemed fairly interested in it as well, so I don’t really understand how he became bored so quickly.” Lestrade and Molly then walked up to the pair of you. Lestrade looked calm, and Molly looked a bit relieved. “Didn’t find anything, did you?”

“Not a thing. He must’ve only bought one, or he’s just found a better hiding place outside the flat that we can’t find.” Lestrade said, taking his gloves off.

“Nonetheless, I think you should watch him for a bit, (Y/N),” Molly suggested, “at least until we’re all sure that he doesn’t have any more.” You nodded, understanding. “Well, I’ve got to get back to the lab now. If there’s anything, call me?” Molly took of her gloves as well, picking up her coat as she began to leave.

“Yeah, I best be going to. Be sure to call if there’s anything, ladies.” Greg grinned at you, “Always a pleasure.”

You shook your head a bit, laughing, “It was good to see you, Greg. Have a good night, Molly!” You called after her as she left. Once Lestrade had closed the flat door, Mary patted your hand.

“You really should watch him for a bit, (Y/N). Just to be sure.”

You nodded your head, pulling your hand away from Mary’s to rub at your eyes, “Okay, Mary, I will.” The sound of a door opening echoed through the flat, and the sound of two pairs of steps followed. Sherlock came into view first, and he immediately fell into his chair, curling up on himself. John followed the detective, and looked expectantly at Mary.

“Ready to go?”

Mary raised an eyebrow at her husband, glancing over at Sherlock, “I suppose so.” Mary then began to hobble up off the couch, and John grasped her hands, assisting her.

John looked over at you then, as Mary started towards the door, “I’m trusting him with you. You call if anything happens.”

You nodded your head, opening the door for the couple, “I know, John. I’ll watch him as if he were a child.” John frowned at you a bit, and you sighed, “I’ll be sure to call you. I’ve got this.”

Mary tugged at her husband’s hand, “Alright. We’re leaving. Goodnight, Sherlock!” No sound came from Sherlock; he only shuffled a bit in his chair. His fingers waved a bit at them before falling back on his shoulder. John sighed a bit, but started out the door, gently pulling Mary along. “Goodnight, (Y/N).” Mary smiled a bit, and you nodded, closing the door behind them as they left. Turning around, you met Sherlock’s eyes as he looked over his shoulder at you.

You raised an eyebrow, “You okay?”

“Just as fine as you’d expect me to be.” Sherlock muttered, getting up out of his seat. He began to pace the space between his chair and the coffee table in front of the couch. You shrugged a bit, mumbling that it was better than nothing, and went into the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” You called out, glancing into the refrigerator.

“Absolutely not! And if I were, I would be able to make it myself, instead of relying on someone to make it like a child.” You rolled your eyes at Sherlock’s retort, closing the door of the fridge. You then went to your room, retrieved a blanket and a book, and then went back into the main living room. Taking a seat in the cloth chair, you put your feet upon Sherlock’s chair, and began to read your book. After a few minutes, you heard Sherlock’s footsteps stop and felt his gaze on the side of your face, “What are you doing?”

“Reading, keep up with it.”

“Obviously. But why are you out here? You never read out here.”

“It would seem that I’m on babysitting duty now.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m fully aware,” you glanced up at the man, “if only someone didn’t act like a ‘rebel’ teenage boy.” You grinned as Sherlock rolled his eyes at you, beginning to pace again.

“Oh please, I am not acting like a teenager.”

“Whatever you say, curls.” You murmured, returning to reading your book. Sherlock didn’t make any kind of comment, and you didn’t continue the conversation. The pair of you sat (or paced) in comfortable silence. As the minutes went by, you could feel your eyelids begin to fall. Eventually, you allowed them to fully close and fell asleep, your book resting on your chest.

-

You woke up to the sound of glass shattering. Jumping up out of the seat, your book fell to the ground and your blanket pooled around your ankles. You turned around to face the source of the sound, and watched Sherlock as he began to throw another piece of glass on the ground.

“There isn’t anymore!” Sherlock exclaimed as he threw a glass onto the ground. “I need.. I need..” The man walked towards his laptop quickly, throwing it open only to shut it again. He had yet to acknowledge that you had awoken. “Already checked that. All boring.” Sherlock’s voice took a higher octave as he mimicked one of the client’s voices, “Oh Mr. Holmes, I think my husband may be having an affair – well that’s because he is, you idiot.” Sherlock rounded towards the coffee table, standing on top of it as he began to drum his fingers against his forehead.

“Sherlock?”

“I could phone Mycroft. Actually, no, that’d only give me a headache. Don’t need one of those again, not now.”

“Sherlock.”

The detective then went to the fireplace, brushing past you. He began to pick up books, tossing them behind him as he glanced at them, “Boring. Boring. Horrendous. Boring. Boring.”

Tired of being ignored (and frankly tired of hearing his rambling), you placed a hand on Sherlock’s shoulder and pushed him so he would face you. Then, you grabbed him by the collar of his dressing gown and pulled him down to your height. You pressed your lips to his. As you kissed the famous detective, two thoughts ran through your mind.

He did eat something, and he didn’t bother to share it with me. The prick.

And

I’m kissing Sherlock Holmes.

You then let go of his collar, brushing it out, “There you go.” Sherlock kept his stance, his eyes staring at you, but not really looking out you. You raised an eyebrow at him, laughing a bit quietly. “That’s a bit weird, even for you, Sherlock.” You picked up your blanket and book, beginning to walk to your room, and scolding yourself for being such an idiot. Just before you stepped into the kitchen, you felt a hand at your elbow. Then you felt the hand turn you around to face its owner. Sherlock was now staring at you as if you were the most fascinating thing he had come across (and you thought briefly about whether or not you could fall into that category).

“Interesting.” Sherlock murmured, his hands going to the sides of your face once again. You had a moment of flashback as you felt Sherlock’s hot breath against your lips; however, this time you allowed them to move closer. As Sherlock’s lips met yours, you allowed your arms to travel around his neck, and Sherlock settled his hands upon your waist. Your blanket and book lay upon the floor, forgotten, until they made the perfect stepstool as Sherlock pulled you closer.

When your lungs began to burn for oxygen, Sherlock pulled back away from the kiss. Eyes looking upon your face, you watched as a bit of a smile began to form on his face. “Pupils dilated. Tinted cheeks… “ Sherlock’s eyes fell upon your lips, “swollen lips. I’d say you enjoyed that.”

You grinned at Sherlock, biting down on your bottom lip a bit, “I’m not entirely sure, detective. I think you may need to run some more tests.”

Sherlock chuckled, hands pulling you a bit closer, “I suppose, for science, I could make the sacrifice.”

“For science.” You agreed.


	7. No Words

“So we agree to not tell John and Mary, not allow it to take part in the work, and it can only leave the flat subtly.” You sat with your legs crossed across from Sherlock; the detective was sitting almost identically to you, except he had his arms across the arms of the chair, fingers tapping against the sides. His hands stopped as you said the last parts of your agreement.

“We agreed it’d stay within the flat.”

“No, you said it’d stay within the flat. I didn’t agree to anything.”

“You agreed to the first two conditions.”

“Because those seem reasonable. Sherlock, if we’re going to do this, we can at least do it subtly.”

Sherlock shrugged a bit, picking up his violin and beginning to pluck at the strings, “Fine then.”

You laughed a bit, rolling your eyes, “Is it always going to be like this?”

“It’s possible.” Sherlock stood up then, picking up the bow of his violin. Seeing your glare, Sherlock grinned a bit, winking, “I’ll be good.”

“Mmm, you better be, detective.” You smirked at him.

It was the morning after the kiss you and Sherlock had shared. You had gone to bed giddy with happiness, and when you woke up, the giddiness was still there, but with a little bit of hesitation. After all, Sherlock was not one to typically show human affection, so it was all too possible last night could have been a fluke. When you entered the living room the next morning, however, it was an entirely different story. Sherlock immediately sat you down, explaining the terms of the relationship you two were to have. You agreed, changing only the last term.

Considering the circumstances, the terms were pretty reasonable. John and Mary would most likely lose their minds over the thought of you and the famous detective being an actual couple. Having relationship problems interfere with the work would prove to be disastrous. You only changed the last term because you liked the idea of the thrill of hiding.

You stood up from the chair, moving towards the front of the laptop. “Have you checked to see if there are any new messages yet?”

“Not yet. Been a bit busy.” Sherlock then began to play his violin, leaving you to check to see if there were any crimes worth his time. Opening the email browser, you began to click through the messages. You typed a quick response to the easy, boring ones, telling them what was wrong. You continued through the emails, typing back a quick reply to any that you figured out.

You stopped a cracked your fingers after the twelfth reply you sent, noticing that Sherlock had stopped playing. Swiveling around to face him, you frowned a bit, “Why’d you stop playing?” The man stood staring at you, his bow frozen in mid-play. Realizing you asked him a question; he shrugged and lowered his bow and violin.

“John used to ask me questions about them. You were quiet the whole time.”

“They were all boring ones, Sherlock. You would’ve hated them.”

“I know that. It was just… Different.”

You raised an eyebrow, smiling a bit, “Do you want me to tell you about them?”

“No, like you said, they’re boring. I hate them.”

“Would you like me to ring Lestrade and see if he has anything for you?”

“Well, I wouldn’t oppose it.”

“I know. Already rang him. He has something small you could look in to.”

Sherlock chuckled, dropping a kiss on your forehead as he went to grab his coat. “This is wonderful.” He raised his eyebrows at you when you didn’t begin to follow him, “Aren’t you coming?”

“Technically, I’m supposed to be going to work.”

“Molly will understand if you come along.” Sherlock grabbed your coat, reaching it out to you. “You know how irritable I am with the others. Come along, (Y/N).” Sherlock gestured with your coat, “Consider it our first outing. I believe that’s supposed to have some importance.”

You laughed, sliding your arms into your coat as Sherlock held it for you, “A murder on the first date? How romantic.”

As the detective led the way out of 221B, he grinned at you over his shoulder, “Knew you’d like it.”

–

Lestrade opened the cab door for you, taking your hand to help you out, “Hello, (Y/N), Sherlock.” Sherlock nodded to the Detective Inspector and you smiled a bit.

“Hello, Greg. What do you have for him today?” You nodded towards Sherlock as you spoke, and Greg led the way into the white building – a group of apartments. Sherlock followed Lestrade first and you followed behind Sherlock.

Walking up the stairs, Lestrade began to explain the scene, “A friend of the victim found the man this morning. The friend is currently under custody, just to make sure that he wasn’t the murderer.” Sherlock’s hands were down by his sides, and you took the steps quickly. Closing the space between you and the detective, you brushed your fingers against his, and you grinned as Sherlock’s hand flinched but squeezed your fingers briefly. “There’s a stab wound on the man, surely the cause of death. But there isn’t any other information that we could find on the scene. Room where the body was found is freakishly clean, and living room is just barely as clean.”

“Well, with how thorough you lot go through a scene, I’m sure (Y/N) and I will find something.” Sherlock faked a smile at Greg as he walked into the apartment door that Lestrade gestured towards.

“He’s in a much better mood this morning.” Greg grinned at you.

You shrugged, “He slept an awful lot, and I believe he’s genuinely excited about the case.” You then heard Sherlock call your name, and Greg nodded at you, allowing you to lead the way into the flat. Walking in, you immediately took notice to how accurate Greg’s description was – the flat really was immaculately clean. You walked into the bedroom, and you laughed a bit – everything was where it appeared it needed to be, except the corpse that was on the bed.

“Told you it was clean.” Greg spoke behind you, leaning against the doorframe.

You nodded, turning back to the Inspector, “Oh, I believed you. Just didn’t think that it was this clean.”

“I don’t believe I invited you along to just sit around and talk, (Y/N). I still need a medical consultant.” Sherlock’s voice pierced through your eardrums. Greg’s eyebrows rose in a bit of shock, and you turned, blinking at Sherlock and suppressing a grin. You moved towards the body, beginning your inspection. You kept your lips pursed as you worked, and you allowed Sherlock to do most of the speaking. “Obviously the suspect should be a woman. Given the circumstance that the victim was in, it makes it obvious. The wound shows that she knew what she was doing – or she was told what to do.”

“You mean to say that we’re looking for two possible suspects?”

“Obviously. The bruise patterns show its ability.” Sherlock pointed towards the patterns, taking off his gloves. You mimicked him behind his back, causing Greg to fake a cough to cover a laugh. “What? What is it?” Sherlock turned to face you, raising an eyebrow. You only shrugged, continuing to look at the body. Sherlock frowned a bit at you, and then turned to Lestrade, clapping his hands, “We’re done here.”

“Are we?”

“Yes. We are. I suspect there will be more of these types soon.” Sherlock didn’t turn to face you as he spoke, “Tell me if you get anymore of these.” With that, Sherlock led the way out of the flat, not bothering to look to see if you followed. You sighed a bit, nodding to Greg a goodbye as you reluctantly followed the detective.

When you reached outside, Sherlock had held open the cab door for you. He didn’t meet your eyes as you scooted into the cab. Once you had settled in, Sherlock followed suit. He kept his gaze out the window, and you suppressed a bit of a grin as you took his hand.

“I didn’t know you could get jealous.” You spoke quietly, squeezing his hand once before letting go and looking out the window. The cab ride remained in silence for a few minutes.

“I didn’t know I didn’t like it when you spoke with Lestrade.” Sherlock murmured, and you could feel his gaze on you. “He likes you, you know. It’s fairly obvious. Has been for a while.”

You nodded and kept your gaze out the window, not allowing him the pleasure of him catching your attention. “I wonder when there will be another one of those.”

You felt Sherlock’s gaze shift away, “I suppose it’ll be soon. It seemed that they were trying to send a message.”

“And what could that message be?”

“… I don’t know yet.”


	8. Treacherous

“Sherlock, that was the fifth murder from this killer, and still all you have figured out is the things that you have learned from the first murder.” It had been three months since the first killing in this string of murders, and Sherlock still had not been able to figure out who was behind them. You helped him when you could, but neither one of you could figure out who this person was.

Somehow, throughout the entire case, you and Sherlock had managed to remain in a relationship as well. You two still had yet to tell John and Molly, but with the intensity of the case and Mary’s approaching due date, you two figured it could wait. You turned around to face your boyfriend as you took off your coat. He still had yet to say anything after the pair of you had come back to the flat after another murder. However, he took your coat from you and tossed it, along with his own, across the back of the couch.

Turning back to you, he gestured towards your chair, and didn’t meet your eyes as he said the next few words, “I need you to sit down.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to look at you to help me think.” Sherlock glanced up at you, meeting your eyes briefly before looking back down. You let out a quiet laugh as Sherlock continued, “I know. That’s what I thought as well; however, I figured it out a few nights ago.”

You suppressed a smile, “So you’ve watched me while I slept?”

“No – yes. On occasion. But it could possibly save lives so I see no real weirdness in it.”

“Will you eat afterwards?”

He rolled his eyes, “Is it really necessary?”

“Yes.”

“Fine then. You’re ridiculous.”

You quickly went into your room, changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. You then took your seat, grinning at Sherlock, “At least I don’t watch people while they sleep.” Sherlock made a face at you as you picked up your blanket and book. Taking his seat across from you, Sherlock folded his hands underneath his chin, his eyes already glazing over while he entered his mind palace.

Your eyes trailed over your book, not actually processing the words. The case was beginning to wear down on you, and you could certainly feel it wearing down on your eyes now. Stretching yourself out slightly, you set your book on the table next to your chair. You set your feet on the small space beside Sherlock’s legs on his seat, pulling up your blanket more.

Your eyes trailed up to Sherlock’s blue eyes. He was looking at you, but he wasn’t seeing you. For a moment, you briefly wondered what was going on in his mind, but you knew it would only be filled with the case. Moving closer into your chair, you closed your eyes and fell asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you were in Sherlock’s room. You could feel his fingers brushed against your arm. Picking up your phone that he placed on his nightstand, you discovered that Mary had sent you a message.

Hey (Y/N), just wanted to be sure that we were still on for baby shopping today! John’s just absolutely going mad, and I’m in need for a girl’s day. – MW

Giggling a bit, you typed back a reply:

Of course we’re still on, Mary! Come by whenever you want to and we’ll go out! – (Y/N)

Almost instantly, you received a reply:

I’m walking down the street right now. I’ll see you in a few minutes! – MW

You jumped in the bed a bit, and then froze when you remembered that Sherlock was asleep. You slowly got out of the bed, pausing to leave a soft kiss on Sherlock’s forehead. His mouth was slightly open, and his face was completely relaxed. Sherlock jumped when you placed the kiss on his forehead, but he stayed asleep nonetheless.

You crept out of the room and into your own, quickly changing into a pair of jeans and a sweater. You brushed through your hair and walked in to the kitchen to find something to make for breakfast.

“Are you really just now finding something to eat? I thought you’d be ready to go.” Mary walked into the kitchen, standing a bit behind you.

You grinned back at her, eyes trailing over her very pregnant belly, “I told Sherlock I’d make him something to eat last night, but I fell asleep before I could.”

“Oh, I see. Well, why don’t you make eggs benedict? I can teach you.”

You nodded enthusiastically, “Anything to learn more.”

“Alright. Well, get the eggs and such out. Go ahead and start the eggs then. I need to use your restroom.” Mary laughed a bit and patted her belly. Waddling to the bathroom, she closed the door as you began to make the eggs.

“Eggs benedict?” Sherlock murmured, ruffling his bedhead away as he came to stand next to you. “Bit ambitious.”

You rolled your eyes, keeping them on the eggs, “Well, at least I’m trying. And besides,” you grinned up at Sherlock as he stepped closer, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “Mary’s here to help.” At the mention of Mary, Sherlock moved away from you and into the living room, tightening his dressing gown around himself and sitting down in his armchair, picking up the newspaper to read it. You laughed at his reaction

.  
Mary then emerged from the bathroom, “Didn’t burn them, did you, (Y/N)? Oh, good morning, Sherlock.”

“Morning, Mrs. Watson.” Sherlock nodded his newspaper towards her.

“Didn’t burn them!” You exclaimed, raising the spatula in celebration.

“You did a bit. ‘Round the edges.” Sherlock spoke, not taking his newspaper down.

“Shut it, Sherlock. You’re the one that has to eat them anyway.” You smirked at the frying pan, beginning to move its contents onto a plate.

Sherlock folded his newspaper up as Mary sat down across from him in the cloth chair, “And why’s that? You made them.”

“Because I’m stealing (Y/N) away from you today, Sherlock. Baby things.” Mary shrugged, grinning at the detective.

“What? You can’t do that. We will have a case today!”

“That’s why John is coming over soon. He’ll tag along today, just like old times.” Mary laughed a bit.

Sherlock began to pout and you handed him his plate, “Oh, drama queen, don’t pout – it doesn’t look good on you.” You walked back to behind Mary’s chair, leaning your hands against the chair as Mary sat in it. You puckered your lips at Sherlock, laughing a bit. You tapped Mary’s shoulders, “We better go then, Mary.”

Mary nodded, beginning to get up from the chair, “We better. Don’t know when she’ll be coming.” You moved forward to help Mary up, grasping her arm to help her. After you gave Sherlock a look, he moved up to help Mary as well. As Mary headed towards the door, Sherlock handed you your coat. He quickly glanced to make sure that Mary wasn’t watching, and then he quickly stole a kiss from you.

“Be careful.”

You smiled a bit, murmuring, “You don’t think I won’t be?”

“Murderer loose. Sociopath boyfriend can’t figure out who it is. Going out with a very pregnant ex-assassin. I do doubt even your abilities a bit.”

“We’ll be okay.” You slipped on your coat, grinning at him as you followed Mary out the door.

“Goodbye, Mary. Keep her in line, won’t you?”

“I’ll do my best.” You moved out of the way as Mary moved past you. She gave Sherlock a brief hug. You continued on down the stairs, and you heard the faint creaking of the stairs as Mary followed. Sherlock closed the door of the flat after you and Mary had left.

“So you and Sherlock, huh?”

“I’m sorry?” You turned back to Mary as you opened the main door of 221B for her. You blinked at her, not entirely sure you had heard her correctly.

“You’re getting along better, aren’t you?”

“Oh yes, we are. Much better.” You smiled a bit, closing the main door as you exited. Mary laughed a bit at your reaction, but didn’t say anything more on the subject. You both walked down the sidewalk, preparing for a day of baby shopping.

–

You let out a sigh as you dropped the few shopping bags you had in your hands. You and Mary had effectively spent the entire day shopping. You two had just finished dinner when Mary stated that she felt a little under the weather, causing the night to end. You took the cab with her to her house, made sure that she made it inside, and then went back to 221B.

Sherlock sat at his computer, fingers dancing over his keys. His eyes lifted up from the screen and onto you as he heard the bags drop.

He smiled a bit, “Enjoy your time?” You nodded, smiling, and kicking off your shoes. You walked towards him, gesturing towards the arm of his desk chair. He nodded, moving his own arm away. You sat on the arm, setting your arm across his shoulders. He wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Very fun. Very tired.” You murmured, leaning your head against Sherlock’s shoulder. Looking at his screen, you noticed that it was opened to John’s blog, “Did you two figure out anything?”

“Killer is obviously setting up for something. These murders are so simple – they look as if they’re practice.”

“Like we noticed before.”

“Precisely, but John pointed out how they’re all similar, almost to the exact detail. As if they really are practicing.”

“So what are you going to do now? Wait until the finale?”

“Ideally, we’ll have an idea on who it is before that..”

“Well, Mr. Holmes, you figured out quite a bit today. Would you like a bit of a reward?” You smiled, sitting up and meeting Sherlock’s eyes.

“Just a small one. Wouldn’t want to be distracted too much from the case.” Sherlock grinned a bit, eyes glancing down at your lips.

“Oh no, we couldn’t have that…” You murmured, pressing your lips against his. Sherlock tightened his hold on your waist, pulling you closer and biting your bottom lip gently. You let out a bit of a gasp, causing Sherlock to kiss you harder. You moved into Sherlock’s lap, straddling his lips as you grasped the hair at his bottom line. Tugging it back gently, Sherlock groaned, and you felt happy with yourself. This time, you bit gently on his upper lip.

Just then, your phone began to ring. You pulled back away from Sherlock, sighing as you answered your phone, “Hello?” Sherlock frowned a bit, and you rolled your eyes at him, trailing your thumb over his lips.

“(Y/N)? It’s John. Mary’s just gone into labor. We’ve just gotten to the hospital. If you could come and bring Sherlock along… “

You were already moving off of Sherlock, who let out a bit of a sigh as he got up as well, “We’re on our way right now, John.”

“She’s gone into labor?” Sherlock asked quietly, already beginning to lead the way out. You grabbed a coat, throwing it on as you nodded. Sherlock broke out into a quick walk then, and you followed just quickly. He flagged down a cab and opened the door for you, sliding in quickly afterwards. The pair of you then sped off towards the hospital.

As soon as you got there, you and Sherlock ran into the hospital, running to the pregnancy ward. Spotting John outside a room, he nodded for you to go on in.

“She’s asking for you, (Y/N).” John smiled a bit, accepting the brief hug you gave him.

“She’ll do great, John.” You grinned at him, and then went into the room. John then turned to his best friend, taking in his appearance.

“So.. Why was (Y/N) wearing your coat, Sherlock?”


	9. Sweet Dreams

“Chivalry is not dead, John.” Sherlock allowed the lie to continue to slip over his tongue, “She had forgotten her coat in our attempt to arrive quickly, so I offered her mine.” He didn’t dare meet the doctor’s eyes; instead he opted to stare at the door that you had disappeared in to. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the bewildered look that John was giving him. Sherlock went on to change the subject; he looked at John, grinning a bit, “So. You’re going to be a father.”

John’s bewildered look disappeared into a excited, proud one, “Yes, I am. And you’re going to be an uncle.”

“But I’m not related to you. That’s not possible, John. I figured you, of all people, would know how a family works.”

“It’s a figure of speech, Sherlock. Typically the parents’ best friends are considered to be uncles or aunts. (Y/N)’s an aunt too.”

“Oh.” Sherlock took a seat on the bench against the wall, opposite of the door. John followed suit, crossing his legs. “How long does she have?”

“Don’t know. Could be hours.. By the way, you and (Y/N) are her godparents. Mary and I agreed upon it.”

“In the event that both you and your wife die, you are hoping that a sociopath and an ex assassin can raise your child well.” Sherlock chuckled a bit, “You have quite the faith in us.”

“You see, Mary and I didn’t think of that part, mate. Don’t bring it up.”

“Bit difficult not to.” Sherlock glanced at John with a grin on his face, and John was grinning at him. You then emerged from Mary’s hospital room, wearing a surgical gown. Sherlock’s head whipped towards you, and John’s head moved just as fast.

You were beaming, “She’s just about to start pushing. Mary wanted to know if you wanted to be in there.”

“Oh no. I couldn’t. I.. No.” John murmured, wringing his hands a bit. He chuckled, “I genuinely don’t think I have the stomach for it. Just.. Keep me posted.” You nodded, still smiling. Your eyes moved over to Sherlock then.

“I hung up your coat in the room. Thank you for..” You trailed off, not quite entirely sure of the excuse Sherlock had come up with for you having the coat.

“Letting you borrow it? Just don’t forget yours next time.” Sherlock made an attempt to say the words harshly, leaning back on the bench. You rolled your eyes a bit, nodding.

“Yeah. That. I’m going back to Mary now.” You then turned on your heel, reentering Mary’s room.

A few hours later, you exited the room once again. Sherlock had begun to pace the hallway, and John was fiddling his hands. He quickly jumped up when you appeared, and Sherlock moved to stand closer to you.

“Congratulations John. You have a brilliant wife and a beautiful, healthy newborn daughter.” You laughed a bit as John wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. You returned the hug gratefully, and when John pulled away he had the biggest smile on his face. Sherlock patted him on the back gently, smiling at his best friend.

John then cleared his throat, straightening his jacket. “If you’ll excuse me, I must go and talk with my family.” You and Sherlock nodded, and John walked quickly into Mary’s room.

“He is very, very happy.” You giggled as the door swung shut. Sherlock’s hand grasped yours then, moving both of your arms behind you and around your waist as he nudged you closer to him. You felt his lips press against the top of your head.

“He truly is. Thank you for helping Mary.” Sherlock murmured.

“It only seemed fair I’d help her now, since I couldn’t help her at the wedding.”

“That’s a fairly decent way to pay someone back.”

“Fairly decent? I’d say we’re even now.”

“Not quite sure about that.” The door began to open and instantly you and Sherlock spread apart form one another. It was John standing at the door, beckoning the two of you inside, oblivious to what he had missed.

“Come along now, you two. My daughter needs to meet her aunt and uncle.” Sherlock looked a bit uneasy, so you nudged him towards the door with your shoulder. With your push, Sherlock took the steps into the room, and you followed behind him.

The room looked drastically different than when you were with Mary during the labor. There weren’t any doctors; there weren’t medical tools throughout the room. Mary’s face wasn’t nearly as red as it had been before. Her hair was pushed back on her head, and she had a bundle of blanket in her arms. John pressed a kiss on Mary’s forehead, accepting their daughter into his arms as Mary passed her over.

“Sherlock, take a seat.” John ordered.

Sherlock shook his head, “John, I can’t. I’ve never held an infant before.”

“There’s always a time to learn, now,” John nodded towards the chair next to Mary’s bed, “Sit.” Sherlock sighed a bit, taking a seat. He glanced at you helplessly, and you placed your arms in the way you would hold the baby.

“Just like this, Sherlock.” You smiled a bit, nodding towards your arms. Sherlock looked at your arms, and then mirrored his arms so they looked exactly like yours. John gently placed his daughter into his best friend’s arms.

“Watch her head, Holmes.” John warned, and Sherlock quickly fixed his hold to support her head. The baby then began to make noises, and Sherlock’s eyes widened, looking up at John.

“John, what’d I do wrong?” He kept still, panic in his voice.

John shook his head, smiling a bit, “You’re not doing anything wrong, Sherlock. She’s just fussing a bit. She’ll be fine.” The baby’s noises then died down a bit, and Sherlock smiled a bit. He readjusted his arm so he could move the blanket away from his niece’s face, peering down at her.

“What’s her name?”

“Alice.”

“That’s a bit unusual.” Sherlock murmured, causing you to smack his shoulder. He turned towards you, “(Y/N), I am holding a child that kind of behavior will not allow someone to babysit.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling a bit. John and Mary shared a laugh. John was now sitting at Mary’s bedside, holding her hand.

“Conveniently our two go-to babysitters live in the same place.” Mary smiled, resting her head against the hospital bed. You grinned and Sherlock frowned a bit. You patted Sherlock’s shoulders, looking down at Alice, and trailing your hands off slowly as your attention shifted. After a moment, you looked up at John and Mary and met Mary’s eyes; she was looking back at you, smirking a bit. When she caught your eyes, she turned to John, “Hey John, could you run and go get some food for all of us, please? I’m starving. You can take Sherlock to help you.”

John sighed a bit, smiling, “Okay. We’ll be back in a moment.” He stood up, heading towards the door. “Come along, Sherlock.”

“But John –“

“Sherlock, hand Alice to (Y/N). We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“John – “

“Sherlock, now.”

Sherlock sighed, “Fine.” He carefully stood up, turning to you. “Are you ready?” You nodded, holding your arms out. Sherlock rolled his eyes, “That’s not how you do it.”

You rolled your eyes, “As a woman, I believe that you should know that it is literally in my genes to know how to handle a baby.”

Sherlock seemed to contemplate it for a moment, and then John told him to hand over the baby. “Fine.” Sherlock gently passed over the sleeping baby to you, and then followed John out of the room. You took his seat that he had just occupied, rocking slightly to keep Alice asleep.

”So how long has this been going on?” Mary murmured, eyebrow raised.

You shook your head, “There isn’t anything going on.”

”Oh, (Y/N), get off of it. You need to tell me the gossip. My hormones are just out of the roof, and there is obviously something going on between the two of you.”

”Mary,” you laughed, “you’ve just had a child and my love life is what you decide to talk about?”

Mary laughed along, “Well, I haven’t seen you look at anyone like that since Jim.” Your laughter ceased at the mention of the name, and you pursed your lips, looking down at Alice. “Oh, (Y/N), I’m sorry, I –“

You shook your head, trying to smile a bit, “It’s okay. Um,” You stood up to hand Alice to Mary, “I need to use the restroom. I’ll be back.” You exited the room, turning down the hallway quickly. You turned into John and Sherlock, who were carrying bags with snacks.

”(Y/N), we were just –“ John started, before he was cut off by Sherlock.

”You’re upset. Why are you upset?” Sherlock interjected, asking the questions quickly.

You shook your head again, licking your lips, “Oh no, I’m fine. I just.. Needed to use the loo.” You cut through the two, continuing down the hallway. You heard the rustle of bags and then footsteps following you. You were then pulled into an empty patient room. You already know who it was, “Sherlock –“ he quickly told you to shut up, pulling the blinds down over each of the windows. You sat down on the hospital bed, and Sherlock stood in front of you, hands clasped behind his back.

”Why are you upset, (Y/N?”

”It really doesn’t matter. It’s nothing anymore.” You put on a smile and moved closer to Sherlock, who promptly stepped away.

”You’re just using me as a distraction. What is wrong?”

”Sherlock, nothing is wrong. I’m okay. I’m fine, just a bit tired. Today’s just been really long, and I’m tired.” You must have sounded convincing, because Sherlock nodded then, unclasping his hands.

Sherlock pressed a kiss to your forehead, murmuring, “You would tell me if there was anything wrong, wouldn’t you?” You nodded, holding his hand in your own and closing your eyes. “Good. Now come on, let’s get back to the Watsons, then we can go back to the flat, so you can sleep.”

You smiled a bit, then jumped, remembering Mary, “We’re going to have to tell them soon, Sherlock. Mary’s beginning to suspect something.”

Sherlock chuckled, “I knew she would.” He began leading the two of you out the door, “She’s very clever. We’ll tell them soon.” Sherlock squeezed your hand once, then let go as the two of you walked down the hallway back to Mary’s room.

Once you and Sherlock had reached the room, you continued a conversation with everyone, until you fell asleep on the couch in the room. You had used Sherlock’s coat as your blanket, and you drifted off as Mary, John, and Sherlock’s voices lulled you to sleep.

When you woke up, it was to John’s face. “(Y/N), come along now. It’s very near four in the morning, and Sherlock wants to take you home.” John was whispering, because Mary and Alice were both asleep as well. Sherlock stood at the doorway, a faraway look on his face that you figured was from lack of sleep. You groggily nodded, taking John’s hand gratefully as he helped you up. John wrapped Sherlock’s coat around your shoulders, you murmured a thank you as you stumbled over to Sherlock, leaning on him.

”Goodnight, John. We’ll be by at the house when you and Mary get there today.” Sherlock smiled at his friend, nodding to him. John nodded back, and took his seat next to Mary. He murmured a goodnight as you and Sherlock exited the room.

Sherlock kept his arm around you as he helped you out of the hospital, into a cab, out of a cab, and into the flat into his room. You immediately rolled over to his side of the bed, pressing your face into his pillow. Sherlock said something, but it wasn’t able to process in your mind as you fell asleep.

You awoke the next morning to the sound of a mobile ringing. It was yours, and you had to creep around Sherlock (because he was still out cold) to answer it. It was Greg.

”Good morning, Greg.” You laughed a bit, exiting the bedroom.

”Good morning, (Y/N). You sound very chipper for spending most of the night in the hospital.” You heard Greg chuckle through the phone.

You smiled, “I do my best. What’s going on?” You figured that there was something going on, because Greg didn’t typically call you and Sherlock in the morning.

”Well, there’s been another body found. I tried to call Sherlock earlier, but he didn’t answer.”

”Yeah, he’s still asleep.”

”I figured that. That’s why I called you. Do you think that you could come and take a look? It looks very much like the others, but I just need to be sure. We need to catch this guy.”

You nodded, “I can do that, Greg. Just text me the address, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Greg said a quick thank you, and then hung up the phone. You trailed back into the bedroom, nudging Sherlock gently. “Hey..” Sherlock blinked his eyes open, looking over at you. “Lestrade just called with another murder. I figured I’d go and check it out, that way you can sleep some more. I can message you on the laptop, if you want to see it.”

Sherlock nodded, murmuring, “I doubt there will be anything new. I’m sure they can figure it out.”

”Better be safe than sorry.” You smiled as Sherlock ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll take the laptop then.” He nodded, turning on his side to fall back asleep, “Hey, wait a minute.”

”Oh, that’s right. I have to be a good boyfriend.” Sherlock chuckled sleepily, turning back to face you. You nodded, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his lips. He placed his hand on the side of your head, and then pulled away with his nosed scrunched in disapproval, “Morning breath. You better brush your teeth.”

You rolled your eyes, leaving the room, “I planned on it.”

”Hey (Y/N),” Sherlock called out.

”Yes, Holmes?” You poked your head back into the room. Sherlock had tucked his arm behind his head, head turned towards you. The morning light was just peeking through the curtains, illuminating his face and curls, causing you to smile a bit.

”Be careful. Solve me a case.”

You winked at him, “Always am.” He chuckled as you continued; “I’ll call you soon.”

”I look forward to it.”

After you brushed your teeth and changed into new clothes, you left Baker’s Street to the address Greg had sent you. Pulling up to the address, you noticed that it kept the pattern – it was an apartment building. You paid the cabbie and began to walk into the building with laptop in hand. Just as you were crossing the sidewalk, you felt a man run into you rather harshly.

You turned towards the person, “You could at least say sorry.” You rolled your eyes as the person continued walking, and you began to turn towards the building again. Just as you began to walk into the direction, you ran into a person. As you began to say an apology, you watched as their hand swiped up. You saw the glare of a syringe, and you jerked away. The other person, a man, was quicker. You froze as he stuck the syringe in your neck, injecting whatever was inside of it. Instantly you felt your limbs and eyelids become heavier, and you willed your eyelids to widen to look at the person who had injected you.

They had wrapped an arm around your waist, taking your laptop into their hands, and putting your arm across your shoulders. The man nodded to the people passing by, “She’s just had a dizzy spell. We’re going home right now.” You tried to speak out, but felt as if you had cotton stuffed in your mouth. The man began walking to a car, placing you into it. “You’re a beauty, you know.” You opened your mouth to talk again, but the man pressed a finger to your lips, “Shh.. Shh.. Just sleep. Sweet dreams, darling.” The man chuckled darkly as he began to close the door, “You’ve got a long day ahead of you with the boss.” The man shut the door, and you sunk into the chair.

You fought the drug as it coursed through your system. You felt the car lurch forward, and you let out a quiet whimper. As the drug took its full effect, you felt your eyes close as one final thought ran through your mind.

I need you to find me, Sherlock Holmes.


	10. Seven Devils

When he heard the news, he shut down. He stood, staring at John with a blank look on his face. That was when John knew that you and the detective had a thing going on. Sherlock only shut down when he was given information he had never thought of (much like when John had asked him to be his best man). Sherlock never thought that anything would happen to you, and now he was dealing with it the only way he how – running off to his mind palace.

Before telling him the news, John knew that Lestrade had phoned Sherlock, telling him that (Y/N) had yet to arrive to the scene. Sherlock didn’t think anything of it, scolding the detective-inspector for waking him. When another hour passed with no sign of (Y/N), Greg phoned John, and John’s thoughts immediately leapt to the conclusion you had been kidnapped. John told him to check the cameras outside the building, and to call him back if he saw anything that suggested kidnapping. John told Mary of the situation, apologized for leaving, and then went straight over to Baker’s Street to talk with Sherlock. On his way over, John received a call from Lestrade informing him that his suspicions were correct – you had been kidnapped nearly two hours ago now.

John sprinted into the flat, taking the stairs two at a time in order to get to the detective quicker. As he entered the flat, Sherlock began to question why he was there, why he wasn’t with his family. That was when John broke the news, and that was when Sherlock broke.

As John watched Sherlock’s face stay the same, he realized that Sherlock really had no idea what to do. John muttered a curse word, quickly dialing Lestrade’s number into his mobile to figure out what they were to do next. Sherlock was too far-gone in his mind palace to register what John was saying, what he was doing, what was to be done. He tried to picture your face, but that just made him recoil further into his mind. He couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything.

Then he thought about what could be happening to you. He thought about the kidnappers, the ways that they could be torturing you. And that flicked a switch. John noticed the darkness clouding his friend’s eyes, and, without realizing it, took a step away. Sherlock’s posture became more poised, and his hands buttoned his jacket quickly. He picked up his phone, ringing Mycroft.

”Mycroft.” Sherlock said as he heard his brother answer the phone, “(Y/N)’s been kidnapped. You need to tell me everything you know about where she could have gone.”

”Brother, I do not have time to help you find your lost goldfish. Per-“

”Mycroft, now!” Sherlock yelled into the phone. John’s head whipped around towards Sherlock, surprised that he had made such an outburst at his brother. John heard the older Holmes’ murmur, and then Sherlock hung up his phone without another word. Already pushing past John, “We need to get with Lestrade. See where it happened.” Sherlock exited the flat, and John followed behind.

”Sherlock, you forgot your coat.”

”Girlfriend has it.” Sherlock stated, then glanced behind himself to look at the doctor, “By the way, (Y/N) and I are dating, and I am very, very angry.” With that, Sherlock shoved his hands in his trousers’ pockets, exiting 221B.

”An east wind is coming.” John murmured then, and, in that moment, he genuinely felt a bit sorry for whoever committed the crime. The moment passed quickly as he remembered you, and then he followed the detective swiftly.

–

Your hands were tied above your head, and your head was still very cloudy with whatever they had drugged you with. You were standing on the pads of your feet, on a wooden floor. Your mouth was very, very dry. Your arms were aching. You must have been like that for hours, you guessed, but you didn’t know much. The drug had knocked you out cold, and this is how you had woken up.

You heard a door open behind you, and you tried to spin yourself to see who had entered. You only caused the rope on your wrists to become tighter, and you took a sharp intake of breath as you felt the pull.

”Do be careful, love. Don’t get hurt on my account.” You heard the voice chuckle behind you, and you fought to flinch at how close the voice was to you. “Oh, very nice. Not bothered at all by my presence.” The voice was very Irish, and it was toying with you. The person had an air of humor, and you then understood how psychotic this person could be. The owner of the voice moved away and in front of you, “I suppose I should introduce myself. We’re going be very acquainted with each other while you’re here. I’m Jim Moriarty.” He extended his hands toward you, and then laughed, taking it away, “I’m sorry. I forgot you couldn’t do that.”

You faked a smile at him, “Yeah, bit of a shame. These ropes prevent me from doing so many things.” You twisted your hands around in their binds, “Like strangle your neck.”

That earned another laugh out of him, “I like you.”

You laughed mockingly back at him, “A lot of people do. Just wait till they get here.” As you said the words, you really hoped that they were on their way.

Moriarty grinned, “Like who? Sherlock Holmes? Darling, please, he’s tried to figure me out before.” He then pulled a chair out of the darkness, taking a seat in it. He crossed his legs, clasping his hands together. “And that’s another thing – you two are, shall we say, a couple?” You attempted to look confused at his suggestion, but Jim rolled his eyes. “Don’t play dumb, (Y/N). I can read you like a book, unlike your petty little detective. He’s such a bore, isn’t he?” Moriarty uncrossed his legs, leaning forward allowing his elbows to rest on his knees. You took in the sight, and he looked like an ordinary man. He was wearing a gray suit with a gray tie. He looked completely ordinary, aside from the glint in his eyes. He suddenly stood up, kicking his chair back, and you jumped a bit, “And that’s another thing! When I first saw the two of you together, I thought you’d make him a bit more interesting.” He blew a raspberry before continuing to talk, “Oh boy, was I wrong for thinking that. If anything, you made him more boring.”

You cocked your head to the side a bit, shaking your head with a smile on your face, “Oh no, Moriarty, I believe he’s more interesting. He’s got another thing to fight for.”

”What, you?” He moved closer to the face, smiling, “You’re just a girl. He doesn’t even know what to do with you.” His fingers trailed up your side, and you flinched away from his touch. His smile grew, “Oh dear me, he really has no idea, doesn’t he? You poor thing.”

You pursed your lips and looked away from the man.

”I suppose I should let you rest. Got a big show tonight.” Moriarty wiggled his fingers at you. “You’ll play your part just fine, don’t worry. All you have to do is look at your laptop camera, make sure your boyfriend gets the best view of you.” Moriarty took your face in his hands, scanning over your face, murmuring quietly, “I told Sherlock Holmes I’d burn the heart of him… Thank you for making it easier.” He patted your face before exiting the room, slamming the door behind him.

Once the door closed, you allowed your shoulders to slump. You clenched your jaw as you began to quietly sob.

You heard the door slam open again, and you jumped, letting out another gasp as the rope rubbed your wrists.

”You know, Sherlock fell for that, too. He and the doctor both did, the first time I met him.” You heard Moriarty laugh, clapping his hands once as he stepped into your view. “It turns out I’m very unpredictable, which could come from,” he pointed to his head, whispering, “the whole mind thing.” He shrugged his shoulders, taking another seat in his chair he had previously occupied. “I figured that we should prepare you for the show, you know.” You let out a breath slowly, causing Moriarty to frown, “Oh, don’t be like that, dear. It’ll be fun.” The door opened again, and you heard the sound of several footsteps. “Well, at least, it’ll be fun for me.” Moriarty laughed a bit, leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs again. He set his chin in his hand, surveying you, “The information we found on you says that you were an assassin. You’re proving to be very boring, dear.”

You then sprung into action, unhooking your arms from the hook that held you. Moving quickly towards Moriarty, you wrapped the rope around his neck, sliding behind him. You leaned your head close to his ears, “I’m afraid you’ll have to reconsider your view of me, dear.”

Moriarty began to laugh again, “Oh, thank you so much for not being like him.” He cleared his throat a bit, “Now, you’re going to have to let go of me.”

”And why would I do that? I have you where I want you.”

”Because I have leverage.” He hissed.

Suddenly the room was ablaze with light. You had to blink your eyes a few times to rid your vision of the dark blotches. Once your eyes adjusted, you looked to the walls, and felt your blood run cold. To the left, there was Molly working with Anderson, looking down at a table to something you couldn’t see. Straight ahead was Mary holding Alice in her hospital bed, glancing down at her phone every few seconds. To the right, John was looking helplessly at a map on a computer screen. Turning your head further, your heart fell as you saw behind you. You saw that behind you, Sherlock was yelling at Lestrade. Your grip loosened, and you had to blink a few to times to make sure that you would not start crying.

”Now, I highly suggest that if you don’t want anything to happen to them, you’ll go and put your hands back up.” You heard Moriarty chuckle as you began walking back towards the hook, head down. “Because if you don’t, well, these are all live videos.. You’ll see what happens.”

You raised your arms, and felt a rough hand grip your wrists, hooking the rope back in. You kept your head down as Moriarty gave the order for them to begin. You then felt a flash of pain against your back, heard a whip cracking. You blinked the white away from your eyes as they continued. You counted thirty before letting out a sob.

–

”What do you mean you don’t see anything, Mycroft?” Sherlock asked, nearly yelling into his phone. John figured that Mycroft did not give Sherlock the answer he wanted, because he threw his phone to him, saying, “You talk to him.” Sherlock then turned back to the group of maps they had on a chalkboard. Lestrade was staring down at his laptop, fingers dancing over the keys and a phone pressed to his ear. John briefly talked to Mycroft for a few more minutes before hanging up the phone, sighing and rubbing his eyes.

Sherlock’s phone began to ring again, and John let out a quiet sigh, thinking it would be Mycroft again. He picked up the phone, peering down at the screen to look at the caller ID. He let out a bit of a gasp, looking up at Sherlock, “Sherlock, it’s (Y/N).”

Sherlock was over to him in a flash, plucking his phone from John’s hands. Making eye contact with Lestrade, Lestrade nodded and went out to tell Donovan to begin tracing the call. Clicking the phone on to speaker, Sherlock quickly began talking, “(Y/N), where are you?”

There was silence for a moment on your end, then Sherlock heard your voice, softly speaking. “You still haven’t found me.”

”We’re all looking right now. Can you tell me anything about where you are?”

”You need.. to look quicker, Holmes.”

Sherlock pressed his hand over his phone, looking at John, “Someone is telling her what to say.” John nodded briefly, and Sherlock took his hand off the phone, “We’re going to find you, (Y/N).” The sound of a whip cracking broke through out of the phone, and John watched as Sherlock’s eyes grew even darker as he heard your gasp through the phone.

”You have.. failed me, Sherlock Holmes.” You sputtered out the words, gasping as the sound of the whip coursed throughout the room again. John flinched a bit, staring down at the desk in front of him. Sherlock’s head dropped, eyes narrowed at his phone.

”No. No, I’m going to find you, (Y/N).”

”You better get your… laptop, Sherlock.” You let out a quiet sob, and Sherlock’s hands clenched around the edge of the table. “The finale is about to begin.”

The line went dead. Sherlock turned to look at Lestrade, who just shook his head at the detective. Sherlock yelled then, picking up a stapler that was on the table, and flinging it against the wall. He then sat down in a chair, slamming his fists down on the table. He then seemed to remember what you had told him. He felt his stomach lurch a bit as he turned his head to yell out of the room.

”Anderson, go to Baker’s Street and get me my bloody laptop.”


	11. Cirque Dans La Rue

Your back stung as you were laid down on a metal table. The metal was cool, though, so it soothed where it hurt. Two men strapped your arms down near your sides roughly. As they did, you let out a slow breath through your teeth.

Licking your lips, you looked up at the two men, “So, where’d your boss go?” Once you had gotten off the phone with Sherlock, Moriarty left the room, telling the men to transport you. You were now here, and you still had yet to see Moriarty make a reappearance.

The man to your left let out a low chuckle, “Oh, don’t worry. He’s getting ready for the show.

”He needs to make sure he’s absolutely ready.. Has to practice.” The other man let out a laugh, not even trying to hide it. A shiver ran down your spine as the two men left. You closed your eyes and began to mentally go through the things you had been through this day. Or had it turned into days? The time that you have spent in Moriarty’s capture seemed to be days, and the time was beginning to run together.

Was it really possibly that you had spent the day with Mary? That John and Mary had welcomed their daughter that night? Was that all something that had happened yesterday, or had it been days since you had seen Mary, Alice, and John? Sherlock. How long had it been since you have seen him? Was it really possibly that, just that morning, you were teasing him about being a “good boyfriend?” Where had that time gone?

You pressed your lips together in an effort to remember how he kissed. It was such a silly thing, you knew, but you also knew that it was important to keep your wits about you and a clear mind – something that was typically easy to do around Sherlock. You pressed your lips together tighter and then let out a small cry. You couldn’t remember how he kissed.

Where was your detective now? You knew that he was looking, but how could he not figure out where you were yet? He was quick, you knew that… Everyone knew that. Could he have lost interest? Could he not care as much as you thought he did?

You immediately pushed that thought, ashamed that you had thought it. Of course Sherlock cared. Even if it wasn’t because you were his girlfriend (yet you knew he did, because you were such a challenge of his life), you knew that he would care because you were a case now.

Still, you were frustrated that he had yet to find you. You slammed your legs against the table in frustration, clenching your jaw. You closed your eyes and ran into your mind.

–

He kept his phone in his hand, tossing it between his hands, as he waited for any word from you. His laptop was wide open, open to the application that you, or your kidnappers, would be video calling him from. Sherlock let out another aggravated sigh as another minute passed. Turning his gaze to the London map full of possibilities of where you were at, he allowed his mind to wander.

What seemed to be only moments later for Sherlock, he was called back into the real world by John. Blinking a few times at his best friend, his brain processed that John had informed him he had just gotten a text. Sherlock took his phone into his hands again, opening up the message.

Mr. Holmes, you better come soon to get a good seat for the circus. The show’s about to start. – JM

Sherlock read over the initials twice, making sure he had read them right. For the first time, Sherlock was genuinely worried, but he knew that he could not show that to John. Sherlock looked up at the doctor, tossing his phone to him as he stood up. John read over the message, and he followed Sherlock as they both exited the room.

”Lestrade, if anything happens on that computer, you need to send me a video of it immediately.” Sherlock continued walking as he told his orders to Lestrade.

Lestrade put his hands on his hips, casting a confused look at the detective, “And where are you two going?”

”We’re going to the circus.”

–

Another set of men had entered the room, set a box on top of you, and promptly walked out of the room. They didn’t say a word, and you only watched as they placed the object above you. You were now in complete darkness, causing your senses to sharpen, and your fear to increase slightly.

You listened carefully, hearing voices talk quietly. Straining your ears, you were able to catch only a few words, but you were able to string them together. From what you heard, you were able to figure out that “a show” was going to start soon.

Well, at least it relates to the case..

You smiled a bit, happy that you were able to figure out the case before Sherlock. Your happiness was short lived as you heard Moriarty’s voice echo through the room.

”He’s on his way. Time to get started.” Moriarty carried his voice with a bit of laughter in it. Your hope surged again, knowing that there was a possibility that your detective was on his way.

–

Sherlock got the call after he had sent John off to cover more ground. Lestrade had told him that he was receiving a call on his computer from you. The detective told him to answer, quickly, and figure out a way that he would be able to watch it as they did. Lestrade told him that he would, and Sherlock was now impatiently waiting for the video to come through.

He continued walking through the hallway until the video came through. Stopping in his tracks, he peered down at his phone as the video began.

It was dark for a few moments, save for one spotlight trained onto an empty spot. Sherlock looked closer as a figure stepped into the spotlight, his back to the camera.

”Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, come one, come all to the Cirque Dans La Rue! Leave your troubles at the door, you don’t need them anymore!” The figure threw up his arms with a cane as he exclaimed the words. “Leave reality outside, and come along for the ride! But just remember, while you’re watching us,” a spotlight flashing onto a box that Sherlock deduced you were in, “do the things that we do.” The figure turned around, staring at the camera with a bit of a smile on his face. There stood Moriarty, and Sherlock in took a sharp breath as he realized his biggest enemy was still alive. “We’re watching you.”

Moriarty’s face disappeared from the screen, being replaced by a screen full of Baker’s street. Sherlock felt his stomach clench a bit as he realized that it was a video of the pair of you. It was only from two days ago, when you and Sherlock had shared a kiss in his chair. Sherlock pursed his lips, beginning to walk at a quicker pace to find you.

Moriarty appeared again, standing next to where the box had once been. You were now shown instead, strapped down to a metal table. Moriarty held a knife to the skin of your stomach, and Sherlock felt his face drop as he broke out into a run.

”All the pretty girls get cut in half, while the sad clowns make us laugh.”

The screen went black as the feed ended.

–

You fought to keep your breath as Moriarty moved the blade against your skin. You kept your eyes above you, refusing to look at Moriarty. You let out a gasp as you felt the blade break skin.

”Oh come on now, dear, don’t be like that..” Moriarty chided, pressing the blade closer to you. You gasped again as you felt warmth move against your skin. “Typically, I don’t do this sort of thing, but I figured it’d be a bit more special, since your Sherlock’s girlfriend and all…”

”Moriarty, get away from (Y/N).” You and Moriarty both snapped your heads towards the source of the voice. You instantly regretted it, feeling the effects of blood loss as the world spun. You closed your eyes for a moment, willing the world to still as you opened your eyes again. Your heart leapt at the sight of John, his eyes (and a gun) trained on Moriarty.

”John! What a nice surprise. Is Sherlock coming as well?” Moriarty paused his actions, smiling at the doctor.

”Yes, he is. As well as all of Scotland Yarde. Better get out while you can.”

“But why? (Y/N) and I are having so much fun.” After he said the words, he pressed the blade to you. Your vision began to cloud with dark clouds, and you attempted to blink them away. You head clouded itself and you felt light headed. Turning your head back up, you swallowed.

Suddenly a gunshot rang throughout the room, and you looked over to see where Moriarty was standing. He had run out of the room, and you turned your head slowly to look over at John. He immediately ran over to you, tucking the gun in his trousers.

”(Y/N), (Y/N),” John was tapping your face a bit, “Stay with me.” He took off his jacket, pressing it to your stomach. “Take deep breaths, don’t move. Stay alive.” John murmured the words, putting his phone to his ear with one hand.

You swallowed again in an attempt to produce saliva to speak, “John..” You whispered his name, and he didn’t appear to hear you as he called for an ambulance. “John.” You whispered louder, and he peered down at you as he ended the call. “John, you need to take care of him.”

He immeadiately began to shake his head, “No, (Y/N), I will not, because that is your job now, and you’re going to live to take it up again.”

You shook your head slightly, smiling a bit up at the doctor, “John… I’m a doctor too.” You took in a deep breath, “I know what happens.”

”Oh shut up. You’re going to live. I’m not going to let you die, because Sherlock would kill me if I let that happen.” John glanced at the open doorway, willing with his eyes that other medical personnel rush. “Go to your mind palace. I know Sherlock taught you how to make one, and I know that you have one.”

You turned your arm in its bind, grasping the doctor’s elbow. John looked down at you again, and you nodded towards the door, “Save the life.” John’s face fell a bit, as he understood what you meant. You only nodded to him, and then allowed your hand to fall from where it was.

As your eyes began to close, you turned your gaze towards the open doorway. You met a pair of icy blue eyes, and then your eyes fell shut. You ran away into your mind palace.

–

”John, is she okay?” Sherlock asked from his spot in the doorway. The doctor did not respond, instead applied more pressure onto where you had an open wound. “John, is she okay?” Sherlock almost yelled.

”Sherlock, you need to shut up. Help me roll her to where she can get medical attention quickly.” John commanded, clicking off the locks on the wheels. When Sherlock did not move, John sighed quietly, “Sherlock, we have to go now.”

Sherlock then nodded, murmuring something unintelligible quietly. He moved quickly to the opposite side of where John was standing, unable to look at you in the face this closely. The pair of them began to move you towards the entrance of the building.

When they reached the entrance, the medical personnel rushed into the building, moving to help you. They picked the locks, transferred you to a new bed, and began their work as they rolled you into the ambulance. Sherlock stole a look up at you just before they closed the doors. Your face was pale, your hair in a disarray. Your shirt was covered in your own blood. He cast his eyes downward quickly then, unable to know that, since he didn’t find you quickly enough, he had caused this. He quietly followed behind John into a cab where they would meet you at the hospital.

And in those moments, all Sherlock Holmes could do was believe in you. Believe in the idea that you would stay alive. Believe in the possibilty that medicine would work in your favor. Believe that the doctors and nurses would be able to do their best possible job. Believe that you would come back for him.


	12. Bleeding Out

You jolted yourself awake, gasping for breath. You sat up quickly, and immediately regretted the quick motion as a pain spread throughout your abdomen. You pressed your hand against your stomach, trying to understand where you were. The room you were in was dark, and you felt your chest tighten as you remembered what you had just been through.

As you remembered, the room was suddenly set ablaze with light. You jumped again, and felt warmth spread against your hand. Pulling your hand away, you glanced down to see it covered in your own blood. Looking farther down at yourself, you began to shake as the blood spread throughout your shirt.

“You need to calm down.” The voice came from behind you, and you turned around quickly to see the source of it. There stood Lestrade, his hands on his hips. You licked your lips, taking a deep breath as he continued to talk, “I’m no doctor, but you need to calm down.”

“He’s right, you know.” You turned your head around only to face John. “And I am a doctor. You should listen.”

Your vision began to cloud then, and you quickly blinked it away. Looking around between the two men, you knew where you were, but you couldn’t place the location exactly. “Where am I?”

Lestrade shrugged, stepping closer to you and tapping your temple with his finger, “I don’t know, it’s your mind. You tell us.”

The room then shifted into the hallway of the agency you had previously worked with. You were now sitting in your desk chair, turned and facing Lestrade and John who were also sitting in chairs. Lestrade spun around slowly in his chair, taking it all in, “Seriously? This is where you take us?”

Your laugh came out in a weak attempt, dying as soon as you begun, “Nothing too terrible happened here.” Another pain shot through your abdomen and you jumped in your seat, pressing your hand to your wound once again.

John put his feet up on your desk, leaning back in his chair, “I told you, you need to calm down.”

”That’s.. really hard.. to do.. at the current time.” You gasped the words as your vision began to darken again.

Lestrade lightly patted your face, calling your attention back to him, “Come on now, (Y/N). There has to be something in here that will calm you down. Go on and find it.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, and when you opened them, John and Lestrade were gone. You murmured a curse under your breath as you stood up. The room began to spin and you gripped the back of the chair to steady it. You began to walk slowly towards the door, searching for something that would calm you down. You entered the empty hallway and pressed your hand against the wall as you walked. Coming to a wooden door, you grasped the doorknob and twisted it, opening the door and leaving a bloody handprint on the knob as you took a step into the room.

You were greeted by a harsh light over a white sheet that covered something on a metal table. Glancing around, you realized, with a bit of satisfaction, that you were in an operating room. You walked closer to the table, noticing that the patient’s abdomen was the only thing shown. You didn’t notice the pain reside in your own abdomen as you picked up the forceps to sow the abdomen shut. Just as you were about to begin, a voice called your attention.

”This is what calms you down? Bit morbid.” You grinned up at Mary, shaking your forceps at her.

”Sociopath, remember?” You turned your head back down to the patient, beginning to place the stitches.

”How could I forget?”

”Don’t suppose you could.” You pulled the string through, lifting it so you could meet Mary’s eyes.

And you saw the sadness in her eyes. You paused your movements, blinking at her. “You’re going to die.”

You rolled your eyes, continuing your work, “No. I’m not.”

”You didn’t even notice, (Y/N).”

And in that moment, you did notice. Your patient had a cut on the abdomen that was not so different from your own. You pulled the sheet away from patient’s face, and your heart sunk as your own pale face met yours. Your eyes were closed, and your hair had been pushed back so there was no questioning it was your face. You licked your lips, looking back up at Mary with wide eyes.

”What do I do, Mary?”

”Well, try not to die when you feel the pain.” Mary’s words came with a surge of pain throughout your stomach. You fell to the ground, curling in on yourself. Mary was next to you then, cupping your face, “Control it, (Y/N). Find something and control the pain.”

You pressed your eyes closed, trying to think of something to control the pain. When you found it, you stood up in the waiting room. A surge of strength rushed through you as you ran down the hallway, searching for the correct doorway. Meeting the last door at the door of the hallway, you pushed the door open, immediately slamming the door after you had opened it. You pressed your back to the door, taking in your new surroundings.

You were in your old bedroom, the bedroom that you had in America. You stepped closer to the queen sized bed, brushing your hand over the blue blankets you had over your bed.

”I’m actually very flattered that you keep me in here.” The voice came from behind you, and you immediately knew who it was without looking. Arms snuck around your waist, pulling you towards the man’s back. You squeezed your eyes shut, turning in the arms. “Oh, come on, that was a joke, (Y/N). You need to lighten up.”

You opened your eyes, taking the figure in. You let out a quiet breath that allowed his name to escape, “Jim.” He smiled down at you, and you realized that he had not changed from the last time you had seen him. Still had his short blonde hair, still had his same smile.. Still had his clear, green eyes. You pressed closer to him, wrapping him in an embrace.

”There’s my girl.”

You blinked away tears as you remembered what had happened. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

You felt him chuckle, “It’s not like you could do anything, right? Not like you could’ve saved me.” His last sentence ended with him changing his voice to become darker. He pushed you down onto the bed, cocking his head at you. You gasped again as the push caused you to remember the pain in your gut. “You could have saved me, (Y/N), and you didn’t.”

You swallowed, trying to push the pain away, “I tried, Jim.” You could feel the strength draining from you. You felt your limbs begin to become heavier as you grew even more tired.

He shook his head a bit, running a hand through your hair, “You should’ve tried harder though. You could’ve tried, but you decided to let me down. And now you’re choosing to let everyone else down as well…” Your breathing became shallower as he continued, “You’re letting Mary down, and you’re letting John down and Lestrade and Molly..” He chuckled a bit, cupping your cheek in his hand. The warmth spread throughout the rest of your belly, and you knew that your time was running out quickly. “Just go ahead and fall asleep, darling. Just close your eyes, and it’ll be all over…” He laughed again as your eyes did begin to close. “And that new boyfriend you have, (Y/N). He’s just like you, isn’t he? Just as smart.. Just as clever.. You know, I bet he’s even more intellectual than you. I bet that just absolutely gets under your skin, knowing that. He’s going to go absolutely crazy once you’re gone. Can you imagine? He’ll go back to being such a machine…” Jim’s voice trailed off as your eyes shut. Your breathing began to take longer to happen.

”Sherlock Holmes. What a strange name, but it seems suitable for you. I just feel bad for the guy. I mean, he’s not only going to lose his girlfriend, but he’s going to keep his enemy? Tough blow.” You opened your eyes a bit as Jim continued talking. “And he’s still in such trouble, (Y/N). He’s not going to figure anything as well with you gone. Not even that doctor guy will be able to help him, I bet. You’re leaving him all alone with no help.”

After Jim had talked about Sherlock, you pulled your legs up to only kick him away harshly. Jim fell away from you, and you pushed yourself out of the bed. Making your way to the door, you pulled it open with great effort. You leaned onto the door as you felt your limbs go heavy again.

”What? Are you feeling better now?” Jim’s voice came from behind you, and you turned back to look at him. “You won’t be able to save him, you know. You won’t be able to change him into a better man.”

You shook your head at the man on the ground, smirking a bit. You pulled the door close with a slam, beginning to run down the hallway to get back to the real world, to get out of your mind palace, to get back to Sherlock.

As you ran, you stumbled a bit when you felt your wound being probed. You fell onto the ground and began to crawl towards the doorway, anything to get back. You continued to make your way, squeezing your eyes shut as the pain continued. You grasped onto the door handle, pulling yourself up into a standing position. Twisting the knob around, you took a deep breath as you stepped into the light.

–

Your doctors didn’t know how to explain it to everyone who was waiting for news on you. So they decided to tell them the entire truth of what had happened. When you had reached them, you had lost almost a quarter of your blood. They immediately began a transfusion and set to work on controlling the cut on your stomach. As they began to repair it all, they lost you. They lost your heartbeat, your breathing. You were declared dead on the table for nearly two minutes, then, suddenly, your heart monitor began to beep again. They brought you back and finished your surgery without any further complications. The doctors had called your save a medical miracle.

And maybe that’s what it all was. That’s what John and Mary believed it to be immediately; however, Sherlock knew better. He knew that there was not such a thing as miracles. A miracle was a word created to put a name to something extraordinary that a human’s puny mind was unable to comprehend. There were no such things as miracles. There were only breakthroughs in knowledge. But, deep down inside, he believed the doctors’ theory, because you were alive. In critical condition but still alive nonetheless, and he didn’t understand how he could have allowed your health to go so far.

He knew exactly what he would have to do when you woke up. He knew it as everyone congratulated him on your successful surgery. He knew it as he made the way down the critical condition unit to sit at your bedside. He knew what was necessary to do as he sat at your bedside, staring up at your face to wait for the moment you awoke. He knew it was the next logical step to take, and he knew it that it was a rude thing to do. He knew it would break you, just as much as it would break him.

And so he sat and waited for you to wake up, contemplating all that he was going to say. John and Mary would occasionally pass through the door; however, they did not stay too long for Alice’s sake. Sherlock didn’t mind. It only helped him in finding time to know what to say to you. He kept an eye on the oxygen that was being fed through your nose, making sure that it continued to do its job correctly. Just keep breathing. Keep going. His mind would whisper to himself but more to you. If he kept breathing, kept thinking of what to say to you - it would be finished soon. If you kept breathing, it meant that you were still very much alive and that you could continue going on, even if would be without him.

His eyes wandered off of your face for a moment, trailing to the sheets around your stomach that were surely covering the bandages around your wound. When he realized that he had looked away from your face, he trailed his eyes back to you. He looked up to meet your eyes, clear as day. His breathing faltered for a moment as his mind finally registered what he was officially able to believe once he saw it. You were alive; you had survived. And this he felt something odd twitch inside of his chest as he remembered what he needed to do. He watched as your mouth opened, and he quickly went through the speech he had created in his mind to tell you.


	13. In My Veins

You didn’t exactly register Sherlock’s face when your eyes opened. Your brain was trying to play catch up, but the pain was still throbbing throughout your mind, even with the morphine the doctor’s had coursing through your system. You turned your head slightly to look at the machine that gave you morphine, and you upped your dosage of the drug. You closed your eyes again, swallowing to try and get rid of your dry mouth.

You pressed your eyes together tighter as you remembered the details of your mind palace. You remembered what had put you here in the first place. You swallowed again, in an effort to get rid of the feeling that you were going to begin crying again. You pressed yourself into the mattress in an effort to aid yourself; however, you were met with multiple stings throughout your back. You let out a gasp and opened your eyes, leaning away from the bed.

“The doctors have informed me that you shouldn’t do that.” Sherlock’s voice came out as a murmur.

“You couldn’t have told me that before?”

“I knew you’d figure it out.”

”What a nice deduction. Bet you don’t have anymore.” The words came out as a hiss as the pain echoed in your body. You turned up your morphine again, and then met Sherlock eyes to see that he had cast his eyes downward. “Sorry.” You let out in a whisper.

”It’s a fairly accurate statement. I mean,” Sherlock turned his gaze up to meet your eyes, “I could have deduced and found you sooner. But I didn’t. Because I couldn’t figure it out.”

You shook your head slightly, “It’s not your fault, Sherlock. I knew it’d take you a while to find me.” The last words tasted sour on your tongue as you said them. You fiddled with your hospital blankets.

”But it shouldn’t have. I’m supposed to figure out those kinds of things quickly, (Y/N), and I didn’t. Not with you, and I’m truly –“ Sherlock had begun to reach his hand towards yours, but then he paused midair as his apology began. He put his hand back into his lap, clasping it around its pair. You took a deep breath in once he completed his motion. Something was wrong. You turned your gaze to your own hands as you tried to figure out something to say.

You didn’t expect the next words to leave your mouth, “He was there. He wasn’t supposed to be.” You didn’t realize you actually said them, with how quietly you had said the words. You had begun to think that you actually did not say them at all, until Sherlock replied.

”I know Moriarty was there.”

”Wrong one.”

”No, there is only one Moriarty. Believe me, I know.”

”Not another Moriarty. A..” You took a deep breath, clenching your hands around the white blanket, “Another Jim.”

You listened as Sherlock shifted in his chair, and you could feel his calculating gaze on you. He was trying to figure out who this Jim was. “So, who was he? Friend? Partner?” You flinched a bit, and Sherlock chuckled a bit, “Oh, partner. Didn’t realize assassins had those. He was your boyfriend too?”

”Stop.” Your voice came out as a whisper, and Sherlock continued on.

”You two had a nasty breakup then. Well, figures if you left an entire continent to get away from him. However, he still means a lot to you if he was wherever you were talking about. That should make our relationship awkward, shouldn’t it?”

”Sherlock, stop.” You glared at the man in the hospital chair, “Don’t do this. Just because.. I don’t even know why you’re doing it, but just stop.”

Sherlock feigned ignorance, “I’m sorry? What am I doing?”

You rolled your eyes, resting your hands gently on your stomach, “You’re being an absolute arse!”

”Well maybe I’m doing drugs again. That’s what you thought the last time you called me an arse.” Sherlock was keeping calm, and that was what infuriated you the most. When you didn’t reply to his accusation, he spread his palms out, “Aren’t you going to tell me who Jim is?”

”You already know.”

”Yes, I do. But I don’t know why he matters.”

You licked your lips, turning your gaze away from the detective. “It’s like you said, he was my partner. He and Mary both were, but, when Mary left, it was just the two of us for a while. He was very persistent on the idea of dating me, and it finally happened. We were together for two years. Moved in together. Then one day,” You laughed quietly to yourself, shaking your head, “we weren’t even supposed to be there.. One day, we were out helping a couple of the rookies on an operation.. And everything just went wrong.”

”He died.” It wasn’t a question; it was a deduction. You fought the urge to yell and roll your eyes at Sherlock.

You nodded a bit, biting onto your lip and closing your eyes, “Yeah. Bullet through the gut. Tried to save him. Tried so hard, but I couldn’t.” You clenched your blanket as the image of Jim in your mind palace ran through your head. “Now he haunts me.”

”In your head.”

”The very place he hated the most.” You rested your head on the bed, opening your eyes. You laughed a bit at how ironic it was Jim survived in your mind.

You watched Sherlock as he stood up, picking up a clear plastic bag with his coat in it, “Well, don’t put me in your head when I’m gone.”

You frowned a bit at him, “You’re leaving? When will you come back?

”I’m not.” His answer came immediately, and you felt your blood run cold. Sherlock met your eyes, and your heart sank as you didn’t see any trace of your Sherlock. “I’m not coming back, (Y/N).”

You shook your head a bit, “I don’t understand.”

”I knew you wouldn’t. What I mean to say, I believe this is right, is that we are ending our relationship.”

You shifted in your bed, “Why? Sherlock, why are you doing this?”

”Because it’s the safest thing I can do for you.”

”Sherlock, I think this proved that my safest place is with you.”

”If it were, you would stay, because that would be the logical thing to do; however, it is not and you must leave.”

”Oh Sherlock, shut up. You know it isn’t the safest. I was away from you when I was kidnapped. You couldn’t have prevented it.”

He shook his head, “I could have, had I gone with you.. Had I looked faster, more into detail.” Sherlock laughed a bit, shaking his head, “If I can’t save you, what is the point of having you?”

Your vision became clouded with tears. You tried to blink them away quickly, casting your head downwards in an effort. The motion only allowed the tears to fall faster. “Sherlock, please, please, don’t do this.”

”Molly has already come by Baker’s Street. I made arrangements for you to live with her..” His voiced trailed off slightly as he watched another tear fall from your face.

Sherlock couldn’t understand why you were crying for a moment. This was just a moment for him, something that he knew he had to do to keep you safe. He couldn’t understand why you didn’t see it the way you did – how it was an absolutely necessary taskt that needed completed. But when you looked back at him, he fully understood.

Your pupils dilated. Your heart monitor was beeping more frantically. Your body was completely still, eyes fixed on him. Your hand was extended towards him, as if he was supposed to take it and everything be changed. Sherlock closed his eyes for a moment, frowning to himself before meeting your eyes once again. He made his deduction, coming to a final result.

You loved him.

He knew that you didn’t realize it yet, and he figured that it’d be best if he kept those deductions to himself. Sherlock knew how he felt for you, but he knew that it would ruin his ability to leave you if he informed you of the way he saw.

So instead of telling you those things, Sherlock moved close to your bedside. He dipped his head a bit, bending to press a kiss to your forehead. When he stayed there for a few seconds, you began to move your hand up to pull his head down farther to your lips. Sherlock moved out of your grasp.

”It’s for the best.” He quietly murmured, then turned and walked out the door quickly.

Your mind was not able to process what had happened for a few moments. But when it did process, the pain and sorrow hit you like a freight train. Instantly tears flowed from your eyes, and you pressed your face into your hands. When you heard the door to your hospital open, you snapped your head up, hoping to see Sherlock entering through the door. When your eyes met Mary and John, carrying Alice in her car seat, you began to cry harder once again. You reached your arms out to Mary, and she instantly went into them, wrapping you in a hug. John had set Alice down on one of the hospital chairs, watching the pair of you helplessly as he began to put the pieces of what happened together. Once he did, he picked up his phone and walked into the hallway. You could hear his voice echo into your room. Alice continued to sleep in her car seat. Mary began to stroke your hair, hushing you quietly and telling you that everything was going to be alright. But how could everything be alright when you just had your heart ripped out of your chest? After you lost the very person you sacrificed everything for? Your tears stopped after a while, but you kept repeating the words you had begun to say once they entered your room.

”I came back, and he left.. I came back, and he left.”


	14. Talk You Down

Everything hurt. It hurt to get up in the morning. It hurt to go to work. It hurt to avoid a portion of a building. It hurt to not be able to visit Molly, John, or Mary when you needed them. It hurt having to plan your life in order to avoid seeing someone. It hurt to see scars. It hurt to avoid being touched. It hurt to have to create a portion in the deepest part of your mind just to hide some people who affected your life so much. But you didn’t dare say any of these things out loud. If you said them out loud, they’d pity you more than they already did. They would say that you had fallen back on all the progress you made, and you couldn’t have that happen.

”I’m fine.” You faked a smile at the woman sitting across from you. “I’ve been running a lot more.”

The woman, your therapist nodded a bit, “Well, that’s good. Great way to relieve stress.”

”And produce endorphins.” Your gaze trailed out the window, watching the leaves sway on their branches. You heard the rustle of pen touching paper, and you groaned a bit, “I’m not depressed; I was just stating a fact.”

”After taking nearly half an hour to produce a reply to how you felt today.”

”I’m sorry, I was unaware I was not allowed to think.” The sound of pen hitting paper found its way to your ears again, and you sighed, looking at the woman, “What is it now?”

”Defensive.” She cocked her head at you, looking up at you once she finished writing, “Could be a sign of drug use.”

”Oh please, I’ve learned my lesson.” You lied through your teeth, and she seemed to know that you were. However, a bell’s ring echoed throughout the room, signaling the end of your session and allowing you to avoid another question. You stood up quickly, taking your coat into your hands. “Make sure you tell Mycroft I’m getting plenty of endorphins. I’m sure he’ll appreciate knowing that.” You spat the words before exiting the room. You pushed your way out of the building, walking down the street quickly before turning into an alley. You fished the carton of cigarettes and lighter you had hidden out of your coat, placing one between your lips and lighting it. You inhaled deeply, and breathed out the smoke slowly.

Mary and John would be disappointed. They had Lestrade perform a drugs bust on the flat that you and Molly shared. When Greg had found a small amount from your bedroom, everyone agreed that you should be forced to go to a therapist and under someone’s watch at all times. They told the therapist what you had been put through nearly a year ago now, and she then decided the best course of action.

Or so they thought. You knew Mycroft was behind all of your medical attention, and everyone else tried so hard to hide that from you. It was spoiled when Mycroft was the one to pick you up from your appointment, saying that he was only doing it as a favor for John. The way that he was standing and number of ways he folded his newspaper told you otherwise – Mycroft had only come to make sure you didn’t sneak away.

You checked your watch, snuffing out your cigarette. Greg invited you to join him (and a vast majority of others) at the pub for a drink after work. You pulled on your jacket, zipping it up to the base of your throat. You sent Lestrade a text, informing him that you were on your way (because heaven forbid someone not know where you were at). You shoved your phone back into your pocket, breaking into a jog.

–

He still didn’t understand. He still couldn’t understand. That was one of the things that bothered him the most. He had this small pain in his chest, this dull feeling that he couldn’t understand what was coming from. No matter how many cases John found for him, Sherlock couldn’t shake this feeling that something was wrong, and it hurt. No matter how many kinds of drugs he found, Sherlock still felt the dull feeling. He couldn’t explain it, and he didn’t dare try to. This was his puzzle, and he would figure it out himself.

Sherlock found it less noticeable when he was given reports of your “progress” by Mycroft and Molly. Any mention of you, really, and the feeling faded away. Whenever he was reminded that, yes, you were alive, his heart ached a bit less.

It was during one of these reports, given by Mycroft, Sherlock realized that his hurt centered around losing you. When he bolted up out of his chair, his older brother criticized him for his interest. Sherlock didn’t really understand what he had said, since he was running through his head, trying to make sure his answer was correct. He traced each thought back to its source, and yes, your memory eased the pain. And yet, Sherlock still couldn’t understand why you were the one who could aid him in this way. He turned to his brother slowly.

”What is it, Sherlock? What could you be going on about now?” Mycroft said idly, turning the newspaper over in his hands.

Sherlock brushed his hand over his lips, contemplating how to ask his question. He took a seat once again, folding his hands underneath his chin as he began to speak, “It would seem..” Sherlock sighed, beginning to form the words again, “Sometimes my chest, it hurts. Very similar to when I was shot. And it stops, when I come here. Or when I talk with Molly.”

Sherlock frowned as his older brother’s eyebrows raised and a smirk appeared on his face. Mycroft let a chuckle escape through his lips as he tossed his newspaper onto the his desk in front of him, “Oh, brother.. You miss (Y/N).”

the younger brother shook his head a bit, “I don’t understand.”

”It means that your brain is telling the rest of your body to physically hurt, because you miss (Y/N)’s presence in your life.” Mycroft laughed again at his brother’s ignorance, “You really do not understand the human way, do you?”

Sherlock scoffed, “And you do?”

”It would appear I know more than you actually do.” Mycroft smirked at his brother once again.

Sherlock moved his head back and forth, wringing his hands together once, “And how do I stop the feeling?”

”From what I understand, women enjoy being apologized to. Looks like you’ll have to lose your pride, little brother.”

The younger Holmes brother remained quiet for a moment, his hand on his lips as he stared down at Mycroft’s desk. “I broke her, Mycroft,” he whispered. Mycroft nodded, murmuring an agreement. “She loved me, did you know that?” His eyes travelled up to meet Mycroft’s, “That was the first deduction I was able to make of her, based upon herself, not her clothes. I deduced that she loved me, and then I sent her away.” Sherlock stood up again, throwing on his coat and catching your smell still lingering on it. His heart leapt up a bit as you invaded his senses. “How do I apologize?”

”I’ve learned that a simple ‘I’m sorry’ is always a good start.”

”We’ll see how far that gets me.” Sherlock muttered, pulling his coat on tighter as he left Mycroft’s office.

—

You pushed through the green wooden door into the pub, pressing your back into it to avoid letting the cold night air in as well. Immeadiately you heard your name being called, a sign of welcoming. You smiled and nodded to the group of people crowded around the bar. You walked to Greg, unzipping your jacket a bit.

”Glad you could make it, (Y/N).” The DI grinned at you, patting you on the shoulder as he handed you a drink. A typical Shirley Timple.

You frowned a bit, taking the drink, “When will you all stop babying me?”

”When we get the approval from the doctors that its okay.” Lestrade chuckled a bit, nodding behind you.

You turned around to meet the faces of the Watsons, “John! Mary! What’re you doing here? Where’s Alice?” Your “niece” had become the center of your attention in the past year.

Mary gave you a quick hug as John explained, “She’s at home with the.. other babysitter.”

You shook your head, rolling your eyes as you gave John a quick hug as well, “You know, you can say his name. I won’t have a meltdown, not a grenade.”

John shook his head, avoiding your eyes, “That’s not what your therapist said tonight.” You pursed your lips together, taking a sip of your drink.

Mary scolded her husband by giving him a glare, and John shrugged a bit. Mary threw a smile in your direction, “I heard you’re getting a bit of a promotion, (Y/N), that’s exciting.”

You shrugged a bit, “Head of the pediatrics isn’t that big of a deal.”

”Oh get off it, dear, it is!” Greg nudged you with his shoulder, chuckling. “Not a big deal? You should give yourself more credit than that. Saving kids’ lives!” John and Mary agreed with Lestrade as he said the words, heads nodding. You only shrugged again, because to you, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. You had taken the job because you knew that a) you wouldn’t face anything that triggered your memories and b) you knew that Sherlock would never venture into that realm of the hospital. You took the job in an effort to create a normal piece of your world.

”Will you be at Alice’s birthday party on Saturday? She’s keeps saying your name and party, so I reckon she’s very excited.” Mary changed the subject once again, knowing that the mention of her daughter would conjure up a smile on your face.

And so it did. You face lit up with a smile, “Of course I will be! Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

John nodded, “And you won’t have to worry about the ot—Sherlock being there.” John corrected himself and you did your best to not flinch at his name. “He’s got a new case that’ll keep him occupied for a bit.”

”Yeah, and I haven’t received any messages about it, so the case must be keeping him busy.” Greg offered, checking his phone once again.

”I’d be.. Fine with him being there. It’s all for Alice, after all.”

Mary shook her head, patting your hand, “We wouldn’t do that to you, love. Besides, the doctor says no visits.”

John gestured to himself, “That’s me. I’m that doctor. In case you were wondering. Which reminds me..” John reached into your jacket, pulling out your cigarettes and lighter, “I’ll be taking these.” Your cheeks burned red and you took a sip of your drink to avoid having to say anything.

”Those are actually mine.” Lestrade lied, plucking the carton from John’s hands. John raised an eyebrow at the man and Lestrade shrugged, shoving them in his pocket. “It’s a nasty habit, been trying to kick it, so I gave them to (Y/N) to hold. That way I wouldn’t get a hold of them.”

John rolled his eyes, “Well wasn’t that a brilliant idea, Greg?” John pushed by him, heading towards the bar.

Mary stayed in her spot, eyes staring down at Lestrade, “John may have believed your little lie, but I don’t.” Her eyes then travelled over to you, and she frowned a bit, “Don’t do it again. You’ve been through too much to fall back again.” Mary then ducked by the two of you, joining her husband at the bar.

”You didn’t have to do that, Greg.” You kept your gaze towards the ground.

”Oh, I know I didn’t. Just figured that you deserved a break from John.” Greg stepped into your line of vision, forcing you to look up at him. “They’re right though, you know. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

You nodded your head, eyebrows scrunching up, “Oh, I know. It just..”

”Makes it easier? I know too, (Y/N). I’m just saying that it gets better.” Greg supplied, chuckling a bit. He looked up as his name was being called. He looked down at you once more, “Just think about what I said.” You nodded, and Greg left to go and talk to who had called for him. You took a seat at the bar, stirring your drink absentmindedly.

Better? How was everything supposed to become better? You still had your scars, still felt the pain. Every day you were reminded of how much everything was not better, so how could Greg insist that everything would become better? How did you get better than Sherlock Holmes? Was there even such a thing?

”No.” You murmured aloud quietly. “No such thing at all.” You let out a bit of a laugh, sitting back in your chair. Mary took a seat next to you, launching into a conversation about Alice’s birthday party. You swiveled your stool to face her, and attempted to keep up in the lively conversation. Your heart sank a bit as you tried to figure out how everything would get better, how you could try and fix yourself. And then, in a moment, you became infuriated. You murmured an excuse of the restroom to Mary, walking quickly into the bathroom. Your chest tightened as closed the door behind you.

You pursed your lips, checking underneath the stalls to make sure no one was in there. Locking the door to the bathroom, you took a deep breath. Your hand then slammed into the paper towel dispenser. You continued to do this until the cover popped open, and then you stopped. You ripped a piece of paper off the roll, pressing it to your mouth before letting out a sob. You crouched on the ground, pressing your head against the bathroom wall. You stayed there for a few moments, collecting yourself, trying to calm down. You must have stayed like that for few minutes, because there was a knock at the door.

”(Y/N)? Are you all right? Do you need me to come in there?” Mary’s voice came through the door, and you heard her try to jingle the door handle.

You took a deep breath, standing up and looking at yourself in the mirror. “No, no, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a moment.” You coughed a bit, rubbing your face to rid it of the tear tracks. You quickly snapped the cover of the paper dispenser back on and took another deep breath. You turned towards the door, unlocking it and meeting Mary’s face. You put on a smile, giving her a lame excuse that she laughed at. She guided you to a table, and you continued trying to calm down.

What were you going to do?


	15. Breath In, Breathe Out

You were laying down on some sort of surface. You tried to lift yourself off of it, but straps held you down across your body. The feeling of panic washed over you, and your breathing began to quicken. You turned your head back and forth, trying to figure out where you were, but you couldn’t see anything due to the darkness all around. You swallowed, closing your eyes and beginning to take deep breaths.

”Oh, come now, darling.. Let me see those eyes.” A voice whispered in your ear. Your eyes shut open and you bit back a scream as your eyes met Moriarty’s. You felt tears begin to prick at your eyes as the feeling of being pinched entered your mind. You glanced down and saw Moriarty’s hand against your skin. “Thought you had gotten rid of me, eh? John Watson’s not here to save you now…”You let out a shaky breath, turning your face away as he said the words. Your blood ran cold as the feeling of cold metal ran across your stomach. Moriarty used his free hand to move your face, forcing you to look at him. “No, no.. (Y/N), it’s very important that you look at me while you do this. You need to look at me, or..” He let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head, “Or I’m going get very, very angry. And I don’t want that to happen to you, dear.”

Moriarty pressed his hand closer, and you clenched your jaw. “Stop.” You whispered, Moriarty pressed his hand harder, raising an eyebrow. You gasped, tears escaping your eyes, “Stop.” You said the word louder, looking straight at the man. Moriarty allowed a smirk to fall over his face, and you clenched your fists together. “Stop.”

Jim Moriarty let out a laugh, shrugging, “If you insist.” He took his hand away, leaving the knife on your stomach. You glanced down, seeing that he had only begun to leave a thin line of blood. You let out a breath of relief, leaning your head back against the table.

”Why did you stop, Jim?” A new voice emerged through the darkness, and your head turned quickly to see its source. The figure was hidden within the darkness.

”She asked me to. I figured the least I could do was listen..” Moriarty chuckled again, patting your hand. You flinched at the contact, moving your hand away as you stared at the darkness. The voice was familiar, oddly distorted but familiar nonetheless. You squinted, willing the figure to emerge. The source of the voice took a few steps forward, stepping into the light. You let out a shriek as you recognized the stance, the voice, the person.

”Sherlock.” His name came out in a breath. You allowed a smile to form on your lips, and it quickly died as soon as your eyes met his. Staring down at you, it wasn’t Sherlock, not the one that you knew. This Sherlock had eyes cold as ice. He had a smirk on his lips, hand taking up the knife Moriarty had just laid down. “Sherlock.” His name now came out as a slight plea. You knew what he was going to do before he did it. Before he even made any motion.

Sherlock’s free hand moved to your face, pushing back your hair. He allowed his hand to travel down your face, to your neck before resting there. He shook his head a bit at you as you began to speak again, “Oh no, don’t speak, (Y/N). There’s no need for that… I want your last words to be my name.” The detective and the criminal shared a laugh after he said the words. A single curl fell over his forehead as he turned to face your stomach, moving his free hand now to trace the cut Moriarty had applied.

”Oh, Sherlock, you’re cruel.” Jim grinned over at the detective, watching his movements.

”Oh, please, Jim. I’m going to make it quick – you would’ve prolonged it. I’m doing the girl a favor.” Sherlock said the words as if they were obvious. And maybe, to the pair, they were. You breathed quickly through your nose, pressing your lips together so you wouldn’t say a word. You shut your eyelids tightly, feeling tears fall down your face. “Now, now.. What did Jim say, (Y/N)? Let’s see those eyes.” You opened your eyes, staring straight up and allowing the tears to fall more quickly. “There we go!” Sherlock said gleefully, “Now, here we go…” You looked down, letting out a scream as Sherlock brought the knife down quickly.

You shot up in your bed, clamping a hand to your mouth as you realized you were screaming. You pushed your hand closer as you realized that your face was wet, meaning that you had been crying throughout your sleep.Just a dream.. Just a dream… You repeated the words in your head as if they were a mantra. Lifting your hand from your mouth, it shook as you reached over to your nightstand, tugging on the chain and allowing light to spill into your room. You paused for a few moments, trying to steady your breathing. As you calmed down, you reached again to the nightstand, grabbing your phone. You opened your contacts, scrolled to a name, and pressed onto it, beginning a call. As the phone rang, you closed your eyes, praying that they would answer this late at night.

”Hello? (Y/N)? What is it?” Mary’s voice came through the phone, and you opened your mouth to speak, only to have no words come out. Instead a sob escaped between your lips as you remembered your nightmare, you pressed a hand to your mouth, continuing to cry. “No, no.. Don’t cry, (Y/N). It was another one, wasn’t it? .. John, it’s (Y/N). She’s had another night terror.. (Y/N), it was only a dream. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” Mary’s voice continued to come through your phone, but your cries had removed you from the conversation. You huddled yourself in your bed, curling in on yourself. “(Y/N). John’s going to come and get you right now. He’s on his way. You’ll be over here soon. You’re going to be okay.”

And somehow, you couldn’t believe her.

–

As soon as you entered John and Mary’s house, you pushed yourself into Mary’s arms. You had briefly stopped crying loudly when John picked you up, but once you saw Mary, the tears picked up where they had left off. Mary had been sitting on the couch, and you now had your arms wrapped around her midsection, your head in her lap as you lay on the couch. Mary stroked your hair, murmuring soothing words to you. John went into the kitchen, getting you all something to drink, before returning and sitting on the arm of a chair. Eventually you cried yourself to sleep once again.

When you awoke, you were clutching a couch pillow to your chest. The smell of eggs wafted through the air, and you could hear hushed voices (and Alice’s few words) coming from the kitchen. You slowly stood up, rubbing at your face to rid it off its gritty feeling. You walked into the kitchen, ruffling the bit of blonde hair on Alice’s head.

”Auwntie (Y/N)!” Alice shrieked, clapping a bit at you from her feeding chair. You pressed a kiss onto her head, taking the seat next to her.

”Hey Al! Happy birthday.” You smiled as Alice let out a giggle, pressing the eggs into her mouth with her hand.

John was fiddling with his tea mug, glancing up at you, “Would you like to talk about it? I went through something similar..”

”He was in it this time. It was the first time he’s been in one of them. He was the one who killed me.” You rushed the words out, nodding thanks to Mary as she slid you a cup of tea.

”Christ, (Y/N).” John muttered, shaking his head a bit.

”Are you okay now though? I mean.. Are you not..?” Mary sighed, bringing three plates of eggs to the table, setting them in front of John, you, and she. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

”I don’t feel completely ready to burst into tears, if that’s what you mean.” You weakly smiled at Mary, and she returned it, “Let’s just get ready for the birthday girl’s party, shall we?” Mary nodded, and soon after John reluctantly did as well. The conversation then diverted to what Alice’s party would be like.

–

As the party drew nearer, you, John, and Mary took turns decorating and watching over Alice. It wasn’t going to be a big party, just a small get together, which made decorating that much easier. A few streamers here, a few balloons there.. And soon you all were finished with the process. Mary gave you a pair of jeans and a sweater to borrow, seeing as to how you wouldn’t be able to make it back to your flat in time for the party.

You were swinging Alice in your arms when the sound of a doorbell rang throughout the home. John let out a call that he would get it, causing you to not think anything of it. You continued to swing Alice in your arms, laughing as she let out delighted squeals. When John took minutes to return, Mary went on to look to see who was there. Time ticked on and you still had yet to see who was at the door. You placed Alice on your hip, playing with her fingers as you walked to the front door. You froze in your place as you caught sight of the person at the door.

”Uwncle Sherwock!” Alice exclaimed, reaching her arms out to the detective. Sherlock smiled at the girl, and it soon evaporated once he caught sight of you holding her. Sherlock licked his lips, eyes glancing over you, making sure that you were okay.

”Hello, (Y/N).” Sherlock spoke quietly, clearing his throat. John and Mary had been in the process of telling him to leave, you realized.

You nodded back to the detective, “Hi, Sherlock.” You switched your gaze to Mary and John, “Alice wants him here. And it’s her birthday.” The three stared blankly at you, unable to believe what they were hearing. “Alice wants him here, don’t you, Alice?” You smiled at your niece, who nodded, making grabby hands at Sherlock. You set her down, watching as she stumbled towards her uncle. Sherlock’s eyes kept on you until Alice began to tug onto the leg of his trousers.

Sherlock then turned his attention to her, smiling, and picking her up, “Well, hello there, birthday girl.” Sherlock pressed a kiss to the side of her head, picking up a blue bag he had placed behind him. He held the bag for her as she cautiously peered into the bag.

”Sherlock, we’re not supposed to give her gifts yet.” John sighed a bit.

”It’s her birthday. You’re always supposed to give her gifts. Don’t you know anything about birthdays, John?” Sherlock rolled his eyes, stepping past John and Mary. He stopped a few feet shirt of you, going and sitting on the couch with Alice in his arms.

”(Y/N), will you come and help me with the cake?” Mary suggested, and you nodded, a bit grateful for an excuse to leave the room. Mary led the way into the kitchen, throwing on oven mitts to take the cake out of the oven. You picked up the candle that would go on the cake, turning it over in your fingers.

Sherlock had just been surprised to see you, as you were to see him. His dilated pupils had shown that. You weren’t able to deduce what he had been feeling when you seen him, because your blood had been rushing through your head too quickly for you to realize. The same thought had been running through your head, over and over again. Sherlock Holmes was standing there, and he was staring at you as if he had never said the words that crushed you. The only thing that had kept you from going forth and hugging him had been the dream that you had. You had become apprehensive. Your blood ran cold when you saw his coat, when you saw his face. When you glanced down at his hands, all you were able to see was his hand coming down on you with the knife.

”(Y/N)? Are you even listening?” Mary asked, penetrating through your thoughts. You jumped, the candle falling through your fingers.

”Sorry?” You muttered, crouching to pick up the candle quickly. You glanced up at Mary, tossing the candle between your hands once again.

”I was telling you how..” Mary cleared her throat a bit, “Sherlock, he fell back on the drugs too. Lestrade and John found him while he was high a few days ago.”

You raised your eyebrows a bit, “Oh?”

”Basically what I mean to say is that.. He.. He’s hurting too, (Y/N).” Mary averted her attention back to the cake, spreading icing onto it.

You faked a laugh, “Oh, he’s hurting Mary? What a shame. Can’t have that happening. Oh no, the great Sherlock Holmes has to have everything completely perfect and okay.” The words escaped your mouth before you fully processed them. You had allowed your apprehension and anger towards him to leak out.

Mary seemed surprised at your outburst. She was now looking at you with wide eyes, a frown on her face. “(Y/N). I didn’t mean it like that..”

You let out a sigh, placing the candle in the middle of the cake. “I know you didn’t, Mary. I was just.. I’m just nervous. It was the first time I’ve seem him since the hospital.” You licked your lips, taking a deep breath.

Mary wrapped an arm around your shoulders, rubbing it slightly. “I’m sorry. You two are just a couple of those people who –“ Mary cut herself off, deciding that it’d be best to leave what she was to say up in the air.

”Who are we, Mary?”

Mary sighed, shaking her head a bit and turning her attention to the cake once again, “The couple of people who stay together.”

–

Sherlock was having a similar conversation with John about you. Alice had opened her gift, a magnifying glass, and was now biting on it. Sherlock had set her on the ground, but she remained sitting on his feet.

”We busted (Y/N) with drugs a while back. Mycroft then suggested we suggest she go to a therapist, so she’s going to one now. She runs in the afterno-“

”You think I don’t know what she does with her life now, John? You really think that Mycroft would suggest that? You think that I didn’t have her live with Molly because Molly would tell me how she is doing? I ask them every time. I ask them about her every chance I get. They tell me, much unlike what you and Mary have done.” Sherlock was getting frustrated, John realized. He had ruffled his hair, talked with his hands more. “I’m not a complete idiot, John. I know how she’s been doing. I have people of my network watching her whenever she’s out, making sure she’s okay. I know.. I know that she’s important to me. And I know that people don’t typically just forget about those they love.” Sherlock ended in a flush, casting his eyes down to Alice once again.

John remained quiet for a few moments, and Sherlock began to think that he was having a similar reaction to when he had come back from being “dead.” Sherlock glanced up when he heard John stand. Sherlock then began mentally preparing himself for whatever John was beginning to put against him. The detective raised his hands, opening his mouth to explain himself further.

John shook his head, waving off Sherlock’s speech. “I don’t know what I am.. But I’m not going to punch you.” He let out a sigh, shaking his head to think of how to say his next words correctly. “This is the first time you have mentioned loving someone, Sherlock. And if you have had a year to think of her, to think of what you have done to her, then you must be very, very sure of it..” John began walking towards the kitchen, thinking of a way to get you out into the living room. “You need to make it right with her.” Sherlock wordlessly nodded, eyes following Alice as she waddled after John. He didn’t see John as he disappeared into the kitchen, and you reentered the living room. His gaze was fixated on you, and your gaze was on Alice. You smiled down at the little girl, taking her up in your arms.

”Your daddy says you wanted something, love?” You began tickling Alice.

”That was actually me.” Sherlock spoke up, folding his hands in his lap. You looked over at him briefly, and then sat on the ground with Alice in your lap. She began to play with your hands, moving them up and down. “I.. Was hoping that we could have a conversation.”

”That’s typically what people do.”

”Yes, I know that. But I was hoping that we could talk about…” Sherlock blinked, unsure of how to continue. “Our relationship?” He suggested, testing the words out.

”Or lack thereof?”

Sherlock rolled his eyes, sighing a bit. “Yes, and that is my fault. What I’m trying to do is apologize for what I’ve done.”

A laugh escaped from your mouth, “Apologize? You’re just now going to apologize for the break up? A year later? That’s amazing, Sherlock.” He began to interrupt you, but you continued on, “I have been to a therapist, gone through drug tests, and have had someone constantly watching me this past year, and you are just going to apologize when you have been completely fine?”

”Completely fine?” Sherlock rose his eyebrows, unable to consider that you would say such a thing. Sherlock pulled out cigarettes from his coat, “Completely fine? How fine can I really be, (Y/N), when I have to have these with me? How fine can I be when I must have a case at every moment? How fine can I be that, when I don’t have a case, I have to find some other substance to distract me? How fine can I be when I have to make sure that you are alive and well at all times? How fine can I be when it hurts to not know where you are? Last time I checked whether or not I was ‘fine’, (Y/N), I wasn’t.”

Your mouth hung open, staring at Sherlock. “You made me leave, after I almost died for you. The thing that made me come back, was the thought that you, Sherlock Holmes, were in danger. I remembered that I needed to help you, so I fought it and I came back. I came back for you, and then you made me leave. So you tell me how I am supposed to be fine when I am forced to leave someone I was willing to die for.”

”(Y/N), I – “

”Save it, Sherlock.” You took Alice off your lap, standing up. You quickly went and grabbed your coat, keeping your head down so Sherlock wouldn’t see your tears. You threw on your coat, exiting the house and turning down the street quickly.

For a moment, Sherlock was unaware as to if he was supposed to follow you or not. If he didn’t, there was a chance that you would come back and understand. In the same token, there was a chance that you wouldn’t come back and you’d be lost to him forever. If he did follow you, he could explain his case, and he could possibly win you back. Even then there was still the possibility he could lose you. But he had to try.

”John! Mary! I’m running out after (Y/N). You need to come and watch your daughter.” Sherlock called out, dashing after you. He glanced around quickly, looking for your coat within the crowd of the sidewalk. Sherlock saw your head ducked down, coat pulled tightly around you. Once he properly deduced that it was you, he chased after you as if his life depended on it.

And in some strange sense, it did.


	16. Say Something

You were only focused on getting back to your apartment as quickly as possible. You kept your head down, knowing that tears were still sliding down your face. You fought to keep your breath even. You glanced up at the street signs, seeing that you were nearing your flat. You forced your legs to move quicker, knowing that your bed would welcome you gladly.

Suddenly there was an arm around your stomach, pulling you into an alleyway. Instantly you feared the worst and began kicking at the person. The person pushed you against the wall, allowing you to see their face. There, holding you against the brick wall, was Sherlock. His eyes had turned a shade darker of blue, and he was glaring at you. You immediately turned your gaze downwards so he wouldn’t see your tears.

”Bit dramatic, aren’t you?”

”I told you to leave me alone.” You began to walk away, but Sherlock pressed a hand to your stomach to force you to stay. At the contact, you instantly pulled away from him.

Sherlock took a step closer, thinking that you were going to run off again. He pushed you against the wall with his hand on your stomach again. “I need you to listen to me.”

Something in the way he said the words, in the place where he held his hand, triggered your memories. Your night terror and kidnapping began to bleed into your reality. You instantly became more terrified, and you raised your voice, “Let me go! Let me go! Leave me alone!” You screamed at Sherlock.

When you yelled, his face fell. His voice turned into a whisper when he spoke next, “What did he do to you to make you hate me so much?” His gaze then fell to where his hand was on your stomach, and he pulled it away quickly. “(Y/N), I’m sorry, I didn’t real-“ He had turned his eyes back to your face, only to see you crying harder than you were before. “(Y/N)… (Y/N), listen to me.”

”No! No, Sherlock! You listen to me. I loved you. I was willing to stay, even after the kidnapping. Even after I was almost murdered. I loved you, Sherlock Holmes, and you made me say goodbye to you.” You pressed your hand to your mouth in an effort to ease your sobs. “You made me leave, Holmes. I was safest with you. I was the most comfortable with you. I would’ve been able to heal properly without all of this absolute shit in my head, if I had been able to stay with you. But you made me leave and now I have to deal with all different kinds of things in my head.” You wiped your tears away with your hands, even as they continued to fall. “I have nightmares now, and my first instinct is to call you. I can’t do that, not when you did what you did. Especially not now that you’ve became a part of them.” You took a deep breath, shaking your head and laughing a bit, “It’s so stupid, I’ve seen so many things, and you’re the one that breaks me. Now you just stand there, not saying anything. Sherlock Holmes, you better say som-.”

Sherlock took your face into his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. “You need to shut up. (Y/N), you have to shut up and listen to me. I’m not good with human emotion.. I’m not good with thinking things out the human way. Having you leave was the most logical way that I could think would protect you.” You opened your mouth to speak, but Sherlock hushed you, continuing, “When the ambulance took you away, I thought for sure that you were going to die. You had lost so much blood, put through so many traumas – I genuinely did not believe that you would make it. When the doctors lost you for those few moments, they had the audacity to tell Mary, John, and I. I didn’t know what to do when they told us that you had passed. I was put through a whirlwind of emotion in those moments. I didn’t understand a single one of those emotions I was going through – the heartbreak, despair, and loss. There were so many more, but I don’t care to say them. I still truly do not understand what they were, and I don’t want to go through them ever again. When a nurse had come and told the doctor they had a heartbeat on you, my heart swelled up. You were alive. You had pulled through. Somehow, against all the odds, you were going to make it through. I was in a distraught state at that time. The emotions and chemicals going through my brain made it even harder for me to process it all.”

Sherlock paused for a moment, closing his eyes and looking as if he was collecting his thoughts. When he opened them, he continued on, “That’s when I thought that making you leave the most logical answer. It was an answer for a problem that didn’t need solving, as we both know now. When I went back to Bakers Street after I had sent you away, everything felt so empty. I felt so empty and no case or drug could fix it. And I didn’t understand why that was for a really, really long time after you were gone, but I understand it now. I felt empty, because with you, I was whole. I’m not good at being a human, and I don’t think I will ever be good at it, but with you – I can be better, and I am better with you. With you, you make me feel alive and like I’m nothing other than Sherlock Holmes. So those minutes I thought you were gone, I turned back into a machine and sent you away. Because I believed it was necessary in order to keep you alive. I was determined to not let anyone that close again. So close to the point that their loss absolutely broke me because I loved them so much.” Sherlock paused for a moment, licking his lips and looking helpless. You could only stare at him, feeling like a deer in the headlights. “(Y/N), I love you. Your safety and well-being is the thing that concerns me the most. Figuring that out took a very long time. I’m not much of a man of emotion, but with you, I know that I can feel love, because of what you have given me. And I promise you, if you’ll have me, I will never send you away again.”

You couldn’t understand. Sherlock Holmes, the machine, the detective without a heart, had just told you he loved you. Everything you had thought of Sherlock the year before disappeared from your memory, because here he was, making up for all of it. You knew that the pair of you were going to have a lot to work through. You were going to have to get through your nightmares and the withdrawals from drugs Sherlock was bound to face. But none of that mattered right now. Right now, it was simply you and Sherlock, and you were simply a couple trying to repair your relationship. The problems were going to come down the road, but you were going to get through them. Because it was just like Mary said, you were the couple who made it work out. You were going to stick together.

”Say it again.” You whispered.

”Which part?”

”You know which part.”

”I love you, (Y/N). I. Love. You.” Sherlock had a slight smile on his face, and you could feel one begin to grow on your own.

”You won’t send me away again?”

”Never again. That’s the most illogical thing I could ever do…” Sherlock trailed off when you began to laugh quietly. He shrugged a bit, carefully wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close. “I hope you stick with me for a very long time.”

”I plan on it, Holmes.” You murmured, putting your arms around his neck. Sherlock pulled you up slightly, forcing you onto the tips of your toes as he pressed a kiss to your lips. You didn’t realize how much you had missed kissing Sherlock Holmes until you were kissing Sherlock Holmes once again. You thought back to when you were kidnapped, and when you had tried to imagine how Sherlock kissed. He was gentle, sure of himself. His mouth curved a bit, but it was so that it could fit yours perfectly. As you continued to think about it, images of the memory began to bleed into the present. Instantly you pushed the thoughts away. Sherlock broke the kiss and set his forehead against yours.

”Good.”


	17. The Hardest Part

It was remarkably easy, falling back into the pattern. You and Sherlock had gone back to Mary and John’s for a while. You and the detective decided to tell Mary and John straightaway. Mary was ecstatic, but John took a while to come around to the idea. It wasn’t until you and Sherlock played with Alice that John finally accepted it. Alice was walking between you and Sherlock, trying to catch a ball that the pair of you were rolling back and forth on the floor. You were both playfully insulting each other, and Alice was giggling as she tried to catch the ball. Finally, you swept Alice into your arms, tickling her. It was when John saw Sherlock’s smile while looking at you and his daughter that he accepted that you two were together again.

You and Sherlock decided to leave after Alice had torn apart her birthday cake. She was now in dire need of a bath, and then she would be headed to bed. After giving hugs and kisses to the Watsons, you and Sherlock climbed into a cab together. There was a moment of silence when the cabbie asked for the address you two wanted to go.

”.. Do you want to come back to Baker’s Street? Spend the night?” Sherlock asked quietly, blue eyes shining through the headlights coming from behind the cab.

You slowly nodded, “But I have to go back to my flat.. Get clothes.” Sherlock’s smile shone through the darkness as you told the cabbie your address. He sped off towards where you had told him, and you felt Sherlock’s hand graze over your own. You took it, and Sherlock gave you a bit of a squeeze. You glanced over at him, he was staring out the window, his chin resting on his free hand.

”I’ll be back in a moment.” You murmured as the cab eased to a stop in front of your flat. You let go of Sherlock’s hand, opening the door of the vehicle.

”Give Molly my regards.” Sherlock smiled a bit up at you as you exited, closing the door of the cab. You rushed up the steps, unlocking the door. Molly sat on the couch in her nightie.

”How was Alice’s party?” Molly asked when she saw you were home. She turned down the volume on the television, smiling over at you.

”It was lovely. She really liked your gift.” You grinned, walking towards your room. “I’m going to go and stay at Sherlock’s tonight.” You called as you pulled a duffel from your closet, stuffing it with clothes.

”Oh, that’s ni –“ Molly seemed to catch onto what you said, because she let out a bit of a laugh, walking into your room. “So you two made up then?”

”A bit, yeah.” You smiled, walking towards your dresser. “We’re going to work on it.”

”It’ll work out.”

”You’re not the only one who’s said that.”

”Well that’s because it’s true. I’ve never seen anyone put up with him the way you have.” Molly sat down on the edge of your bed, watching you pack. “What are you going to do if you have another night terror?” You hesitated in your packing briefly.

”… I’ll take my medicine.” You glanced over at your nightstand where your prescriptions laid out. They were still fairly full because you preferred not to take them. You walked over to the stand, staring down at the bottles.

”Maybe they won’t happen, since he’ll be there.” Molly supplied when she saw your apprehension. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head immediately, smiling over at your friend, “Oh no, you didn’t. I probably should take them.. John would have a fit if I didn’t.” You stuffed the bottles into your bag, after you had finished; you turned to Molly, throwing on a smile. “I better get going then. He’s waiting in a cab outside.”

Molly came around the bed, giving you a hug. She wished you the best, and then sent you off back to Sherlock. As you climbed into the cab, you noticed that his face was aglow because of his mobile. You heard the faint clicks as his finger swept over the keys, texting someone. You told the driver to go ahead and head to Baker’s street. The cabbie eased the vehicle onto the street, heading in the direction of 221B.

”Did you bring your medication?” You jumped a bit at Sherlock’s question, unaware that he had known about them. You opened your mouth to ask how he knew, but then he shook his mobile at you. “John’s asking.”

”Oh..” You murmured, nodding your head. You turned to look out the window, feeling embarrassed. “Yeah, I brought them.” The rest of the cab ride was silent. Once the cabbie eased the cab to a stop once again, Sherlock paid him, and then got out of the car, quickly going around to open your door for you. He took your duffel from you, resting his hand on the small of your back as you walked inside.

”I didn’t realize that you were on medication.” Sherlock stated as he opened the door of 221B, leading the way upstairs.

”John and the therapist both recommended it. It’s because of my posttraumatic stress disorder. Apparently it’s a side effect of… what happened.” You swallowed a bit, taking off your coat and throwing it across the back of the sofa. It was harder to talk now about what had happened, now that you where standing were it all began. Sherlock set your duffel on the coffee table. He turned and you watched as his eyes swept over you.

”You’re tired.” He stated, not asking. You nodded a bit, unzipping your bag to pull out the sweatpants and t-shirt you had packed for your pyjamas. You noticed Sherlock smile a bit as he caught sight of them – they were much like the ones that you would wear when you first stayed here. Much like the ones that you stole from him. He went around and picked up his violin, beginning to play. You walked to the bathroom, changing quickly and avoiding looking at the mirror. Once you had finished changing, you went back to the living room, stuffing your clothes into the bag again.

You took a seat in your chair across from Sherlock’s, relishing the feel of it. You missed it quite a bit, you realized as you watched Sherlock play his violin once again. He had started a fire while you were gone. Now it was making it easier for you to fall asleep in the chair, like you had done so many times before. Sherlock noticed, setting his violin down and holding his hand out to you.

”Let’s get you to bed, love.” Sherlock smiled at you. You returned it slightly, feeling drowsy, and took his hand. Sherlock pulled you up, leading you back to his bedroom. He pulled back the covers for you, and you slid in, sliding over to the far side of the bed. You pulled the covers close to you, nuzzling in and watching Sherlock as he prepared for bed. He changed into his blue pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt. Ruffling his hair a bit, he tugged the covers away from you, and then lay down next to you. “You better share.” He murmured, chuckling. He reached behind him and tugged the light off. His hand traced patterns against your arm again, igniting a series of goosebumps along your skin.

You smiled at him in the darkness, moving closer to him, “I fully intend to.” You pressed your hand to your mouth as you yawned.

Sherlock kissed you quickly, “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

”Goodnight, Sherlock.” You replied, already falling asleep. Sherlock set his arm along your waist and then fell asleep as well.

–

You were laying down on a cold, metal table. You tried to lift yourself off of it, but straps held you down across your body. The feeling of panic washed over you, and your breathing began to quicken. You turned your head back and forth, trying to figure out where you were, but you couldn’t figure out anything – the room was stark white all around. Unnaturally clean. It was happening again. Another night terror was taking over your mind, and you fought to make it disappear. Closing your eyes, you took deep breaths to try and make it leave.

”Oh, come now, darling.. Let me see those eyes.” A voice whispered in your ear. Your eyes sprung open and you allowed a gasp to free itself from your lips as your eyes met Moriarty’s. You felt tears begin to prick at your eyes as the feeling of being pinched entered your mind. You glanced down and saw Moriarty’s hand against your skin. “Thought you had gotten rid of me, eh? John Watson’s not here to save you now…”You let out a shaky breath, turning your face away as he said the words. Your blood ran cold as the feeling of cold metal ran across your stomach. Moriarty used his free hand to move your face, forcing you to look at him. “No, no.. (Y/N), it’s very important that you look at me while you do this. You need to look at me, or..” He let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head, “Or I’m going get very, very angry. And I don’t want that to happen to you, dear.”

A whimper passed through your lips as he applied more pressure to his work. You bit back your tongue as a plea for him to stop bubbled up in your throat. No, you wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

”Oh, come on dear. Talk to me.”Jim began to pout, “This is so boring when we don’t talk.. Maybe you need a bit of inspiration…”Jim trailed off as he brought up his knife, moving it up a bit as he began a new cut. Dark spots flooded your eyes as you gripped the table beneath you.

”Get away from me!” You screeched, head slamming against the table. Moriarty let out a dark chuckle as he continued. “Leave me alone!” You sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut.

”Oh, don’t be dramatic.” Sherlock’s voice came from next to you, and you began to sob harder as you realized what would come next. Moriarty handed Sherlock the knife, and Sherlock took it in his hands, adjusting his grip, “If you weren’t so dramatic, you wouldn’t be in this.”

”(Y/N), wake up.” You looked around as the new voice entered the room, trying to see who it was coming from. Sherlock and Moriarty appeared not to have heard it, and you bit your tongue as Sherlock pressed the knife to your skin once again. “Pay attention to my voice, come back to me.” You began to shake on the table, “Wake up, (Y/N), it’s just a dream. Wake up.”

You jolted awake instantly, feeling cold. You had pushed the covers away from you while you were asleep, and your hands were red from gripping onto the sheets so tightly. You forgot where you were for a moment, but the shift on the bed made you look up, and you instantly remembered. You flinched away from Sherlock as he came into focus. His hair was disarray, eyes clear and dilated. He raised his hands in surrender as you flinched away.

”You’re okay, I’m not going to hurt you. You only had a night terror.” He talked quietly, not wanting to upset you. You pressed a hand to your face, realizing it was wet. You had cried in your sleep again. Tears clouded your vision as you remembered the dream again. You curled away from Sherlock, folding in on yourself. You felt Sherlock’s hand brush against your skin hesitantly, and you flinched away again. “What did I do, (Y/N)? Tell me what I did.” Sherlock whispered, and you took deep breaths to calm yourself down. After a few minutes, you laid yourself out again, looking at the detective. He looked upset, staying away from you.

”You helped him.” You bit your lip, trying not to cry. “You helped Moriarty try to kill me.”

”Was it your stomach?” Sherlock asked, eyes flickering to the bottom of your shirt where your stomach was covered. You nodded, staring up at the ceiling. Sherlock shifted his weight, moving closer. “May I?” His hand hovered over your shirt, eyes searching to make sure it was okay he touched you. You nodded, unable to make eye contact with him. You felt Sherlock move your shirt up, and you watched as he looked at your stomach. You had an ugly white scar that went across your lower abdomen. “What do I do? In your dream?” Sherlock asked, still talking quietly.

”You cut me. In the same place he does.” You murmured, closing your eyes briefly. You then felt Sherlock press his lips against the scar, and you let out a gasp, looking down at him.

He continued to press kisses along the scar, talking in between them, “I. Would. Never. Hurt. You. Surely you must know that now.” Sherlock looked up at you, his breath warming your skin. His hands moved onto your upper abdomen, tracing your curves. You could only stare at him, unable to believe that he was actually doing what he was doing. You felt warmth at the bottom of your belly, and you held your breath as he moved upwards, still pressing kisses to your skin. He stopped as he reached your chest. That was as far as he originally pushed up your shirt.

You gripped his arms, pulling Sherlock up to you. He shifted his weight onto one arm, wiping away your tears with the other. He was directly over you, and you traced your fingers along his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. You pushed your hand into his hair, gripping it. You pulled away from the kiss, keeping close to Sherlock. You could feel his hot breath running across your lips. You took a deep breath, taking in his closed eyes and flushed cheeks. You imagined you looked the same, but this was the way it was supposed to be.

If you were going to recover, if you were going to get past your demons, you were going to have to push yourself to get better. You were going to have to force yourself to go into situations that made you uncomfortable. You had a problem with being touched, and, most specifically, you had a problem with being touched by Sherlock. The leftover adrenaline from your dream mixed with the new adrenaline you had now allowed you to get this far, and you couldn’t stop now. If you were going to heal, you needed him to continue. Moriarty’s memory had taken away your comfort, but the possibility of a new memory with Sherlock could overcome it. You felt your cheeks flush more as you came to your conclusion. You closed your eyes, pressing a hasty kiss to Sherlock’s lips before speaking next.

”Keep going.”


	18. Fix You

”You forgot to take your medicine. You’re using me as a distraction.” Sherlock’s voice came out in a chuckle as he moved away from you. He wouldn’t meet your eyes as he stood up off the bed. “I’ll go and get it for you. Maybe then you’ll sleep.” He ducked out of the room, leaving you on the bed with your cheeks flushed.

You scrambled to go after him. “Sherlock, no. I..” You cleared your throat as you watched Sherlock search through your duffel. “I was being serious. I need –“

”To take your medicine.” Sherlock pulled the pill bottles out of your bag, turning to you, “Here you are.”

”Sherlock, stop. You’re not listening.” You reached out a hand to stop Sherlock from moving passed you, but he dodged it. Sherlock’s cheeks were flushed a bit as well, and he still had yet to meet your eyes since leaving the bedroom. You let out a huff of breath, frowning at him. “Sherlock, please, just listen..”

”What you were asking me to do was ridiculous.” Sherlock muttered, getting you a glass of water.

Your eyebrows rose, “What? Asking you touch me? Hol-“

”Just stop talking about it.” Sherlock’s voice rose as he continued talking. You gripped onto one of the kitchen chairs to prevent yourself from taking a step backwards. You wouldn’t allow him to push you away, not this time, and you weren’t going to allow yourself to move away. Sherlock seemed to realize what he had done, because he took a seat in one of the kitchen chairs, putting his face into his hands. “I just.. I don’t understand it, how it could help you. And I don’t.. I don’t know how to…” Sherlock trailed his sentence off, knowing you could fill in the blanks. His cheeks were burning red. You stifled a laugh, pressing your hand to your mouth once again. Sherlock let out a frustrated groan, “I’m being serious, (Y/N), don’t laugh.”

You sat down across from Sherlock, taking his hands away from his face and holding them in your own. “I know you are.” You murmured, and he looked up at you. You squeezed his hands, licking your lips. “It’s just.. Sherlock, I’m scared when you touch me. You saw how I flinched away from you after that dream – how I acted towards you. I don’t want to act like that, and that’s why I’m asking. I’m okay when I’m the one who first touches you, because I can control that, but it’s not always going to be like that. I think you and I both know that. That’s why I told you to keep going, because..” You took a deep breath, shaking your head, “Because I need to lose control of what’s going to happen next, if I’m going to get past what happened. You’re a soldier, Sherlock, I’m a warzone.” Sherlock met your gaze then, eyebrows raised. You felt your own cheeks begin to heat up, “Please don’t make me keep talking about this.”

”The idea, dear God, the idea of it startles me.”

”I figured that bit out when you left me in there.” You smiled, and Sherlock shook his head, smiling too.

He let go of your hand, running a hand over his face. “Are you sure it’s going to help you?” He cleared his throat, looking at you through his fingers.

You shrugged a bit, “I’m not sure of anything at this point. It might, it might not.”

”I..” Sherlock cleared his throat a bit, sighing, “You might have to tell me what to do sometimes.”

Thoughts ran through your head, and you felt a new heat rush over your cheeks again. You looked your detective over, taking in his bedhead of hair, his clear blue eyes. Your eyes then traveled over his lips that were still covered partially by his fingers – they were still a darker pink than usual, from the kissing you two had done earlier. You could feel your chest tighten at the thought of everything that could happen, everything that would happen. When you spoke next, your voice came out a bit higher than usual, slightly strained, “I don’t think I will.”

What you said seemed to start some sort of fire in Sherlock. After you said those words, he looked up at you, and you watched as he transformed into an entirely different person. His blue eyes became darker, and a smirk formed on his lips as he looked you over. You shifted in your seat, trying not to show how affected you were by his gaze now. Sherlock stood up, walking over to your seat and offering you his hand.

”We’re going to fix you.” He murmured as you took his hand. Sherlock pulled you up to him, wrapping an arm around your back to pull you closer. You could feel the heat radiating off of him, feel his chest as he took deep breaths. His eyes traveled all around your face, making sure that you were okay, making sure that he was doing everything right so far. Your mouth had opened a bit, and Sherlock figured that you were going to begin talking again. No, he couldn’t have that, so he quickly captured your mouth in a kiss, sweeping you up into his arms. You broke the kiss as you let out a gasp, but Sherlock quickly pressed his lips to yours once again. He leaned you against the wall as he fumbled with the doorknob to his bedroom door, and you took the opportunity to press kisses to his neck. Sherlock groaned a bit as he finally opened the door, readjusting his grip on you as he carried you into the room. He swiftly shut the door with his foot before laying you down on the bed.

Sherlock slid his hands under your shirt as he leaned over you. He pressed kisses along your chin as he pushed it up. He paused briefly when he slipped it over your head. You held your breath as his gaze fell onto your chest. You hadn’t worn a bra to bed, so you were laying there in your full glory when Sherlock pulled your shirt over your head. He tossed it behind him, eyes still tracing over your upper half. You began to move your arms to cover your chest, but Sherlock pressed them down into the bed, shaking his head as he met your gaze.

“Don’t.” He whispered quietly. Sherlock pressed a kiss to your lips, a slight smile on your face. “You’re absolutely beautiful, (Y/N). Don’t hide.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in things like that?” Your breathing had eased once Sherlock began to speak. You licked your lips a bit, gripping the sheet beneath you.

“And I didn’t believe in love either.” Sherlock pressed a kiss to your jaw, and you let out a bit of a gasp. “But you seem to have changed that as well.” He chuckled a bit, moving his lips to your neck then to your collarbone, peppering your skin with kisses all the way. He lifted his lips off your skin when you gripped his hair, “I wonder..” You heard him murmur quietly before you felt him take your skin between his teeth, sucking it gently.

“Sherlock.” You gasped, back arching closer to him. He let go of your skin, leaning up to expect his handiwork. He rubbed the area with his thumb, smiling down.

“Beautiful.” He murmured. Judging by his reaction, you knew that you were going to have a hickey there tomorrow. Good thing that you brought a sweater to wear to work the next day. You moved your hands to the bottom of his shirt, tugging it upwards.

“You’re wearing too many clothes, detective.” You grinned up at him, pulling the shirt over his head and pressing your own kiss to his neck. You sucked on his skin, leaving your own mark on him. Sherlock gasped as you bit on him. He gently pushed you away, reclaiming your lips. You felt his tongue run across your bottom lip, asking for entry, which you gladly gave him. Sherlock’s hands ran up and down your sides slowly before you took them into your own hands, resting them onto your breasts. He broke the kiss once you completed the motion, looking down at you. You rested your hands on his hips, waiting for him to make the next move. You were both breathing rather heavily, skin warm from each other. Sherlock then looked down at his hands, unsure of what to do. You watched as his mouth opened, beginning to ask you what he should do. But then he promptly closed it, and squeezed your breasts gently. You let out a bit of a gasp, fingernails clawing into your hips.

Sherlock chuckled, murmuring, “Noted.”

You shook your head, breathing heavier now. You could feel the heat in between your legs; he had to keep moving. You slipped your hands into his pajama bottoms, fingers slipping through the waistband of his pants. “You better keep moving, Holmes.”

The detective shook his head in return, moving his hands to your arms, pulling them out and pinning them down to the bed once again. “I believe you said I was in charge, (Y/N).” Sherlock held a smirk on his face, and you swallowed a bit. You squeezed your legs together briefly, but he shook his head, parting them with his knee and placing himself between them. “We won’t be having any of that…”

And that was the moment where everything began to melt together. Your mind changed the scene around you, changing Sherlock’s bed into the metal table you typically began your night terrors in. Sherlock’s hands became the straps that held you down. You let out another gasp.

“Sherlock, Sherlock, it’s coming back.” You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to let the memory take over your mind. You felt the weight lessen on your arms, and felt warmth across your face.

“Stay with me, (Y/N). Listen to me. You can fight it. You’re strong, my love. Fight them.” Sherlock’s voice called out to you, but it was different than before. It was muffled now. “Open your eyes. Look at me. Focus on me.” You opened your eyes and saw Sherlock’s face in front of your own. You let out a sigh of relief, pressing your face into Sherlock’s neck. “You have to beat this yourself. You have to tear apart this environment yourself.”

You then knew what you had to do. Change the environment. You smiled against Sherlock’s skin, wiggling your arms out of their traps. You wrapped your arms around Sherlock’s neck, moving your face up to push another kiss to his lips. He let out a surprised gasp, and you silently congratulated yourself for doing so. He seemed to understand what you were trying to do then. If you were going to change the environment, you were going to have to add something Moriarty tried so hard to rid you of: love.

You threw your legs around Sherlock’s waist, pulling him closer. You could feel him, all of him, against your center and you had to pull away from the kiss. Sherlock sat himself up a bit, pulling your pajama bottoms off and taking his own off as well. Both of you were left only in your underwear now. Sherlock licked his swollen, now-red lips, taking in your figure.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, running a hand through your hair gently. You nodded your head. Reality already had began to fall in on your mind, the table underneath you had Sherlock’s sheets on it, and the wall decor of Sherlock’s room began to appear around the white-walled room.

“Yes.” You continued to nod, a smile on your face. Sherlock returned the smile as he captured your lips in a kiss once again. You took the initiative and removed Sherlock of his underwear. He then followed suit, riding you of your own. You both paused for a moment, taking care to note that you were actually going to go through with this.

Sherlock let out a bit of a chuckle, pushing his face into your shoulder. You raised your eyebrows, hand going into his dark curls. “What’s so funny?”

“Well, after tonight, Mycroft’s going to lose something to make fun of me of.” You could feel Sherlock’s smile against your skin as he said the words. You let out a soft giggle too, because he was right. After tonight, Mycroft would no longer be able to tease him over his virginity. Your laughter died quietly as you stroked his hair.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You whispered quietly. Sherlock moved his head off of your shoulder, searching your eyes for the source of your uncertainty.

“Of course I do. (Y/N), have you not figured it out yet? Everything that I am, romantically, it’s all because of you. You’re all that there is. You’re all that I have ever been even remotely attracted to. Your mind has figured out so many things, yet you haven’t figured that out yet.” He smiled when he saw your mouth hang open. He tapped on your chin, kissing your cheek. “Are you done talking now?” You could only nod slowly, smiling as your mind began to take up more of Sherlock’s room into the white room.

“Keep going.” It was the second time you had murmured the words tonight, and this time Sherlock didn’t move away. You watched as his eyes darkened again, kissing you again as he shifted so he was completely lined up with you. As he began to slide himself in, you pulled away from the kiss, inhaling a breath sharply as he filled you. You watched as his pupils dilated, mouth opened slightly. He stilled himself, allowing the both of you to adjust. You pushed his curls off of his forehead, only for them to spill back over again. Your hand then moved to the side of his face, which he pushed himself into.

“Christ..” He murmured, eyes meeting yours. “I can see why this is so popular.” You rolled your eyes slightly, pulling him down for a kiss. Sherlock then began to roll his hips, causing you to moan softly. He raised his eyebrows at your moan, slightly making his pace quicker.

You gripped his back, digging your nails into it slightly, “Sherlock.” His name came out as a yell, making him smirk. Your head fell back onto the table as you realized he was actually teasing you. The bastard - he was learning quickly. You squeezed yourself around his shaft, causing Sherlock’s pace to stutter briefly as a moan burst through his lips. You smirked at him now as he continued to thrust into you.

Suddenly, the sex became a competition. Sherlock pushed his hand in between the pair of you, moving towards your lower half. Your eyes widened as he began to rub your clit in circles. You pulled him down to you quickly, lips attacking his. Because dammit, you weren’t going to lose to Sherlock, especially since it was his first time.

As you two both neared your climaxes, the white wall around you and Sherlock began to crumble. The walls came tumbling down, replaced with the walls of Sherlock’s bedroom. You and Sherlock had warmed the table, and now it was back to Sherlock’s bed. Your prison was falling away, after months of suffering, it was finally leaving your memory. And in place of it, everything was beginning to be filled with Sherlock.

You move your head down to his shoulder again as his pace stutters again. He’s breathing much heavier now, and you know he’s close. His head falls a bit, and you can hear his pants in your ear as he continues on. And then, he climaxes, his pace stuttering for the final time as he breathes your name into your ear. You follow right after him, calling out his name. As you two ride off your climaxes, he eases himself out. He rests himself onto of your body slightly, head on your heaving chest. You run your hands through his sweaty curls as he wraps his arms around you.

You feel him press a kiss to your shoulder, “Better? Is it gone?” His questions send tears of relief to your eyes. He’s already asking if you’re feeling better, and you know that he truly cares for you.

“It’s gone.” You murmured quietly, relaxing into his grip. “It’s gone.” You say again, smiling, and you press a kiss to Sherlock’s head. “Thank you.”

“I love you.” He says suddenly, and you can feel his smile against your skin again. You hope you can feel it every day, his smile and this emotion conveyed by him. You nod, and then realize that he can’t see you.

“I love you too.”

And then the two of you fall asleep like that. You wrapped up in the detective’s arms, and, for the first time in a long time, you don’t have any nightmares that force you awake in the night. You sleep peacefully because everything is falling back into place, and you don’t have anything to worry about anymore.

When you woke up the next morning, you were still warm. The sun had peaked through the curtains, and you stretched yourself out, noticing that Sherlock wasn’t there. You could hear the low murmur of voices, and you sat up, covering yourself with the blanket. You looked to the nightstand and saw a piece of paper with Sherlock’s scrawl of handwriting on it. You picked it up, reading it in the sunlight.

(Y/N), good morning. Your medication for the morning is beside the glass of water, if you choose to take it. I asked Mrs. Hudson to make you a breakfast, if you’d like it; however, she insists that you stop downstairs to chat with her while you eat. Seems she’d like to talk to you. Anyways, come out whenever you’re ready, dear. And by the way, Mycroft is visiting. Make sure you come out looking decent. Don’t want to give him a heart attack.

Yours,

Sherlock.

You laughed at the letter, slowly climbing out of the bed. You looked around for your clothes but couldn’t seem to find them. Luckily, Sherlock had left you your duffel in the room. You dug around and pulled out the outfit you were going to wear that day. You checked your phone, looking at the time to make sure you weren’t late for work. You still had two hours before they needed you. You changed into your clothes quickly, pausing briefly when you realized that you were sore. You smiled as you finger-combed through your hair, opening the bedroom door and stepping out to meet the Holmes boys.

Sherlock spotted you first, a faint smile on his face as he made eye contact with you. Mycroft turned to face you, eyes skimming over you and then nodding to you.

”Good morning, (Y/N). You look much better than when I last saw you.” Mycroft looked up at you as you passed by. You took a seat on the arm of Sherlock’s chair, nodding back to the older brother.

”That’s because I am better from the last time you saw me.” You smiled a bit at Mycroft before turning your attention to Sherlock. “Good morning.” You kissed his forehead as Sherlock set his arm around you.

”Morning. Sleep well?”

”Very well.”

”That’s quite the hickey you have there, brother.” Mycroft’s voice rang out, and you laughed quietly. You took Sherlock’s chin in your hand, lifting it to see the purple mark. It was small but still very noticeable. You raised your eyebrows at him, releasing his chin as you stood up.

”I wonder how that could’ve gotten there. You better use deduction to figure that one out, Sherlock.” You feigned innocence, taking your coat into your arms.

He rolled his eyes at you, “Where are you going?”

”Breakfast. Work. I’ll be at the hospital if you need me.” You smiled at the detective, bending a bit to give him a quick kiss. He returned the smile as you pulled away. You walked by Mycroft, patting him on the shoulder as you passed. “Always a pleasure, Mycroft.”

”Believe me, the pleasure is all my brother’s.”

You met Sherlock’s eyes once again over Mycroft’s head. You nodded, grinning at the younger Holmes as you began to leave the flat, “It is, isn’t it?”


	19. The Reason

”So how was it?” You were sitting with Molly in the morgue while you were on your lunch break. You had just taken a bite of your sandwich when Molly asked the question. You coughed, trying not to choke on the food.

”I’m sorry?” You wiped at your mouth with a napkin. You kept the piece pressed to your mouth, hiding your flushed cheeks. You still yet to tell Molly what had happened last night.

Molly was looking at you strangely now, turning her gaze back to the body she was observing. “I asked how well your sleepover at Sherlock’s went. I figure it must’ve not been too bad..” Molly trailed off as she took a piece of metal out of the deceased’s wound.

”Oh..” You murmured, letting out a laugh. “Yeah, it went really well.”

”Any nightmares?”

”Just one.”

”Did Sherlock help you with them?” Molly grinned, slipping off her rubber gloves and washing her hands. She shook them off, wiping them with a towel as she walked towards you.

”Yeah,” You smiled, looking down at your sandwich and chips, “He distracted me.”

”Did he?” Molly asked, sitting down across from you, “How’d he do that? I could never distract you well enough.. Maybe he can give me some pointers.” Your face flushed red as Molly finished her statement.

You tried to suppress giggles as you began to speak, “I’d really prefer you didn’t.” You pressed a hand to your face at Molly’s quizzical look. Taking a breath, you simply shook your head at her. Picking up your trash, you tossed it in the garbage.

”What did yo –“ Realization washed over Molly’s face, “Ohh… Wow. You two really?” She raised her eyebrows, giggling at you and your flushed face.

”I have to get back to work.” You squeaked out, gathering your things quickly.

”Oh, you can’t go now! (Y/N), you have to give me the details! Was he any good?” Molly whispered out the last bit as the lab door swung open. Sherlock came striding in, and you didn’t even try to suppress the smile that spread across your face.

”I’m going to work, Molly.” You tucked your charts against your chest, readjusting your bag as you began to walk out of the room. You nodded to Sherlock, “Hey, Sherlock.”

Sherlock’s mouth quirked up a bit, bending to press a kiss to your cheek, “Hello, (Y/N)… Oh, I’m supposed to ask – are you staying the night again? John and Mary were wanting to go out for dinner together, so Alice needs a sitter, and..”

You cut Sherlock off, nodding, simply saying, “Yes.” Sherlock’s eyes travelled over your face, taking in your lab coat and stethoscope, he opened his mouth again to speak, but you shook your head, moving around him. “I’ve got to get back to my patients.”

”They’re only children.”

”Sick children, dear.” You smiled at the detective, nodding to Molly. “Thanks for listening, Molly. I’ll tell you more later.” You winked at her, earning a confused look from Sherlock and a delighted giggle from Molly. Your pager went off in your pocket, and you readjusted your hold on your charts, looking down to see what it read. You murmured a goodbye as you walked quickly back to the pediatric ward.

You set your charts down on the nurses’ station, bursting through the patient’s room. “What do we have?” You asked one of the nurses, putting yourself back into “doctor” mode. As you began to work on your patient, everything you were thinking of prior blotted itself out.

–

You let out a breath of relief as you pushed open the black door of 221B. Your day had been filled with surgeries and sick children, leaving you in a tired state. You gripped the stairway banister tightly as you made your way up the stairs, afraid that you would lose your balance. You reached the top of the stairs and pushed open the door to the flat, a smile breaking out across your face as Sherlock turned from the wall with the yellow smiley face to look at you. Strapped to his chest in one of those ridiculous holders was Alice. You snorted (much to your own personal horror) when you saw the pair.

Sherlock frowned, looking down at Alice, “John and Mary insisted I wear it, since I’m working on a case.” He gestured towards the wall covered in photos, “That way I don’t forget her..”

”I’m just astounded that you acutally put the thing on.” Stepping closer, you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips, avoiding crushing Alice. “You’re the only person who could wear that and still look attractive, by the way.” You grinned at the man before turning your attention to the little girl, “Well hello there, Al!” You unbuckled her from the carrier, swinging her in your arms. “And have you been having a fun time with Uncle Sherlock?” Alice garbled an unintelligible reply, but her smile on her face told that she had a fun time being strapped to the chest of Sherlock. You smiled, “And would you like Uncle Sherlock to take a break and watch a movie with his two favorite girls?” You asked the question when you noticed Sherlock turn his attention back to the photos. At the sound of you saying his name, he turned back.

”(Y/N), I have to work on the case.” He whined, holding one of the photographs in his hands. “I would have finished it earlier, but someone needed a bath..” His eyes trailed over Alice before looking back up at you, “Can’t I work on this?”

You took a seat on the couch, in front of the wall where Sherlock needed his full attention. He sighed and you grinned, “Oh come on now, Holmes, it’ll be just a bit of a break. I’m sure you’ll figure it out during the movie. And besides, this is the first time we’re watching our niece together!”

”That doesn’t matter at all, we’ll do that together plenty enough later. This case isn’t something that can be repeated.” Sherlock murmured, eyes narrowed at you. You frowned at him, sighing a bit. You watched as his gaze trailed down to Alice, who was whimpering in your lap. You guessed that she had begun to look like she would cry, because Sherlock sat down then. “Fine.”

You smiled at Alice, “Great job, love.” You placed her in Sherlock’s lap, standing up and going over to the television that was hidden in the corner of the living room. You picked up the DVD case of Alice’s current favorite movie – Cinderella. Sherlock rolled his eyes at the movie selection, but didn’t say a word; instead he used his fingers to play with Alice’s toes as she lay on his back. You picked up a blanket off one of the chairs, draping it over the three of you before sitting next to Sherlock. You rested your feet against the coffee table, head resting on Sherlock’s shoulder as the story began.

–

When the movie was over, you and Alice were both out like lights. Sherlock stayed in his position; mind traveling over every detail he had been given about his case. It wasn’t until someone had snapped their fingers in front of his face that Sherlock realized John and Mary had returned to pick up Alice. Sherlock gently lifted Alice off of his chest, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he handed her over to Alice. Sherlock, Mary, and John briefly talked about the case before the Watsons left (John with the promise he’d be back tomorrow to help Sherlock).

When silence rang throughout 221B again, Sherlock looked down at you, running a hand through his hair. You were lying completely still, taking deep, slow breaths as you slept. You weren’t having any bad dreams, Sherlock knew, because you had yet to make any noise during your slumber. Sherlock smiled a bit, as he knew he was the cause of this. He was very proud of himself over the fact. Stifling a yawn, he knew that it would be necessary to get you (and himself) into the bedroom to sleep.

Standing up carefully, as to not disturb you, Sherlock debated how he was going to get you back into the bedroom. He tucked one arm behind your shoulders, the other behind your knees as he carefully picked you up in his arms. You shifted closer to Sherlock with the movement, face pressing into his neck. Sherlock gave a faint chuckle, walking back towards the bedroom.

You shifted again, opening your eyes and looking up at Sherlock, “Where are we going?” Your voice slurred, still drowsy with sleep.

”We’re going to bed, love. Go back to sleep.” Sherlock whispered, walking around to your side of the bed. You nodded a bit, closing your eyes again as he set you down on the bed underneath the sheets. You pulled them up to your chin, curling up in them. Sherlock walked back to his side, changing out of his suit quickly. Luckily, you had elected to switch into a black pair of sweats and a blue t-shirt after showering at work, so Sherlock didn’t need to worry about your clothing. He crawled into the bed after you, turning off the bedside lamp in the process.

His head was still racing through his mind as he tried to figure out the answer to his new murder case. Was it the maid? The arrogant son? The wife who was having an affair? He needed to narrow it down. He needed to focus. Sherlock turned on his side and met your sleeping face. Smiling a bit, he tucked your hair behind your ear. He was then able to begin narrow down the suspects. It was what he discovered before, he realized, solving things was easier when you were there by his side. The thought made Sherlock’s shoulders shake with laughter.

So long Sherlock had believed that love and sentiment were a distraction, but here, having you with him, he knew that was wrong. He was wrong to think because, with you here, he was able to focus even more. You were able to cease the endless stream of activity in the sociopath’s mind. You were the substance that created these effects, not any combination of drugs. Sherlock wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.

Your eyelids fluttered open briefly. You caught sight of the detective and a sloppy, tired smile appeared on your lips. “Love you.” You whispered quietly, nuzzling yourself into Sherlock’s chest.

Sherlock smiled, hands moving to play with your hair gently. In those moments, he realized that you were it for him. You were even more than it for him. You were his, and he wouldn’t ever let anyone take away what was his. This fiery goddess he held in his arms now was melting down his heart of steel. He couldn’t let you get away, not ever, not now.

And so he pressed a kiss to your forehead, mentally creating a vow to himself to never leave you nor let you leave him. “Love you too, (Y/N).” Sherlock murmured before he allowed his mind to shut down, pressing his face into your hair as he fell asleep.


	20. Claiming What's Mine

You woke the next morning to an empty left side of the bed. You didn’t think much of it, knowing Sherlock must have gotten up to work on his case. You got yourself out of the bed, picking up the jeans and sweater you had planned on wearing that day. Peering through the curtains, you gazed up at the gray London sky who held the promise of rain today. You exited the bedroom, heard the footsteps of Sherlock in the living room, and entered the bathroom. You turned on the water for a bath, pulling your pajamas afterwards. You eased yourself into the tub, letting out a bit of a sigh as the warm water eased over you.

The door of the bathroom squeaked open, and Sherlock entered through it, promptly sitting down on the toilet seat. “What are you doing today?”

”Morning to you, too.” You smiled a bit, sitting up so your back was against the tub wall. “I was planning on running down to the market. Picking up some food, since you seem to have forgotten you need it.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes a bit, grinning nonetheless, “How about you go out on a case with me?”

You shook your head, “No, you really do need food, Holmes.” You tilted your head to the side a bit, taking in his appearance. “Are you okay?”

”Of course I am. Why would you ask that?”

”Well, last time you came into the bathroom while I was bathing, you were high. And..” You narrowed your eyes a bit, “Your pupils are dilated again. I’m just curious.”

Sherlock chuckled, shaking his head. He moved so he was sitting next to the bathtub, turned towards you. “Last time I was high, yes. But last time we also weren’t dating nor had I ever seen you naked before.” You smiled as he rolled up his sleeves, pushing his hand into the water to hold yours. “The reason my pupils are dilated this time is because my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend is sitting before me stark naked.” He chuckled again, leaning in to give you a kiss, “What kind of boyfriend would I be if my brain didn’t create some sort of reaction to this wondrous sight?”

”Mm.. Probably a very bad one. You’re learning well, dear.” You smiled as Sherlock nodded his head, pressing his lips to yours.

–

Sherlock whined a bit more after your bath, trying to convince you to go and observe the scene with him. However, with the promise that you’d help him if he brought the case back to the flat, his whining ceased as you two parted ways. You took a cab to the supermarket, taking up a cart to fill it with the necessary groceries.

An hour later, you emerged with four large bags of groceries. You flagged down a cab and headed back to the flat. After a bit of a struggle with the main door, you pushed your way into the main entry. You let out a bit of a sigh, looking up at the stairs you still had to go up with two bags of groceries on each arm. You shook your head a bit, muttering that you had been through worse before. You trudged your way up the stairs, pausing briefly when you heard the sound of footsteps in the flat.

You pushed the door open with your shoulder, “You can’t poss- Who are you?” You dropped the bags at your feet in the doorway, raising an eyebrow at the person in question. A woman with dark hair stood at the bookshelf, holding one of the books in her hands. It was turned open to a page, and her red nails were trailing along it. She was wearing a purple dress that hugged her curves, and black stilettos that you couldn’t even imagine wearing. She turned towards you, eyebrow raised, an amused expression on her face.

”Oh, are you his new pet?” She snapped the book close, sliding it back into its place.

”I’m sorry? Pet? I believe you need to leave.” You crossed your arms over your chest, taking another step into the room.

”I’m actually not leaving until I see Sherlock. Could you be a love and call him up for me? Tell him the Woman’s waiting.”

You scoffed, throwing your coat across the back of the couch in its usual spot. “Sorry, he’s busy with a case.” You took a seat in his chair, knowing she would take it if she had the chance.

”Of course he is. I’ll just wait here then.” She sat herself in the chair across from you. “Who are you to him? Friend? Unrequited love?”

You could feel the anger swell up inside of you. You shook your head again, “Entirely wrong. Who are you to him?”

”The woman who beat him.” You snorted, and she raised an eyebrow at you, “Something funny?”

”Well, I hardly doubt you could beat Sherlock Holmes in those stilettos.”

”You would be surprised what I could do in these, actually. I’ve ruined countries with these. Would you like to see?”

”Nope.” You popped the ‘p’, “I’m actually not interested in you at all.”

”That’s actually what Sherlock said, in the beginning, too.” The woman smirked at you, then turned her attention to the rest of you. You watched her eyes go across your body, and you rolled your eyes as your realized what she was doing. She was actually trying to deduce you. Shaking your head a bit, you allowed your eyes to roam her as well.

Uses body to get what she wants. Dominant. Clever. Hasn’t been in London for years. In hiding. Enjoys intelligence. Enjoys Sherlock. Enjoys believing that she could actually beat Sherlock.

”You live here.” Her voice pushed you out of your deductions. You smirked a bit, spreading your hands open, palms up.

”Basically.” You tapped your fingers against the armchair, crossing your legs. You heard the faint sound of the main entry door open and slam shut. You smiled a bit, hearing the sound of footsteps up the stairs. The woman raised an eyebrow at your smile. You turned your gaze towards the door, feeling a hint of satisfaction as the woman did the same.

“(Y/N), you’re going to love this case. It was – “ Sherlock burst through the door, stopping short of tripping over the grocery bags as his gaze fell upon the scene in front of him. His eyes travelled to yours, moving to you, “Are you okay?”  
”Just fine, love.” You smiled up at him, fingers nudging his own. His eyes ran over your face, making sure. He nodded slightly then, turning his attention to the woman across from you.

”What are you doing here, Irene?” Irene. Now you were getting somewhere.

”You have a girlfriend now, Sherlock?” Irene raised her eyebrows. She looked at you again, looking genuinely surprised.

You shrugged, smirking at her now, “Guilty.” Sherlock turned towards you, looking surprised at your tone. You shrugged again, sitting up in his chair more.

Sherlock turned to Irene, tugging you up from his seat with his fingers. You stood up, looking at him curiously. “You’ll have to give us a moment, Irene. (Y/N).” He turned towards you, pulling you towards the hallway leading to his bedroom. He opened the door, guiding you in and leaving the door open. He looked at you with an amused expression. His mouth in a bit of a smile, “I didn’t realize you could get jealous.” He mimicked you, reminding you of one of the first cases you two had worked on.

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over you chest once again. “I don’t, but she was in the flat before I returned.”

Sherlock raised an eyebrow, “And that’s why you’re so upset?”

”I’m not upset.”

“Don’t you want to know who she is?” Sherlock raised an eyebrow. “Know what she’s done?”

You shook your head, looking down a bit, “Not really. Don’t care much for it.”

”Please.” Sherlock shook his head, chuckling and giving you a knowing look. “You feel threatened by her.“

You looked up at him, tilting your head a bit, "Should I be?”

Sherlock laughed again, taking your face into his hands, “You know better than that, darling. I thought I explained this to you two nights ago.”

“Oh no, you did, but you looked different when you spotted her.”

“That’s because she isn’t supposed to be in London.” His gaze ran over your face after he said the words, smiling, “You deduced that. I don’t know why she’s here, but she can’t be staying for very long.”

“She called herself the Woman earlier. What does that mean?”

“It’s part of her job. You figured out that she uses her body and she’s dominate, yes?” You nodded, and Sherlock continued, “She’s.. I don’t know how to explain it. She ‘punishes’ people, so to say. It’s very strange.” Sherlock ran his eyes over your face again, hands dropping as he moved closer, dropping his voice a bit, “Are you sure you’re okay? You look as if you’re about to piss on everything in the flat to claim your territory.”

You let out a deep breath, rolling your eyes again. You shook your head, smirking at Sherlock as you moved closer. “Oh no, my dear, that’s crude. I have other ways of marking what’s mine.” You reached up, brushing your thumb over Sherlock’s neck where he still had the faint bruise. You peered out into the hallway briefly, making sure Irene was watching. She was, and your smirk grew. You pushed Sherlock into the door, causing it to shut as you pressed a kiss to Sherlock’s lips.

Sherlock made a surprised groan but didn’t reject the action. You felt his hands move to your waist, pulling you closer. You bit down on Sherlock’s bottom lip, forcing him to open his mouth a bit more as a sigh slipped out. Sherlock gripped your hips harder, and you pulled away a bit, grinning. You then turned your attention to his neck, giving it the same attention you had given his lips.

”(Y/N), we have a guest.” Sherlock muttered.

”Oh, I know.” You murmured, pulling back and rubbing your thumb over the new bruise on Sherlock’s neck. You smiled; reaching up to give Sherlock a kiss on his flushed cheeks. “Just claiming.” Sherlock chuckled, shaking his head and rubbing a hand over his swollen, red lips.

”You’re wonderful.”

”Oh, I know.” You opened the door, nudging Sherlock out of its path. You nodded toward the direction where Irene sat, “Off you go then. Go on and entertain our guest.”


	21. What's A Boy To Do

”So, Irene, what are you doing back in London?” Sherlock was sitting in his chair, absentmindedly picking at the strings of his violin. You were busying yourself with putting away the groceries. You and Sherlock had just left the bedroom minutes before. Irene had made it a point to watch Sherlock as he emerged from the bedroom. They were sitting in silence for those few minutes, the sound of bags rustling echoing throughout the flat.

”She did a really lovely job on your neck.” Irene murmured, her chin in her hand as she stared at Sherlock’s new bruise. “I always thought you would be the dominant one, Sherly.. There go those fantasies.” Irene smiled, letting out a bit of a laugh. Sherlock rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. “Oh, you’re still learning, aren’t you? Trust me, dear, it only gets better after the first time.”

”Irene. Why are you here?” Sherlock repeated.

”Oh, come on now, Sherlock. It’s been years. Can’t we catch up a bit?”

”Yes. Why did you decide to come back?”

You heard Irene let out a sigh. “You’re no fun at all. I thought you’d be much more fun with a girlfriend.” You turned in the kitchen, meeting Sherlock’s eyes. You raised your eyebrows at Sherlock, a bit of a grin on your face. His mouth quirked up just a little.

”I am much more fun now. For instance, if you don’t tell me why you’re back, I’m going to force you to leave the flat.” Sherlock smiled at the woman now, before allowing it to fall from his face. His expression was serious as he plucked his strings once again.

”It’s Moriarty.” Sherlock’s violin immediately ceased to be heard. You paused, holding a carton of milk in midair, preparing to put it into the fridge. Irene raised an eyebrow at Sherlock, “That has your attention.”

”What is it with Moriarty?” You heard Sherlock set his violin down onto the table next to him. You heard the sound of him standing up, and you could feel his gaze on your back. You slowly put the carton into the refrigerator, shutting the door. You gripped onto the handle, keeping yourself steady with it.

”I’m only the messenger. He found m-“

”Irene, what does he want?”

”He has a case for you to solve.” Irene grabbed her clutch, opening it. She reached in and pulled out a USB. “Here are the details of it.” Irene held the object out to Sherlock. He stared at it for a few moments.

”What happens if I don’t take the case?” Sherlock murmured. He already knew the answer; it would be just the same as before. His eyes flickered to you, taking in your stance. You were still standing where you had been when Irene first mentioned the criminal. Your shoulders were moving slowly – you were taking deep breaths.

Irene stood up, “I think you’ll know what will happen, Holmes.” Sherlock watched as your shoulders slumped, head leaning against the refrigerator. Irene set her hand on Sherlock’s shoulder gently, and he peered down at her, “I’m sorry.” Sherlock raised his eyebrows a bit. Irene Adler was actually apologizing. “She means a lot. I can tell.” Sherlock nodded slowly, watching Adler as she gathered her things. “I’ll be going then.” She moved to the door, but then turned again to face the detective. “I genuinely hope you’re able to solve this one. Impress your girl.” Irene smiled a bit before turning and leaving the flat.

Sherlock closed the door, encasing the entire apartment into silence. He didn’t know what to do. He could take the case, but he could fail and lose everything. If he didn’t take the case, he would be putting everyone in danger. And not just everyone, but you as well, if not mostly. Sherlock squeezed his eyes shut, gripping his hair with fists.

You mustered up the strength to move from your spot. You walked to the bedroom slowly, fingers trailing along the wall, ready to catch yourself. You opened the door, stepped into the room, and allowed it to swing shut behind you. The door shut with a gentle click, and when you heard the click, you allowed yourself to shut down. You pulled off your clothes, taking deep breaths in order to keep your emotions in check. You opened Sherlock’s wardrobe, taking his purple dress shirt off its shelf. You pulled it through your arms, buttoning up the material. You then crawled into Sherlock’s side of the bed. You pulled the covers over your head, enveloping yourself in darkness.

Sherlock made the decision when he heard his bedroom door shut. He needed to take the case if he was going to keep you safe. He had to keep you safe. He couldn’t let you down again, couldn’t let you go again. Sherlock was going to keep you by his side until he couldn’t any longer. Until Sherlock needed to face Moriarty again, you were going to stay at Baker’s Street. He then took fast strides to his computer, inserting the USB into the slot and immersing himself into the case.

–

When you emerged from your shield of blankets, the entire room was in darkness. You blinked a few times until you were able to read the red numbers on the alarm clock. 2:47 A.M. You pursed your lips when you realized that Sherlock still had yet to enter the room. You rose out of the bed, pulling down the edge of Sherlock’s shirt a bit. You opened the door slowly, blinking again as your eyes adjusted to the light coming from throughout the apartment. You walked out slowly, hearing Sherlock’s rapid footsteps as he walked throughout the living room. When you caught sight of him, he was standing on the coffee table with his chin in his hand, staring at pictures that covered the wall completely. All around him were a sea of papers.

You rubbed at your eyes, shuffling into the room. There was a steady stream of light coming from Sherlock’s computer and you moved closer to it, looking at what was on the screen. You took a seat in his chair, reading over the information on the case. Sherlock had begun to move around again, you noticed briefly. He still had yet to completely register that you were there.

The information gave detail over disappearances that were happening all over the world. They didn’t have anything in common from what you could tell, except the obvious - that all of these people were missing. You read the information over twice, trying to find something to help Sherlock.

”When did you get out here?” Sherlock asked, standing next to you now.

”Just a few minutes ago..” You muttered, standing up to allow him the seat.

He stared at you for a few seconds, “You’re wearing my shirt.” You nodded slowly, once again tugging it down a bit. “Is it because you’re afraid?”

You tapped your fingers against your thighs, actually thinking whether or not it was a side effect. “I’m only scared you won’t make it back.” You finally said, keeping your eyes on his chest.

Sherlock sat down in his chair, “Well, that’s not going to happen.” He patted his lap, turning towards you slightly. “Come on then, I need your help. And I work best when you’re with me. You sleep best when I’m with you. This is a wonderful compromise.” You gladly sat in Sherlock’s lap, throwing your legs over the side of his chair. You placed your hands around his body slightly, gripping his shirt softly. You leaned your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes.

You let out a short laugh then, and you felt Sherlock’s head move to look down towards you. “We never have time to just be happy together. There’s always something.”

”We were very happy these past two days, weren’t we?”

”But that’s all we ever get. Just days until it’s all over.”

”There will come a day when we won’t have to worry about it. I’m going to solve this case, and then we’re going to be happy. I promise.” Sherlock pressed a kiss to your forehead, moving closer to his desk to reach the computer. His arms moved around you to search more in depth.

There was a few minutes of silence as Sherlock continued his research. He didn’t say anything about your weight on him, and you were very glad for that. You leaned your forehead against his neck, closing your eyes. The sound of Sherlock’s fingers hitting the keyboard was beginning to lull you to sleep.

”Are you going to make me leave when you get close to finishing the case?” You asked quietly, keeping your eyes shut. You were honestly afraid of the answer Sherlock would give.

Sherlock’s typing ceased for a brief moment, but you didn’t feel his arms move away from the keyboard. You tensed a bit, swallowing as you prepared for the answer. “Not until the last possible moment. And even then, it will be for your own safety.”

You pressed closer to Sherlock, feeling relieved. “Okay. I can handle that… Thank you.” You felt Sherlock nod briefly as he shifted you in his arms. He then continued searching on his computer, and you were able to fall asleep.

As he felt your breathing deepen, he knew you were asleep and Sherlock allowed his posture to lessen. He didn’t know if he would be able to force you to leave when he needed. It was going to be necessary, absolutely necessary. You were his first priority, but he couldn’t trust anyone else with your safety. It was just as you said before – the safest you could be was with Sherlock, but when he was going to battle, you needed to be safer. Sherlock realized what he needed to do, and he shifted you in his arms again, fishing his phone from his pocket. He flipped it around in his hand, pulling up a new message. He began to type out his message, but paused when you took a deep breath.

He was reminded the night before Redbeard was put down. He had spent the night holding his beloved dog, just before he had to do the hardest thing of his life. He was just a boy, facing the problem of putting down someone he loved. But what’s a boy to do when he has to sacrifice himself for someone he loves?

And he knew then exactly what he had to do. He typed out his message, hitting send with his thumb. Sherlock then pulled up another blank message, taking a deep breath as he typed the message that asked everything of his best friend. After he hit send on that message, he gathered you up in his arms. He then slowly raised himself and you out of the chair, carrying you over to the sofa. He laid down on the couch, laying you on top of him as he pulled a blanket over the two of you. He held you close, smiling a bit as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck once again. He took a deep breath, allowing himself to fall asleep and enter his mind palace. He spent the rest of the night preparing himself for what was to come in the next day.


	22. Calm Before The Storm

You awoke to a prodding on your cheek. You opened your eyes slowly, groaning quietly and pressing your face into Sherlock’s side. You knew he was awake when his fingers began to trail up and down your arm. Your back was pressed to the back of the sofa, and you were still lying slightly on top of Sherlock. He must have moved you in your sleep, you realized. You stretched your legs out, sighing.

”First you’re asleep when we arrive, now you refuse to wake up. How rude of you, (Y/N).” You heard Mary playfully scold you. You rose your head a bit, blinking up at Mary. You smiled sleepily, waving your fingers a bit a the woman.

”Good morning, Mary.” You opened your eyes a bit more, peering around Mary. You saw John, who was sitting in the cloth chair, staring down at the ground. You pushed yourself up off the couch, sitting up. “Good morning to you too, John.” You then pushed yourself off the couch, rubbing at your eyes. “What are you guys doing here?”

”I actually don’t know, to be honest. John just told me to get Alice an –“

”Sherlock has a case. He needs my help, and we have to send you two off to be safe.” John cut in, now glaring at Sherlock’s back. Mary and you both raised your eyebrows at each other. You were alert now as the exhaustion you felt earlier seemed to dissipate from your body.

”You two realize who we were, before we met you, correct?” Mary asked, turning slightly to look at both of the men. Sherlock stood up and went to his chair, stepping onto the coffee table briefly to get there. He didn’t meet your eyes as he sat and crossed his legs.

”We’re not taking the chance of something.. happening again.” John paused briefly, trying to think of a way to speak. You scoffed a bit, leaning against the wall.

”No one could have stopped that.”

”And we don’t entirely know that for sure.” Sherlock snapped, looking up at you now. He hadn’t meant to snap; you knew that as soon as you saw the look in his eyes. It was a look that you had only seen once, and that was when you were dying. Sherlock Holmes was actually afraid. He took a deep breath, tapping his fingers against the arms of the chair as he turned his attention to Mary. “Mycroft will be arriving shortly to take you three to a safe location. John will give updates when he can, and we will let you know when it’s safe to return. Now,” Sherlock stood up, “I’m going to go and change. I’ll leave you to it.” He walked out of the room quickly, only shutting the door slightly. You pursed your lips, following in after him and closing the door completely.

You leaned your back against the door, watching Sherlock. He was standing in front of his wardrobe, staring at his clothes. He turned his head slightly, as if he was checking to make sure you followed him. Seeing you, he turned his attention back to his wardrobe, beginning to pick up the clothes that he intended to wear. You kept silent, thinking that Sherlock would speak first. When he didn’t, you let out a deep breath.

”You never would have made me go and hide before.” You murmured, pushing yourself off the door slightly.

”Things are different now than they were before.” Sherlock turned, putting on a new white dress shirt. He looked up at you as he buttoned the shirt, “I have to protect the one thing that I am undoubtedly sure I cannot survive without.” He pulled on new black dress pants quickly, tucking in his shirt and buttoning the pants. “That’s you, (Y/N).” You watched as he swallowed, pulling on his blazer. You shook your head slightly, taking a step towards the detective.

”I’m not fragile, Holmes.”

”Oh, I know you’re not. However,” Sherlock took a step closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you in closer. “You are mine, and I have to protect what’s mine.” You narrowed your eyes a bit at him, and he rolled his own. “Oh, I know you’re your own person. That’s not the point right now.” He took a deep breath, leaning his forehead against your own. “The point is that I can’t lose you again.”

You let a small smile fall on your face, “You won’t.” You felt Sherlock nod his head a bit, and then he kissed you. And this kiss was different than the others, there was something hidden within it. There was a promise. A promise that he would return to you, and that you would return to him. He was moving carefully, kissing you in a way that you believed showed the love he had for you. You could only hope that you were conveying the same to him. There was then a sharp knock at the door, and you distantly could hear Mycroft’s voice calling for you and Sherlock to leave the bedroom.

Sherlock let out a shaky breath as he pulled away. He pressed another kiss to your forehead as he moved away from you. “We’re going to be married.”

You raised an eyebrow at Sherlock, laughing softly, “Do we? You don’t like the idea.”

Sherlock looked at you, smiling a bit as he shook his head, his hand on the doorknob. “Oh no, (Y/N), I don’t like the idea of marriage with anyone else. I like the idea of marriage with you.”

You raised your left hand, wiggling your ring finger. “I don’t remember being asked.”

He tilted his head a bit, beginning to open the door. “I thought I had.. It would seem that you have something to look forward to when I come back.” Sherlock smiled a bit, “Go on and get changed. I would worry of my brother’s heart condition if he saw you in that.” He nodded to his shirt that you were still wearing, chuckling. You smiled, tugging at the shirt again.

”Well, I like it.”

”I do as well; however, I don’t quite know what my parents’ reaction would be if the woman I am not only living with, but the woman I intend to marry, showed up at their house with my shirt on.” Sherlock grinned as your mouth dropped open a bit, eyes widening. “Don’t you worry, they’ll adore you.” Sherlock stepped out of the room, shutting it firmly behind him as you quickly searched through your duffel bag, hoping you had packed something nice to wear.

–

You emerged from the bedroom wearing dark jeans and a black v-neck shirt. John, Mycroft, and Sherlock were all standing around the far wall filled with pictures, talking about what was going to happen next. Mary noticed your presence, smiling as she held Alice on her hip. You went and stood next to her and began playing with Alice’s feet as you spoke.

”So, what are they planning now?”

”It sounds like Mycroft is going to be taking us somewhere into hiding, which you already knew. But John and Sherlock are going to go and give Moriarty the answer to the case. Which…” Mary gave you a pointed look, “I believe sounds utterly stupid.”

You smiled a bit, nodding, “It does; however, there isn’t much else we can do, is th-“ You broke off your sentence as you realized exactly what you and Mary could do. She raised an eyebrow, grinning at you. She had known all along. You stepped closer to Mary, making sure that the men across the room wouldn’t be able to hear your conversation.

”They’re going to need help, (Y/N).”

”You and I both know that, but we both know they also would never let us go.”

”So how are we supposed to get to wherever it is they’re going?”

”Well, Sherlock and John wouldn’t let us go; however, I can think of someone who wouldn’t care one way or the other…” You tipped your head a bit in Mycroft’s direction, earning a bit of a smile from Mary. “And really, he could still complete what he was told to do by dropping Alice off at his parents’ house. That’s where we were supposed to be, at least.”

Mary paused briefly at the mention of Alice, as if she had forgotten for a moment she was a part of her life. Mary adjusted her hold on the infant, pulling her close to herself.

You rested your hand on Mary’s shoulder, “Mary, she’s going to be absolutely fine. You know that the boys will need our help. They’re walking into a trap.”

Mary licked her lips briefly, nodding, “Oh, I know. It’s just.. It’s going to be hard.”

”I know it is, dear, but we have to. We’re all going to come back, I promise.”

”What are you two planning?” John’s voice called out. You and Mary lifted your heads, realizing that all three men were now looking at the pair of you.

”We’re just making sure that we know you two aren’t going to go and do something stupid.” Mary responded first, rocking Alice a bit. “You two do have a history of doing that.” John rolled his eyes a bit, and you grinned at him.

”No, you two were definitely planning something.” Sherlock spoke next, his eyes scanning over your face.

You shook your head, “Just doing as what Mary said.”

”I may not be able to read you, (Y/N), but I can read Mary.” Sherlock smiled a bit apologetically at you and Mary, turning his attention to Mycroft. “You won’t let them out of your sight, will you?”

”Unfortunately, no.” Mycroft sighed a bit, taking his black umbrella into his hands. “I get to play babysitter today, it seems.”

”Don’t you worry, Mycroft, we’ll stay out of your hair.” You smiled, shifting your weight on your feet. Mary nodded in agreement as Sherlock’s phone buzzed on the desk. The detective instantly went over, picking it up, and read the text message.

He turned in his stance, tossing his phone to John, “John, we need to go.” John read over the text, nodding.

”We do.” He murmured, pressing the phone into Sherlock’s hands as he went by him, embracing Mary into a hug. You moved away from the family, standing in between the two Holmes brothers. You could hear faint murmuring and Alice’s few words as the Watsons said their goodbyes. Sherlock turned to face you, an eyebrow raised.

”Oh no,” You shook your head, “I hug or kiss you, and you’ll think that’s a go ahead to go and do something stupid.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes, “I will not.”

”And I will not be taking that chance.” You stepped closer to Mycroft, who handed you your coat. You nodded a thank you to him as you slipped your arms through, looking at Sherlock. “Just try and come back to me, okay?”

”Always.” Sherlock responded, and then you stood staring at the ground, waiting for the Watsons to finish their goodbyes. You then watched as Sherlock’s feet carried him quickly over to you, and you felt his arms wrap you up in their own embrace. You returned it gratefully, holding him tightly.

”This isn’t a go ahead to do something stupid, Holmes.” You murmured, muffled by his clothes.

You felt him chuckle, “I won’t, (Y/N). We’ve got big plans ahead, why would I throw them all away?”

–

You watched Sherlock as he closed the door to Mycroft’s car, smiling down at you in your seat a bit. You raised your hand, waving your fingers a bit at him. He returned it as the car sped away from the curb. You, Alice, and Mary had occupied the back seat of Mycroft’s shiny black car. Alice was strapped in to her car seat in between the pair of you, sleeping peacefully now. You looked over at Mary, who nodded her head. You turned your attention to the older Holmes brother.

”So, Mycroft..” You trailed off briefly, surprised when he took up the sentence.

”There are weapons in the trunk. We will be dropping you off after my brother and the doctor have arrived for a few minutes.” Mycroft turned his attention to you, eyebrow raised. “Did you really believe I wouldn’t send my brother help?”

You shrugged a bit, “Can’t read you quite yet, Mycroft.” You grinned at the man, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you.”

He rolled his eyes, turning back around and wiping your kiss off his forehead, “Oh, don’t start acting like that, (Y/N). I was just beginning to like you.”


	23. No Light, No Light

You let out a slow breath as you zipped your black jacket to the place just below your collar bone. The weight of a weapon hanging by your thigh was something you were going to have to become accustomed to once again. You picked up another gun, shifting it in your hands slightly. You turned, meeting the eyes of Mary. She had changed into her customary garments for the job ahead – all black. You smirked a bit, raising your eyebrow as you saw the hat on her head.

”You still wear those?”

Mary’s hand flew to her head, adjusting the hat, “Of course I do. It’s what I was taught.”

”Do you mean to say that I go against what we were taught?”

”I’m only saying that sometimes it’s okay to stay original.” Mary rolled her eyes at you, smiling a bit. She picked up her own gun, briefly looking up at the factory Mycroft had dropped the pair of you at before looking at you once again. “You ready?”

You nodded slightly, tucking another round into your jacket pocket. “As I’ll ever be.” Mary nodded as well, and you pushed the duffel bag Mycroft had given you behind a stack of cardboard. Mary began opening the door that would lead into the factory, and you took your spot to inspect whether or not there were people in the space. Looking down the white hallway, you spotted two men. You nodded your head towards the men, and Mary quietly stepped in behind you. The hallway was dark, not allowing you to make out the face of the men. You led Mary quietly down the hallway, weapons poised at the two men.

As you neared closer, you looked to Mary who gave you a slight nod. You grinned a bit as you allowed your heel to skid across the floor. The action created a screech that reverberated throughout the hallway. You let out a breathy laugh as the men jumped, spinning around to face you and Mary. The men promptly held open hands up in surrender.

”I love it when they play, don’t you, (Y/N)?”

”It does make it much ea-“

”(Y/N)?” The man on the right, the taller one, asked. You let out a sigh, lowering your gun as your mind registered who had spoken.

”Really, Sherlock?”

Your boyfriend stepped closer to you and Mary, eyebrows raised. “You’re saying really to me? (Y/N), I told you, both of you,” Sherlock briefly moved his eyes to Mary, “to stay with Mycroft.”

”Mary,” John frowned at his wife, teeth gritted, “we have a child. You can’t be here!”

”John, you can’t be here. We have a child.” Mary repeated with her gun lowered as well. John rolled his eyes a bit, sighing. “You both will need our help. Moriarty’s your biggest problem. It’s fitting that you have a couple more people on your side.” John pursed his lips, turning his head a bit to the side. Sherlock had his hands clasped behind his back, eyes trained on your face that was determined not to meet his.

”They both have a point, John.” Sherlock murmured.

”That doesn’t matter, Sherlock. When their lives are in danger, it doesn’t matter that they’re right.” John said the words harshly to his friend, causing you and Mary to smile. John shook his head at you two, “Don’t even start. This is the only time you’ll be joining us on a case again.”

”We will need to keep our skills in check, John.” You attempted to reason with the doctor, but he only shook his head. You grinned a bit, raising your eyebrow at the two in front of you. “So, what’s your plan then?”

”Get to the center of the problem. Give how the case was solved. Finish the story of Moriarty.” Sherlock stated simply, putting his hands into his coat pockets now.

”That’s it?” You shared a slight laugh with Mary, “It’s a good thing we came along then. Mary and I will go through and take out the assassins he’s sure to of hired to take you two out. The factory’s shaped in a rectangle, so Mary will take left. I’ll take right. You two will go straight on. John, I trust you’ll be able to take necessary actions.” You shifted your weapon in your hands as Mary frowned at you.

”You’re going to split away?”

”We’ll cover more ground. You and I can rendezvous when we’re closer to the center. Give them more coverage.” You explained, beginning to move around Sherlock and John. You heard Mary let out a brief sigh and murmur of agreement to your plan. She gave John a quick kiss before you heard her footsteps move towards you again.

”I’ll see you on the other side then.” Mary smiled, pulling you into a hug.

You smiled, returning the hug, “I’ll see you there.” You released her from your grasp, watching as she moved into the hallway. You turned and began to walk down your own hallway. When you heard footsteps behind you, you turned with your gun raised.

Sherlock continued his advancement towards you, and you tilted your head a bit as you lowered your weapon. Wordlessly, he took your face into his hands, kissing you firmly. You raised one hand up his side, resting it there. He pulled away, moving away from you. “You’ll be careful, won’t you?” You nodded, a small smile on your face. Sherlock nodded then, “Good. I’ll see you soon.” Sherlock then turned, walking back to meet John.

”It’s a yes, just so you know. It always has been.” You called out to him.

”I’m sorry?” Sherlock turned. His hands were stuck in his pockets. You began to slowly walk backwards, preparing to go and get to work.

”The question you intend to ask me later. It’s a yes, just so you know.”

”Oh. That one.” Sherlock nodded a bit, smiling himself. “I’d prefer to talk about this later on, when our lives aren’t in slight danger.”

You shrugged a bit, “I just thought you should know.” You then turned fully, walking straight into the hallway. You listened as Sherlock gave a quiet hum of approval, then retreated himself back to John. You closed your eyes briefly, taking a deep breath as you cleared your head. Your absolute attention is what this part of your job called. Any distraction, and everything could be over.

You stepped around the next corner of the hallway as you opened your eyes. You kept your gun out and away from you as you crept along the hallway. It wasn’t until your next turn that you encountered another person. Even then, they weren’t much of a challenge for you.

There back had been turned to you, so you managed to creep up behind the person. Once there, you swung your arm around the man’s neck, putting him into a chokehold. He wasn’t able to react very well, since you pushed your fingertips of your free arm into one of his pressure points. Once he had rendered himself unconscious, you shoved him into a utility closet. You squatted as you picked up the gun you had dropped, listening to see if you had attracted the attention of any other potential assassins. Hearing none, you murmured a congratulation to yourself. “Still got it..” You grinned to yourself as you stood yourself back up, returning to your position as you crept around the next corner. When you didn’t encounter another for over two turns, you began to rethink your assumption over Moriarty. Maybe he hadn’t hired as many killers as you thought he had. You began to loosen your grip and lower your gun as you continued rounding the hallways. It wasn’t until the last hallway until you met with Mary that you met another.

You spotted the head full of short, blonde hair first. Bouncing off the low lighting of the hallways, the hair seemed to illuminate with its own light source. The person had his back towards you, allowing you to move closer to him without attracting his attention. Unfortunately, you didn’t pick your foot up high enough to take a clean step, causing you to stumble slightly. You inhaled sharply as you took quick steps to keep upright. Snapping your head forwards, you watched as the person turned and met your eyes with their own green ones. You then felt your breath leave your body as if you had been punched. Memories flooded into your mind, each one buzzing pas the others.

”Jim.” His name came out as a whisper. He smirked a bit, taking his hand away from his own gun to wave his fingers at you. Your stomach churned as he completed the action. Everything you knew to be true about Jim was becoming a lie before your eyes. He wasn’t dead. He hadn’t been killed. He hadn’t lost his life because of you.

Your blood ran cold as you made your next deduction. He was aiming his gun towards you.

”What a pleasure, (Y/N). Never thought I’d see you again.” Each word he said was a harsher than the last. You shook your head a bit, trying to rid it of the memories. You readjusted your grip on your own weapon, raising it.

”How are you here?”

”I’ve always had friends on the other side. You never did figure that out, did you? That’s pretty sad.”

Friends on the other side… “You’ve always been working with Moriarty, then?”

”Oh no, sweetheart, just towards the end there. He planned my whole escape.” Jim’s smirk grew, “Tell me, did you cry at my funeral? Did you even go to it?”

”Stop.”

”You didn’t, did you? You were too busy going after a new lover, weren’t you? Sherlock Holmes, though? Isn’t that a bit strange? He’s a virgin, isn’t he? What’s that like?”

”I said, ‘Stop.’” Your voice came out in a bit of a yell as you moved to punch Jim in the jaw. His hand swept out, catching your wrist just before your fist made contact. Jim let out a tsk as he tightened his grip.

”Oh dear me, (Y/N). You still haven’t learned a thing, have you?” Jim snickered, pulling you towards himself roughly. His face quickly turned serious, “Looks like you’ll have to be taught a lesson..”

You clenched your jaw, jerking your wrist in an attempt to get it out of Jim’s grasp. Jim laughed at your attempt. You let a smile fall across your face then, “Oh no, Jimmy. I’ve learned them all already.” You swiftly pulled your right leg from behind Jim’s left one, effectively knocking him to the ground. You pulled your wrist from his grip promptly, falling a bit with him to knock the wind out of him. As Jim gasped, you pulled your fist back, smashing it against his nose. Jim’s eyes lit with fury as blood began to stream from his nose. You quickly got off of him before he swung at your legs. He got up quickly, moving to tackle you to the ground. He wrapped his arms around your midsection, causing you to fall backwards and smack your head into the floor below you. You let out a breath as your vision darkened for a moment. You blinked it away, pulling your feet up as you kicked Jim in his stomach, pushing him off of you.

Jim grunted as he was forced off of you. You leapt up, pulling your fist up to make another punch. You landed the blow to his eye and felt a small amount of pride well up inside of you as you watched the space around his eye darken. Jim fell back against a pipe, knocking his back into it. He let out a swear word, and you moved closer to him again, fishing out the white twist-ties that would allow you to handcuff Jim. You quickly wrapped the ties around his wrists, securing them to the pipe. You moved away swiftly after you had finished, and as Jim realized what you had done.

You pushed your hair out of your face, chest heaving, “Told you I learned something.” You licked your lips a bit, tilting your head a bit. “I’ll let Mary take care of you later.” You scooped your gun that you had dropped back up as you began moving out of the hallway.

”Just going to leave me again, eh?” Jim called out as you continued walking. “It’s what you do, isn’t it? Leave. It’s what you’re going to do to him too. But you don’t have to worry about that, sweetheart. Moriarty is going to take care of that for you. He’ll get rid of him for you.” Jim let out a dark chuckle as you clenched your fists together. “Sherlock Holmes will be gone by the end of the day, (Y/N).”

You broke out into a sprint in the direction of where Mary would be.


	24. Ready, Aim, Fire

”Mary, Mary, Mary..” You spoke her name quickly when she came into view. Mary raised her hands a bit, willing you to calm down. You swallowed, trying to catch your breath. “He’s alive. Jim’s alive. He’s here.” The words fell out of your mouth.

Mary’s mouth dropped a bit in surprise, eyebrows rose, “He’s alive? How is he alive? Are you okay? What.. What’s he doing here?”

You shook your head, “He’s on Moriarty’s side. He’s been working with Moriarty ever since he faked his death.” You pressed your hand into your stomach, keeling over a bit. “Oh, god..”

Mary rested her hand on your back, “(Y/N), are you going to be okay?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, willing your breath to catch itself. Willing your mind to just slow down for a few seconds. You let out a slow breath, standing up and nodding. “I’ll be okay.”

”Where is he?”

”I tied him to a pipe back there.” Your hand gestured down the hallway where you had just emerged. “You’ll take came of him, won’t you?”

”Later, yeah. Of course.”

”Okay, good. Where are the boys?”

”They’ve just entered. John asked us to stay away a bit from them as they talk with Moriarty. That way we can be a bit of protection and can have some protection, I suppose.” Mary pursed her lips, eyes looking over your flushed face. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, giving her a weak smile, “I’m sure. C’mon now, let’s go.” You began to lead Mary into the room, but a sharp intake of breath from Mary made you pause. You turned back to her, eyebrow raised.

Mary took off her hat, handing it to you, “Your head’s bleeding.” You hand immediately went to the back of your head, and you could feel your hair matted down with your warm blood. You let out a bit of a sigh, shaking your head a bit as you pulled on the hat. “If Sherlock would’ve seen that.. Who knows what would’ve happened.”

You nodded briefly, “I fell back against a pipe back there..” You murmured the words quietly, blinking in an attempt to not think of the pain. “Are we good now?” When Mary nodded, you nodded in return, pushing the door open into an open, empty room.

”Glad you could join the party, (Y/N).” Moriarty’s voice rang through your ears. You adjusted your weapon in your hands, taking slow deep breaths. “Did you find the present I left for you? Jim and I were hoping you’d enjoy him.” Moriarty held a faint smirk on his face, turning his attention to Sherlock who was staring at you. “You know about him, don’t you, Sherlock? Jim? He was (Y/N)’s old flame.. He faked his death too. Could that be classified as something you look for a person?” Moriarty gave a laugh, rubbing his hands together.

Sherlock tore his gaze away from you, staring at Moriarty. He had put on the face he made when he was bored. “Can we get on with this?”

Moriarty blew a raspberry, sighing, “You never want to have any fun, Sherlock.”

”I’ll have much more fun when you’re behind bars.”

”As will I, but can’t you live in the present? Appreciate the time we have together now?”

Sherlock clucked his tongue softly, shaking his head. “You invited me to talk about a case. My main focus is to tell how you it happened.”

Moriarty spread his hands out in front of himself, “Go on and tell me then.” Sherlock then launched into an elaborate answer. Your mind traveled away from the conversation, and you guessed that you had a mild concussion. You tried to focus, but you couldn’t get your attention back on the words. You instead turned your attention to the physical surroundings, noting that John and Mary, as if it were platonic, had drifted to stand next to one another again. Moriarty was wearing a dark blue suit; similar to the one Sherlock wore himself. Sherlock was able to maintain his composure, speaking with his hands behind his back.

”… And that was actually fairly impressive. You managed to stay in hiding while conducting all of those crimes. A group batch of tricks, Moriarty, but not good enough, figured it out. I’m sure you’ll be charged soon enough.” Sherlock nodded towards the door on the far side of the room, “We’ll be going then.”

Moriarty smiled at Sherlock, “Very clever, Holmes. I’m happy that you were able to figure it out.” Moriarty turned slightly away from Sherlock, towards you as he placed his hands into his suit pockets. “Unfortunately, I’m not quite out of tricks yet.”

You dimly heard the click of a gun, preparing to shoot. You felt as the barrel pressed in between your shoulder blades. Your grip tightened around your own weapon, ready to defend yourself. You swallowed a bit, taking a deep breath as the attention of the room shifted to you.

”I think it’s best if you move, sweetheart.” Jim’s voice whispered in your ear, nudging you again. You took a bit of a step forward, but Jim didn’t seem satisfied with your action. He brought his gun off your back, striking you down in the shoulder with the barrel. You fell to the ground, your own weapon clattering against the floor as you made a weak attempt to catch yourself. Jim kicked you in your side, hissing, “Move.” You noticed Sherlock’s feet move closer to you in the corner of your eye. “Stay there, curls, or I’m going to have to decorate the room a bit.”

”I’d do as he says, Sherly. I mean, the man’s got a gun.. Very impressive.” Moriarty gave a delighted laugh, “He’s brilliant, isn’t he? I can see why (Y/N) and Mary enjoyed working with him so much. There’s just something about the name Jim..” You let out a series of groans as you crawled across the floor, moving closer to Moriarty. You let your head fall against the cold ground once you were inches away from Moriarty’s feet. “Now, Sherlock, here’s the thing.” Moriarty chuckled a bit, stepping around you. “Having to hide for two years has really been a bore for me. There’s only so much you can do. So, before you go – if you go –“ Moriarty corrected himself, “you’re going to have to solve a case, right now. And, well, if you take too long..” Moriarty trailed off his sentence just as Jim landed a swift kick into your side. You gasped as the impact rolled you onto your back. You caught sight of Mary who had her hand pressed to her mouth. John’s hands were tightened to fists. Sherlock was staring intently at Moriarty, eyes burning into him.

”What’s the case?” Sherlock asked harshly. Jim gripped your shirt into his fist, yanking you up. You placed your hands on his chest, shoving yourself out of his grip. You stumbled backwards a bit, breathing heavily. “What is the case?” Sherlock repeated again, taking a step towards Moriarty.

Moriarty held his hands up in a mock surrender, “Oh no, Sherly, this isn’t with me. It’s with the other one.” He nodded towards Jim, taking a step away from the detective. Jim was gripping onto his gun tightly, aiming it at the floor. His eyes were glaring into yours, but you steadily kept his gaze.

”A man and a woman are in a relationship, they’re coworkers.” Jim spoke out, eyes staring down at you. “They go out on a routine mission with rookies. Everything goes according to plan, until the very last possible second.” He took a step towards you, causing you to swallow as you knew what he was talking about, “The man is shot, he’s laying there, bleeding out. And the woman.. This woman he put his entire life in, his entire trust in, she leaves him there, without a second glance back.”

”You told me to leave.” You spoke immediately after he had finished the sentence. Jim lashed out at you, and you could feel the sharp sting against the bridge of your nose and cheek. You clenched your jaw, not allowing him the satisfaction of hearing your pain.

”I wasn’t finished.” Jim turned his attention to Sherlock briefly, before turning back to you and grinning as he saw your hands rise to protect yourself. “So, detective, what would the proper reaction to a reunion be?” Jim raised his arm, bringing it down to hit you again. You raised your forearm, blocking the shot. You gripped the barrel of the gun, yanking and twisting the gun out of his hands. Mary lunged forward to help you, but John grabbed her back, not allowing her to put herself in danger. You turned the gun on him, shaking your hair out of your face.

Moriarty clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “You’re doing an awful lot of playing, Jim.”

”The detective hasn’t answered my question. I’m just getting started.” Jim laughed, he actually laughed before gripping the gun once again. He wretched the weapon from your hands, sending it scattering across the floor. You began to lunge for it, but he wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling you close so your back was pressed against his chest. He pressed his hand against your thigh, taking out the other gun and pressed it to your side. “So what is it, Mister Holmes?”

Sherlock had stayed glued in his position. He was afraid that if he helped you, you would be hurt more than you already were. He now was staring at you, attempting to remain calm. “I don’t know.”

Jim shook his head a bit, “That’s not a good enough answer.” Jim clicked off the safety, pushing the barrel farther into your side.

”Oo, I’d work quicker, Sherlock. I mean, you’re fond of (Y/N), aren’t you? We all know she’s Mary’s best friend. You can’t be letting so many people down.” Jim gripped your hair, pulling your head back. You let out a small gasp, finally meeting Sherlock’s eyes for the first time.

Seeing your expression, Sherlock spoke a bit more frantically, “I don’t know.”

Jim snorted, rolling his eyes. “Not so bright, are you?” Jim pushed you to the floor, forcing you to kneel before him as you continued to face Sherlock. Your eyes fell away from Sherlock when you felt the barrel rest on the back of your head. “I’ll ask you a new question then. If the man went through all of that, who would he want to hurt when he saw the woman again?”

Mary raised her gun, aiming it to Jim, “Don’t do this, Jim. You’re a better person than that.”

”Oh shut up, you’re the one who left us both behind. Do you really have any leeway to tell us what is good? What makes us better?” Jim rolled his eyes, training his eyes on Sherlock. “So, who is it, Holmes? Who would he want to hurt?” You let out a slow breath.

Sherlock licked his lips briefly, taking a small step towards Jim. “He’d want to hurt the woman. But you can’t do that, Jim. You can’t do that to (Y/N).”

”Oh, believe me. I know. I couldn’t kill her. That would just be.. terrible.” Your shoulders fell a bit in relief, closing your eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you.” The words registered in your mind as a gunshot rang throughout the room.

Your eyes opened wide. Your eyes took in your surroundings slowly, reality beginning to slow down. You first saw Sherlock’s eyes meeting yours, then watched as they lowered farther and farther away form yours. Your gaze travelled to his dress shirt, where a dot of crimson red was beginning to become bigger and bigger. You watched as Sherlock’s body fell backwards, hands splayed against the concrete.

Your time stopped as Sherlock didn’t move from his spot on the ground. Get to Sherlock. Somewhere in your mind a voice whispered. You clasped your hands together before swiftly bringing them back into to Jim’s groin. The man fell, dropping the gun. You shot him in the shoulder. Not enough to kill him, enough to just perform surgery. Mary had already moved ahead of you, swinging her gun across Moriarty’s face. The criminal fell to the ground, knocked out cold. John was kneeling next to Sherlock, already trying to save the life of his best friend. As he pressed to Sherlock’s wound, his hands were becoming red.

You dropped your weapon, falling next to Sherlock. You cradled his face in your hands, “Sherlock. Sherlock, look at me.” His eyes were barely open, but you watched as his eyes move to your face. “Sherlock Holmes, don’t you dare die. You listen to me, Holmes. Don’t leave me. You can’t go.” Tears spilled from your eyes for the first time that day. “You can’t just leave me here, okay? You have to stay. I love you. You can’t die. You hear me? Don’t die.” You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You can’t die. I can’t get married without you.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Mary and John both pause in their movements. They were in shock, you knew. Not only with Sherlock being shot, but with you mentioning the idea of marriage. John knew that Sherlock had never thought of it before – he couldn’t think of it, really. And Mary knew that you never really appreciated the idea, since you were focused more on your work. The couple met each other’s eyes over you and Sherlock briefly, communicating to one another the reality of how much you and Sherlock cared for one another. Then, just shortly after, they went back to tending care to one of the few people all of you cared strongly for.

“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me..”


	25. Come Back... Be Here

You were sure that you were going to wear a path into the hospital’s waiting room floor. Ever since arriving there, ever since Sherlock had gone into surgery, you had continuously been pacing. Your mind was racing. Your adrenaline was coursing its last bits throughout yourself, but you willed yourself to continue moving. You believed that if you kept moving, Sherlock would continue surviving. With all little evidence and possibility of that happening, you continued on believing.

John had barely been able to find Sherlock’s pulse when the ambulance finally arrived. And his blood.. Your hands tightened against one another as you peered down at your soaked jeans. He had lost so much blood.

”(Y/N). We need to check on you. Get you out of those clothes.” John suddenly appeared in front of you, hands hesitantly reaching out to you. You moved away from them, shaking your head.

”No, no, I’m fine. We have to stay out here in case they have any news on Sherlock.” The words tumbled out as they had many times before. John and Mary both had tried to convince you to go and change, to make sure you didn’t have any injuries of your own. In truth, you knew that you did, you knew that you should probably clean off the blood that was still on your face, but you would not risk the possibility of missing news of Sherlock’s condition.

”(Y/N), you need to come with me now. Sherlock will have my head if he finds out I let you be like this.” John placed his hand on your arm gently, nudging you towards an open exam room. You glanced again at the doors into the operating ward. Seeing that there were no nurses or doctors emerging from the door that you knew Sherlock was behind, you begrudgingly took a step towards the exam room. John looked up at Mary quickly, nodding at her to go and get the scrubs out of your work locker. Mary walked briskly towards the locker room.

After you had walked into the exam room, and as John shut the door, you peeled of the sweatshirt and the t-shirt that was underneath. When you turned back around to face John, you were met with his eyes on your body. Anger immediately swelled up within you at the man’s stare.

”John, are you serious? I’m your wife’s best friend. Your best friend’s gi-“

”Oh Christ, (Y/N), shut up. I wasn’t looking at you like that.” John’s face looked uncomfortable as he met your eyes briefly, before switching his gaze back to your midsection. “You just have lots of bruising.. Probably a cracked rib or two.”

John stepped away from the full body mirror he had previously covered on the back of the door. You peered into the object, forgetting briefly that it was a mirror. Because the person that was staring back at you, the person with ratty hair, with blood encrusted on her face, with colorful bruises decorating their sides – that person couldn’t possibly be you. You swallowed as your fingers traced a bruise – a pretty yellow, black, and purple one – on your side. You closed your eyes as you pressed on a rib, the pain causing the action. You sat on the observation table, sighing a bit.

”I think I do need some help.”

–

You emerged from the exam room a few minutes later. You now sported a bind around your lower chest and your typical hospital scrubs. The adrenaline that once coursed through your veins had stopped. You walked slowly now, taking small, short breaths in order to avoid hurting yourself. John offered you his arm, and you took it gratefully, nodding a bit to him. When you looked away from John, you were met with Mary and Sherlock’s surgeon – Dr. Shepherd. Mary gave you a small smile as you approached.

You licked your lips a bit, taking a slightly deeper breath as you began to talk to the familiar surgeon. “Give me some good news, Daniel.” John eased you over and onto a seat, and Daniel stood in front of you, hands clasped behind his back.

”Well, we had a few complications.” He began, causing you to clasp your own hands together. “He lost a lot of blood, so had to perform multiple transfusions. Once that was finished, we opened Holmes up, and began to assess the damage. His aorta had been nicked by the bullet, which caused the severe blood loss.” You placed your head in your hands, squeezing your eyes shut. “I quickly sowed the nick up, covering it with a patch as well. We lost him briefly after that.” You inhaled sharply at the comment, leaning back in your chair, staring at Shepherd. “But then we recovered him and went to work on removing the bullet. When we found it, it had almost hit his spinal cord. We removed it promptly.” Dr. Shepherd bit his bottom lip a bit, running a hand over his face as he looked at the three of you. “He made it through. But the surgery and shot put a lot of stress on his heart, so we’re going to keep him in a drug induced coma overnight. That way we can be sure there are no further complications and so he doesn’t overwork himself the last time he was here.” John and Mary shared a hug quickly at the news. You sat back in the chair, a small smile on your face.

”Are we able to see him?” You asked quietly, raising up out of the seat with only a bit of struggle.

Daniel shrugged a bit, “Technically, you’re not supposed to, since Holmes is in recovery and the ICU and all.. But I think we can make an exception.” Shepherd smiled at you as he offered you his arm, ushering you into the ICU section of the hospital. “He’s still attached to quite a few tubes, which I would warn you of, but you know the circumstances already.” Daniel murmured, leading you into the hospital room.

Even though you had seen people in a hospital bed numerous times before, the sight took your breath away. You pursed your lips together, telling yourself that you would not cry, not this time. Shepherd eased you into the seat next to the hospital bed, and you murmured a quiet thank you to him before he exited. You reached up, gently taking Sherlock’s hand into your own.

His IV dripping and heart monitor beeping provided a calm, steady soundtrack as you looked over the man. His IV was in his left forearm, and that was something that you knew to be normal. What stole your breath away was the oxygen tube in Sherlock’s mouth and the way that he looked utterly lifeless as the machine next to him helped him breathe. His hand was limp in your own, and you clutched to it tighter. You licked your lips a bit, looking up to check that Mary and John weren’t standing out in the hallway yet. When you saw that they weren’t, you cleared your throat.

”Sherlock Holmes, you made me a promise that you were never going to leave me ever again. You told me that the idea was illogical. And you and I both know that it is.” You murmured quietly, eyes roaming his face. “You and I both know it is, Sherlock, so you have to fight this. Get your own heart in check, because you have mine to hold onto as well. You fight this, and you come back to me, you hear me? Come back, Holmes.” You whispered the words fiercely, hearing the steps of John and Mary echoing down the hallway. You pressed a kiss to his hand, leaning your forehead against it briefly, “I believe in you, Sherlock Holmes. I love you.” You said the last three words quickly as Mary and John entered the room.

”You know, last time he was in the hospital, I thought that would be the last time I saw Sherlock in one.” Mary sighed quietly, resting a hand on your shoulder. You placed your own hand on top of hers, keeping your eyes on Sherlock.

”He’s going to pull through again.” John stated matter-of-factly. As you heard the slow beeping from Sherlock’s heart monitor, you willed yourself to believe the army doctor. John tapped his knuckled against the hospital bed’s rails. You turned your gaze onto him curiously. “We need to go and pick up Alice.” John said quietly, more to himself than you or Mary. John looked up at you, “You’ll call if there’s any changes, won’t you?”

”’Course I will.” You attempted a smile. John nodded a bit, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

”And you’ll call if you have any complications of your own?” John asked again, eyebrow raised.

You rolled your eyes, “Yes, dad.” You said the words with every ounce of sarcasm you could muster. John chuckled a bit, shaking his head as he left the room, saying another farewell. You looked up at Mary, “Aren’t you going to go and follow your husband?”

”You never told me that you and Sherlock were planning on getting married.”

You shrugged a bit, turning your gaze back to the man in the hospital bed, “It never came up. And he hasn’t even asked me yet, obviously.”

”Obviously. But that means that you two have at least talked about it. (Y/N), that’s farther than anyone has gotten with him.” Mary laughed a bit, and you only shrugged. Mary pressed a kiss to the top of your head gently, avoiding your wound. “I’ll talk to you later then.”

”Goodbye, Mary.” You smiled a bit at your friend as she left the room. You let out a deep breath as you placed your head onto Sherlock’s bed near his leg. You closed your eyes and allowed the sound of the heart monitor to lull you to sleep.

–

Two Weeks Later

You dropped today’s newspaper on Sherlock’s lap, taking a seat on the side of his bed. “Well, they’ve both been locked up today. John said that the courtroom was very…” You tried to remember the word, “It was very peculiar, is what I think he said. However, I’m not quite sure. My head is still trying to wrap around the idea that Jim and Moriarty are gone.” You smiled, picking up the newspaper and opening it to the article. “Lestrade was very proud of himself for this one. I don’t blame him. Something finally went right over at Scotland Yarde. Speaking of which, he had me consult on a case for him today. Oh, Sherlock, you would’ve loved it.” You smiled up at the man. “It was a murder. Wasn’t too obvious, but it didn’t take to much time.”

You paused briefly, looking up at Sherlock once again. The doctors had wavered him off the drugs two days after his surgery, but he still had yet to wake up. You hadn’t reacted to the news all too well when Shepherd told you what had happened. In fact, you had forced Lestrade to let you into the prison so you could beat ex-boyfriend Jim into very near a pulp. Greg forced you to stop when blood covered your hands. You still had yet to regret your actions. In truth, you didn’t think you ever would.

And so visiting Sherlock every day became your daily routine. For the last two weeks, your life had been a constant cycle of work at the hospital, work with Scotland Yarde, eat something, return to Sherlock. On occasion you would go back to Baker’s Street to pick up fresh clothes or speak with Mrs. Hudson, you would even go so far as to visit John and Mary. It didn’t matter though, because within an hour you were back at the hospital. You had spent the nights here by Sherlock’s side, especially since the nurses had set up a cot for you to sleep on. John quietly insisted to you that this wasn’t healthy, but you ignored him completely. You weren’t going to miss Sherlock when first returned.

You pulled his chart off the table, reading it over and looking at his stats for the day. “Everything’s completely normal, Holmes..” You closed the chart, looking back up at the man. “You just have yet to wake up. See,” You stood up, picking up your purse. “Shepherd says that you might never wake up, but we all know that’s a lie. You wouldn’t let your last words be something so mundane, would you? Of course not. You’re just being a drama queen and keeping the suspense.” You smiled a bit, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’m going to run down to the cafeteria and pick up dinner. Don’t do anything too crazy while I’m gone.” You attempted a laugh, sighing quietly as you exited the room.

When you returned onto the floor, eating the last bits of your chocolate pudding, you noticed the nurses crowded around the nurses’ station. You raised your eyebrows a bit as not one of them met your eyes. Tilting your head a bit, you began to suspect that something was.. off. Seeing Dr. Shepherd with his head bowed, massaging his temples only increased your suspicions. Something was definitely wrong. You threw the rest of your pudding away, walking quickly towards Sherlock’s room.

You began to fear the worst. It was all that you knew to do now. As you neared closer to the room, you didn’t hear the familiar beeping of his heart monitor. Your pace turned quicker, and you ignored the dull pain in your lungs as your breathing became more rapid. You watched as more nurses exited Sherlock’s room, carrying out medical equipment.

”No, no, no…” You murmured quietly, breaking out into a run. You pushed your way through the pair of nurses. He couldn’t. He couldn’t have. You practically burst through his room door, breathing deeply as you continued to fear the worse.

And all that melted away when bright blue eyes met your own. You fear completed faded when you watched a Cupid’s Bow curl as its owner smiled. You stumbled a bit towards the bed, tears beginning to cloud your vision. Your heart swelled up with excitement. The sound of a deep cough caused a smile to conjure itself on your face. You gripped onto the hand, relishing the way it squeezed your own and pulled you closer. You pressed your cheek into the palm of the hand as it caressed your cheek.

”Excuse me, m’am, but could you give me some advice? Does a boyfriend lose some points in the possibility of becoming a husband if they don’t talk to their girlfriend for two weeks?”

”Typically, yes. But for you, Sherlock Holmes, I believe that the rules can make an exception.”

”It would seem that the rules have been doing that for me a lot lately.” Sherlock smiled a bit at you, and your breath caught in your throat at the sight. His smile died a bit at the sound, and he licked his lips, “I’m sorry for what I put you through. I can assure you that it will never, ever happen again.”

You pressed a kiss into his palm, “I missed you.” You could feel the tears well up in your eyes once again, and you pressed them shut as you willed them away.

”I know. I heard you.” Sherlock let out a slow breath, pulling you close. “You were here every day, and I put you through all of that. I really need to get better at this relationship business.” He then captured his lips with his own, and you both sighed at the action. You gripped him by his hospital gown, pulling yourself closer. Sherlock squeezed your sides a bit, causing your mouth to fall open. Sherlock took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, wrapping his arms around you now. You gripped his curls by the nape of his neck, tilting his head back and pulling away from the kiss. You smirked down at him as you heard his heart rate monitor quicken.

You shook your head, pressing a kiss to his neck, “Look at that. Sherlock Holmes does have a heart that works properly.”

Sherlock chuckled a bit, “I don’t think that’s ever been said to me before.” You laughed a bit too, leaning up and away from Sherlock as you fished your phone out of your purse. Sherlock raised an eyebrow at you, “What are you doing?”

”Phoning Lestrade.” You ran a hand through Sherlock’s curls, smiling at the sensation. “You’re going on a holiday for a bit.”

Sherlock frowned, “Isn’t a coma a long enough holiday?”

”Sherlock Holmes, you’re going to listen to me, and you’re going to take the extra time off.”

”Yes, dear.”


	26. The Final Problem

You shook your hands, trying to calm yourself down. You folded your hands together, biting your lips as you looked down. The white fabric hung loosely from your body, hiding your feet from your sight. You smiled a bit, smoothing out the peach ribbon around your waist.

There was a knock at the door, and you turned as Mary appeared. She was wearing a dress that matched the color of your ribbon, and she carried a huge smile on her face. “It’s time.”

You nodded, letting a small smile fall across your lips as you gathered your dress in your hands, walking towards your friend. You paused briefly as you began to cross the threshold of the room. “You don’t think we’re rushing, do you? This is okay, isn’t it?”

Mary laughed softly, resting her hand on your shoulder. “(Y/N), you and Sherlock waited a year. John and I were thinking you would’ve done this much sooner.” She linked arms with you, guiding you down the hallway. “No one is meant to be more than you and Sherlock are.”

”Except you and John.” You interjected.

”I wasn’t going to mention that, since it isn’t our wedding day.” Mary patted your hand, nodding to her husband as he came into view. He was standing with Molly, who was grinning at something he had said. Molly had agreed to be one of your bridesmaids, just as Mary had, and so she was wearing a dress identical to Mary’s. You smiled at the two, who’s conversation died as you and Mary neared closer. John smiled at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

”I need to go and check on Sherlock. He sent me out to make sure you’re okay. Which it looks as if you are, so I’ve done my job.” John smiled at you, squeezing your hand as he moved passed you. “I’ll see you all in a minute.” He disappeared behind the church door, and you caught a brief sight of Sherlock standing down the aisle. You began to bounce on your feet as the music began.

Molly looked down at Alice, who was sitting on the ground in her flower girl dress, playing with the petals between her fingers. “Ali, it’s our turn now.” Molly took Alice’s hand, smiling at you as opened the door slightly. “You look lovely, (Y/N). I’ll see you in a moment.” Molly disappeared behind the doors. You pictured the scene behind the door, Alice dropping white and peach colored flowers along the aisle.

Mary picked up her bouquet, adjusting it in her grasp as she handed you your own. You fiddled with the group of flowers, sighing contentedly quietly. Mary pressed a kiss to your cheek as her turn came along. “Make sure you don’t trip.” Mary laughed, winking at you as she disappeared. You held your breath, brushing your hair back as you tried to distract yourself.

It had been a little over a year since Sherlock had been shot. It had took a couple weeks to get him back into his normal state, but that was because he insisted on working. You did your best to keep him rested, but it was hard to keep him entertained when you wouldn’t let him leave the flat. However, at the chance to plan a weeding, Sherlock immersed himself in the planning with you. It only took a month for you both to plan every detail of the event.

And here you were, finally. You were getting ready to walk down the aisle to the rest of your life. You knew that the day would come, but you felt that it had taken a bit longer than it actually did. You tightened your grip on your bouquet as you heard the music you were to walk down to began. A smile fell on your face as the doors opened for you, and you began walking down the aisle.

”You only go, where I want you to.”

”I know everything, you don’t want me to.”

Sherlock had first faced the front of your church, head tilted to John as he whispered something into the groom’s ear. A small laugh escaped your lips as Sherlock turned to face you, eyebrows raised as a smile took over his face. You peered down at yourself, shrugging a bit at your groom as you continued walking. He licked his lips, stepping down to wait for you at the base of the steps.

”Oh, your mouth is poison; your mouth is wine.”

”Oh, you think that your dreams are the same as mine.”

Sherlock reached his hand out to you, and you set your hand in his. He quickly tugged you towards him, pressing a kiss to your cheek. You smiled as he did so. “Hello.” He murmured quietly.

”Hi.” You murmured to him, allowing Sherlock to guide you up the small set of stairs. Once you reached the top, his fingers intertwined with your own, and you allowed yourself to lean against him slightly. You listened as Sherlock let out a deep breath slowly as the man who was to marry you two spoke.

Sherlock dipped his head a bit towards you, speaking quietly, “You know, if you want to run off now, I wouldn’t stop you. It’d be logical, run away and not marry a sociopath.”

You rolled your eyes, “I couldn’t run in this dress if I tried.” You smiled as Sherlock’s shoulders shook a bit with laughter. “And besides,” you squeezed his hand gently, “I’m not going anywhere. Are you?”

The man asked you and Sherlock to face each other now as you exchanged vows. Sherlock turned first; taking your left hand into his right after you had passed your bouquet to Mary. He shook his head slightly, keeping his tone low, “I’m never going to leave you ever again.” You pursed your lips together, smiling.

”And now, for the exchanging of vows..” The priest declared, clasping his hands together as he looked at the pair of you expectantly. You watched as Sherlock swallowed, taking a deep breath before speaking.

”(Y/N) (Y/L/N), when you first marched up to into Baker’s Street, into my life, I did not really take notice. When Mary and John told me that they were bringing a woman by the flat who was interested in the vacant room, I believed that you would have been boring. I took you for granted, believing that I would have chased you away a month later. I wasn’t entirely wrong about this deduction, but I was not correct in making it either.” Sherlock smiled a bit, and you returned it, along with a laugh. “When you walked into the room, I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t make out who you were, or who you were going to be to me. I was absolutely subject to your will, and you proved this theory more so when you beat me in a game of deductions.”

”I think it was then that I knew you were going to be important to me. Before you, I did not have much of a concept of what it was to feel affectionate towards another – I had seen it in practice, but I was never one to go forth and feel this way towards someone. You changed all of that for me, (Y/N). You have changed me for the better, changed me into a better man more than I could have ever thought possible. And I vow, for as long as you’ll hold it, you have my heart, because you taught me how to use it. I promise you that you will always come before the cases, before anything that could possibly jeopardize us. I will not let anything harm you ever again.” Sherlock smiled sadly as he said the previous statement, but he squeezed your hands as he finished, “I love you, (Y/N).”

”And now for the bride’s vows..”

You laughed a bit, adjusting your hands in Sherlock’s grip. “Sherlock Holmes, you have changed my life completely. You have changed how I see the world, and how I see those who inhabit it. You have taught me how to look deeper into a person and different situations. And,” You pursed your lips a bit, as tears welled up in your eyes, “I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be here without you. Holmes, you have brought me through so many situations. You showed me how to conquer my fears, and how to grow into a stronger person with them.” Sherlock took your face in his hands as tears fell down your face. He was trying to smile at you as he wiped your tears away with this thumbs. Your hands rested just above his hips.

”I’m sorry to cut you off, love, but” he glanced at the priest, “can we skip ahead a bit? I would like to kiss my wife.” Sherlock grinned a bit, looking down at you.

The priest smiled, “I don’t see why we can’t. Sherlock Holmes, do you solemnly swear to love this woman? To cherish her and care for her until you are parted? And do you swear that no matter what obstacles come into your way during your marriage, you will work through them? That you will work with her and help her achieve what she might wish?”

”I do.” Sherlock grinned as your fists tightened on his body. You took a shaky breath as the priest spoke again.

”And do you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), solemnly swear to love this man? To cherish him and care for him until you are parted? And do you swear that no matter what obstacles come into your way during your marriage, you will work through them? That you will work with him and achieve what he may wish?”

You nodded, “I do.”

”So then, by the power vested in me, and in front of your friends and family, I do hereby pronounce you husband and wife.” You and Sherlock both let out a small laugh of relief. “Sherlock Holmes, you may kiss your bride.”

As Sherlock neared you, you heard him talk quietly over the roar of applause, “Last chance to run.”

”Oh, shut up and kiss me, you idiot.” You giggled as Sherlock pulled you close. He pressed his lips to yours, wrapping his arms around your waist as you threw yours around his neck. He pulled away first, pressing his forehead against yours as he laughed. You did the same, taking his hand (and your bouquet from Mary) as you both exited the wedding hall.

Sherlock tugged you closer to his side as the people who attended the ceremony moved passed you and Sherlock, offering their congratulations. Mary, Molly, John, Alice, and Greg all formed a line beside you and Sherlock, since they were part of your main wedding party. Each person took a turn, kissing your cheek and giving Sherlock a brief hug, offering his or her congratulations. Soon after each person had filed into the reception hall, you and your group of people walked in afterwards.

Just as you were beginning to sit down at your seat at the head table, you heard the clinking of glasses. You nudged Sherlock, who peered up at you with an eyebrow raised, clearly not understanding what was happening. You smiled down at your husband, taking his chin in your hand before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. You ruffled his hair as you pulled away and sat down in your chair. You grinned as Sherlock rolled his eyes, fixing his hair.

After Sherlock had fixed his hair to his satisfaction, he set his arm across the back of your chair. You turned slightly towards Molly and Greg, striking up a conversation. As you continued your conversation, the main entrée of the night was brought out. An hour passed before everyone had finished his or her entrée and dessert. As the final plates were cleared away, John hit his spoon against his glass, standing up to make his best man’s speech.

John cleared his throat a bit, fishing notecards out of his jacket pocket. He nodded to the crowd, smiling, “Good evening, everyone. If we’re being honest, I never thought I would have to write one of these speeches. Most of all, I never thought I would have to write one for Sherlock’s wedding.” Everyone laughed at the comment as John continued, “When (Y/N) accidentally told Mary and I that she and Sherlock were getting married.. We were speechless. Granted that we were trying to save Sherlock’s life at the time, but we were still speechless at what she had said.” John smiled a bit in you and Sherlock’s direction. “We were a bit in shock; however, I think we were hit more with the understanding of how perfect and how obvious it was for Sherlock and (Y/N) to end up together.” Sherlock took your hand once again, rubbing his thumb over the wedding ring that now decorated your finger.

”Sherlock Holmes has been my best friend for.. a while now. I reckon that he is the longest friend I’ve ever had. He’s also the biggest pain I’ve ever had in my life.” John chuckled a bit, patting Sherlock’s shoulder. “I mean that in the best way, of course. When we first met, Sherlock asked me to work on cases with him. I ended up writing about those cases, and I’m sure most of you know many of them, especially if you’ve heard Sherlock’s speech at my own wedding. The cases became a major component of my life, and then (Y/N) entered Sherlock’s life.” Sherlock’s cheeks flushed red as another life passed through your and the audience’s lips. “Suddenly, I was getting fewer and fewer phone calls about the cases. Eventually, the calls stopped all together, and I had to call and ask Lestrade if Sherlock had any cases. Lestrade then informed that he did, and that he was bringing along a, to quote Lestrade, a fine looking woman named (Y/N).” Sherlock’s eyebrows rose, and then he looked down at Lestrade, shaking his head at the man. You laughed more. “I didn’t think anything of it, really. I was just a bit frustrated I wasn’t getting any attention.” John smiled, “However, in her infinite wisdom, that was when Mary began to suspect that something was going on between (Y/N) and Sherlock.”

”And I could go on and tell you of the teasing we put Sherlock through, but those stories are best saved for a later date. Really, I could go on about (Y/N) and Sherlock for hours, but I feel that you all would have created a murder case for Sherlock to solve. So I’ll keep it to the basics. What you all need to know about (Y/N) and Sherlock is,” John set his notecards down, taking up his flute of champagne, “They are absolutely made for each other.” Sherlock smiled at you, meeting your eyes. You returned the smile, squeezing his hand a bit. “In areas where one lacks, the other makes up for. This couple has overcome so many odds while together that it is truly a miracle they finally decided to tie the knot. Mr. and Mrs. Holmes, congratulations on your wonderful marriage today and the days to come. I cannot wait to see what the years to come have for you.” John raised his glass, nodding his head once again in your direction, “To (Y/N) and Sherlock.”

The crowd raised their glasses, saying collectively, “To (Y/N) and Sherlock.”

–

You smiled as your husband led you to the dance floor. He had insisted that he dance with you for your first dance, even though you insisted he play his violin. He actually didn’t care much for the idea, instead suggesting you both dance to the song you had walked down the aisle to. Sherlock spun you around slowly before pulling you close as the song began. You grinned up at Sherlock as he began to hum the words of the song quietly.

”You’ve been listening to the song.” You noted.

”Considering that you have deemed it to be ‘our song,’ I figured I could educate myself on it.” He smiled at you a bit, “Does it really remind you of us?”

”Poison and Wine?” You shrugged, nodding your head side to side a bit, “I believe that it fits us, in a way. Do you like it?”

”As long as you like it, I like it.” Sherlock spun you again, “And you’re happy?”

”Why wouldn’t I be?”

”Because you could be realizing that I’m a mistake.”

You rolled your eyes, “You are not a mistake, Holmes. You’re my husband, and I love you. I told you, I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere.” You smiled, resting your hand on his cheek. He pressed his cheek slightly into your hand, sighing and allowing a smile to fall on his face.

”I love you too, Mrs. Holmes.” He murmured before pulling you closer for a kiss.

–

It had been nearly three months since your wedding and your return from your honeymoon with Sherlock to Amsterdam. Somehow, you had managed to keep Sherlock from going and looking for a case during your honeymoon. The two weeks you spent in the city were beautiful, almost like a dream for you. The city’s flowers were beginning to bloom, creating a confetti throughout the city and its canals.

When you both had returned to London, you and Sherlock slowly began to sink back into your normal routine. You went back to working at the pediatrician ward, and Sherlock solved cases once again. But as the third month of being back in London began, you noticed small changes with yourself.

You were getting sick more often, and you were much hungrier than before. You didn’t think much of it, believing that you had only picked up a small cold from working with the children. Sherlock didn’t see anything wrong, because you didn’t typically get sick during the evenings you and Sherlock spent together. Your larger appetite was seem to him as being a normal thing, because you didn’t usually eat very much while you were working.

On a quiet whim, you asked Molly run the same test on you a few times. And now, you sat on one of the lab tables, biting your fingernails as Molly ran her tests. You tried to keep your breathing even, aware of the two possibilities that could happen.

The sound of Molly pulling off her rubber gloves brought you out of your thoughts. You looked to her expectantly, biting your lip. You held your breath and froze as you waited for what she would say.

”Well.. If you’re looking for girls’ names,” Molly smiled at you, “Molly is a good one.”

Your eyebrows rose, tears filling your eyes, “Really?” Your question came out in a whisper, and Molly nodded enthusiastically.

Molly wrapped her arms around you, hugging you tightly, “Congratulations, (Y/N)!” You returned the hug tightly, murmuring a thank you. Molly released you, nodding towards the door. “You better run and tell him.” She smiled, and you nodded slowly.

You pushed yourself off the table, walking to the door quickly. “Thank you, Molly!” You called as you pushed out the door, breaking into a sprint to the main doors of the building. You threw your arm up in the air, hailing for a cab. When one pulled in next to you, you opened the door quickly before climbing inside. You asked the driver to take you Baker’s Street and smiled to yourself as the cab sped off in that direction. Your hand fell onto your belly, and you rubbed it absentmindedly. The cab came to a steady stop in front of your home, and you paid for the cab as you climbed out. You took the stairs two at a time, smiling as you heard the familiar sounds of Sherlock walking throughout the flat. “Sherlock.” You breathed his name as you entered the room.

His gaze flittered over to you from his pacing, smiling a bit. “Oh good, you’re here. (Y/N), I need you to help me with this case. It’s a double homici-“

”Sherlock.” You repeated his name, trying to get his attention.

”(Y/N), I’m trying to tell you of a very important case. Please do not interrupt me. As I was saying, it’s a double homicide. There are two sets of fingerprints – they’re both the victims’, but there is no evidence that there was a third person. However, the wounds show that there really was a third person involved. Now –“

”Sherlock.” You laughed, shaking your head at your husband.

He sighed, turning to face you, “Fine then. What is it, (Y/N)?”

”I’m pregnant.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could find another way to say them. Your happiness was evident in the speed of your words. Sherlock froze in his place, staring at you. You raised an eyebrow, “Sherlock? Are you okay?” When he didn’t respond, you began to frown. “You do want a child, don’t you, Holmes?” Worry began to wash over you as he continued to not respond, a blank expression on his face. “Sherlock, please answer me.”

Suddenly Sherlock was kneeling in front of you, pushing your shirt up to expose your stomach to him. He stared at it briefly before leaning forward and pressing a kiss on your skin. “Are you sure?” He murmured finally.

You nodded quickly, “I asked Molly to run the tests. We think I’m about seven weeks now.”

”Well that explains your sickness and growth…” He murmured quietly. His hands were running over your skin.

”You knew I was getting sick?”

”Of course I knew. I’m your husband.” He muttered.

”And what do you mean by growth then?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. Sherlock’s eyes glanced at your crossed arms. And you shook your head, “You really pay that much attention?”

”As your husband, I believe I should receive some good recognition for paying attention.” Sherlock grinned up at you before turning his attention back to where a combination of you and himself grew.

You smiled down at Sherlock, running a hand through his hair. “So you’re okay?”

”Okay? I’m wonderful, (Y/N).” Sherlock licked his lips, smiling as he stood up straight. He adjusted your shirt for you before resting his hands on your waist. He pulled you close, pressing a kiss to your lips quickly. He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes closed as a smile filled his face. “We’re going to have a family.”

You giggled a bit, “Actually, we’re having an addition to our family.”

”You, me, and a baby.” Sherlock let out a slow breath, shaking his head slightly. “I can’t believe it. I never thought this would happen to me.” He pressed another kiss to your lips, “Thank you, thank you. I love you.”

”I love you too.” As you said the words, Sherlock moved away from you slightly. He disappeared into the vacant room in the flat, and you laughed as you heard his voice carry out into the main room.

”What colour shall we paint the nursery?”

And so you trailed into the potential nursery, creating a dream of what the room where your child would inhabit. The conversation then led to the qualities the child would have (my mind or yours? who’s hair would they have?). Eventually you and Sherlock sat together on the bed that would have to be moved in order to make room for a crib and a changing table, discussing what your child would be like and what their room would look like. That was how you began adding to your family. And you smiled to yourself and allowed yourself to get lost in the conversation because, after all this time, things were finally coming together in the most perfect of ways.


End file.
